Interesting this blogging. I suppose I received some helpful feedback? I hadn't ever considered the commentary factor of the blog. Still though, I don't see why I can't continue. Addiction I believe is a personal issue, one that someone else could not ever comment on. Having some one else tell you to stop is probably one of the problems addicts of all things must deal with. People who are not addicted to something cannot comprehend the sensation. Pure frustration that there is a portion of your brain which is overriding what the rest of your brain is telling you. It is as if you become a split personality. But whatever.

One of the annoying bits tied to quitting is the irritating hum that flows through you when you are craving a drug. This hum keeps me on edge; distracted at best. There is the nagging understanding that just one fix is all it takes to make the feeling go away. Suddenly a couple of days seems like a long time because you jsut want the anxiety to go away. 3 days they say to get nicotine out of your system. Then it is a waiting game to get your brain back in the running. I have been here before, pushed past this intial struggle and gone nicotine free for long periods of time. Why i stumble back, i don't know. Somehow i manage to forget pain of quitting, overridden by my lifelong addiction. This will be the case forever, always out there, always calling me back. And here i go again, trudging along on the path to freedom.