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jlaur65
jlaur65
Join Date 12/2005
0

proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity

January 17, 2006 7:40:18 PM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
On a package of airline peanuts: Open packet and eat contents. (i would have just eaten the bag too if i hadn't known that)
On a chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (if you've done this, raise your hand. wait-- i mean... oh never mind)
On a mirror for a bicycle helmet: Remember -- objects in the mirror are actually behind you. (how many accidents are these people going to cause?)
On a bottle of flavored-milk drink: After opening, keep upright. (i drink my milk upside down.)
On a steering-wheel lock: Warning -- remove lock before driving. (are these instructions for the car thief?)
On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (but that's the only time i have to do it!)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". ("shoplifter special")
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and how would that be?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." (but it's only a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: printed on bottom of a box: "Do not turn upside down". (too late for you. that sucks.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (no kidding....)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (oh i'm not supposed to do that?? maybe that's why my clothes are still wrinkly.)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (this will help stop underage driving also.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (why exactly am i taking this?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to??)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (which is?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". (i would hope so...)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (i blame the parents)
On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face." (oh darn. now how am i going to show my school spirit ? )
On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. (i guess i'll have to by some other product to clean my tub first before i use the bathtub cleaner...)
On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable! (sweeeet.)
On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate." (oh really?)
On a stroller with the warning, "Remove child before folding." (oooook.)

there it is.
proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity.
"
humor
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jlaur65
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
+45
Reply #1 January 17, 2006 10:13:11 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Well, the simple fact that a shampoo bottle has directions on it is all the proof you really need.
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jlaur65
JillUser
Join Date 11/2003
+17
Reply #2 January 17, 2006 10:46:56 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
"On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (i blame the parents)" I've actually seen this one.

"On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. (i guess i'll have to by some other product to clean my tub first before i use the bathtub cleaner...)" My Grandma was seriously pissed when she got her can of scrubbing bubbles on it and it said that very same thing. She wanted to sue the company for false advertising since it claimed that the bubbles would scrub your tub so you wouldn't have to.

I think it is ridiculous that all bags have to say "bag is not a toy. Do not place over head. May cause suffocation." I say let natural selection run its course!
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jlaur65
KFC Kickin For Christ
Join Date 11/2005
+93
Reply #3 January 17, 2006 11:24:19 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
hmmmmm so doesn't this disprove evolution?

It's all downhill from here!!!
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jlaur65
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
+129
Reply #4 January 18, 2006 8:44:36 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
The warnings are stupid, but the comments are hilarious!
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jlaur65
latour999
Join Date 09/2004
0
Reply #5 January 18, 2006 1:11:09 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Every time the words "I'm calling my lawyer" are uttered, a sign or warning label is born
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jlaur65
jlaur65
Join Date 12/2005
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Reply #6 January 18, 2006 4:00:03 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

The warnings are stupid, but the comments are hilarious!


hence the title...

hmmmmm so doesn't this disprove evolution?


mmmmayyyybeeeee.
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jlaur65
ParaTed2k
Join Date 12/2004
+35
Reply #7 January 18, 2006 4:12:45 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
The first warning on all products should be:

"If you were stupid before you read these warnings, you'll be just as stupid afterwards. Good luck in your short life!" ;~D

Thanks for the laughs!
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jlaur65
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #8 January 18, 2006 4:30:34 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Every time the words "I'm calling my lawyer" are uttered, a sign or warning label is born

Latour!  I am impressed!  There is hope for you yet!  Very pithy statement, and one worth quoting!

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