Aarrgghh!! Ughh! Ick! ((Shudder)) Eeeww!
Okay, now that I have that out of the way......
Aarrgghh!! Ughh! Ick! ((Shudder)) Eeeww!
Oops, I guess I wasn't done being revolted yet. Oh well...
Once upon a time, there was a girl that liked boys. Alot. So much that she would chase them on the playground and push them down so she could kiss them. When she was in first grade. As the girl grew older, she loved boys. Constantly. She was always in love with someone, and often with more than one boy at a time. As her body developed, she discovered the power she held over boys, and how much fun it was to tease them. She flirted, teased, and had a good time for many years, without actually becoming sexually involved with anyone. Oh, she wanted to, but she held back, waiting because she'd been told to. The girl went to college, and away from parental restrictions, she became even more uninhibited, teasing and tantalizing wherever she went. Then she met him. The one. She fell in love, for real this time. She finally followed through with all of her teasing, and discovered another love. She got married and was able to enjoy both loves all the time. The girl was left alone for periods of time ranging from a few weeks to a year, becoming lonely each time. You see, though the girl loved the one boy, she still liked boys, period. She teased, joked, laughed, and did stupid things. She did not ever indulge in her second love with anyone other than the one boy, but was tempted at times. To protect herself from her lonliness and lust, the girl secluded herself from others and gained weight so noone else would find her attractive. Unfortunately, this ultimately backfired, as the girl discovered that she and the one boy were made unhappy by her appearance, and she still received unwanted proposals. Like last night.
Over the years I have been on the receiving end of many interesting propositions and proposals. Like the guy that was three months younger than my Mom, and went around calling my parents Mom and Dad because he wanted to marry me. I think that started in my junior year of high school. He was in his late 40's. Or my senior year, the guy from Chile that told my parents he wanted to take me home with him. My Dad told him only if he gave him 3 horses. He went home, and when he returned to the states, he had 6 horses with him, but there was something amiss with his paperwork, and he was stopped in Florida and sent back. I believe he was 28 at the time, and he reminded me somewhat of Fabio, in the face, not his body. There were other guys that were interested when I was in High School, but they all seemed to be much older than I was. Those that I had crushes on or were violently in love with were my age, or at least a little bit closer, and either were not interested, or were too intimidated to say anything about it. There was this one guy though, he told me he was a vampire and offered to turn me into one too. At the last minute, I decided not to meet him where I was supposed to for our appointment...
Then I went to college where I, again, had crushes on practically every guy around, and flirted pretty hard. To the point that one comment made by a male friend after my husband and I started dating was, "does your crotch belong to him, or just anyone?"
Anyway, when I finally became involved with someone officially, the other guys started making propositions. From the guy that thought we could be a "nice little threesome" to the "friend" that wanted to help comfort and console me after he had analyzed my marriage and tried to convince me it was doomed to fail. Then, my man went away to boot camp, and I was accused of having an affair with our boss a week later. The higher ups were looking for an excuse to fire him, and used that. I was so mad I quit and helped him sue them, which led to me spending entirely too much time with someone I should not have. That point was driven home when I ran into a former college classmate who seemed surprised that I was still married, and then by the former boss' casual comment that he really needed to find himself a fuckbuddy while we were driving down the highway. Then, when I first started delivering pizzas, there was a gate guard that wouldn't leave me alone, until SPC Nbs called him at 1am and then got him suspended for awhile.
I think I have actually had more people hit on me since I got married than before, even with all of the extra weight. Which brings me back to last night. That one wins the prize. I was at work and talking with a couple of the guys there. The conversation got around to marriage and I asked how long one had been married. He answered and I replied that he'd been married only 6 months longer than SPC Nbs and I have been. He was shocked at the length of time, as we do not have any children yet. I explained that I'd had a miscarriage a few months after we married, and it just happened yet.
"Well, you do know where babies come from, right?"
"Yes, but it kind of requires him actually being here"
Pause
"Oh, well, I'll take one for the team"
"I don't think so!"
I then left on a delivery, shuddering and trying not to be sick the whole way. I thought I'd heard it all. Even though it was probably meant in a joking way, I don't know him well enough to jest like that, and it was just plain wrong. Pray for me, I have to work with him again tomorrow night.
