| Because I love her I will not slander nor defame her in the way in which she has done me. |
I really don't think she intended to "slander or defame" you. She may have indirectly made some dirogetory remarks, but this is her blog---meaning sometimes her thoughts are caustic, hence the writing instead of facing the person who was the initial catalyst for the pain. Tenille loves you and your girls; is she didn't, she wouldn't be writing about the situation or trying to fix it.
| But I do want to teach them that life isn't fair and we don't have to pretend that everything is okay, and not to fear the questions that we have. |
Can I just say that I want to celebrate at the sight of those words? It's such a blessing that the girls are being raised by someone who is (finally) aware of that. I also want to say that your decisions pertaining to God are no one's business but your own, and think everyone, even Tenille, has gone through that. She just chooses to describe her thoughts in a different way, with a little less bluntness and a lot more caution, mostly because she knows that people judge others for doubt.
| Most of all they know that they are loved by myself and many others. Ask Tenille, I don't think she would disagree. |
No, she definately would not disagree. Did you ever speak with Tenille about exactly what happened during the said conversation with the girls? Tenille knows that you have always done the best you can, and that no one could ever love those girls more than you. But, she also loves the girls, and when they come to her with genuine concern and tears in their eyes, all she wants to do is ease their pain. I realize she doesn't know the girls as well as you; she no longer lives with them, and they become more complex every year. This is a big part of the cause for this whole problem. I don't believe she ever said anything to the girls defiling your character or your ability as a parent. As far as I know, she did nothing but defend you and let the girls know that you're just busy and you could never stop loving them. I think you know this, too. You said yourself, children can be manipulative, and they can also be misleading. I think they came to you with a "Tenille said we should talk" attitude, and you mistook it for "Tenille said you suck".
If I were you, I would be just as defensive with it came to my parenting technique, and no one should have the right to question it. But Tenille was a large part of the girls lives, as well as yours, and she feels she knows when something is wrong. She is a "fixer" (which, believe me, gets extremely annoying), and wants everything to be pleasant in everyone's lives. I think she just needs to learn that families have hard times; it's a rule of life.
I know that you know that the girls well-being is in no way threatened by them being Tenille. She may have made some bad judgements pertaining to who can watch the girls and what movies they can see, but I really don't think you would have protested in the way you did until the conversation between Tenille and the girls took place. What I don't think you believe is that Tenille would NEVER ever make your girls think that you are in any way a bad parent. She would defend you to the death.
I have been informed that Tenille apologized and agreed to do whatever you requested of her when the girls were in her care. She doesn't know what else to do, and this is tearing her up. So, in a moment of desperation, she wrote about it and elicited responses telling her that there is good and evil, and she is the good. I think there is some gray area, and you guys should talk like adults (I realize I'm not EVEN the one who should be writing this) at least for the girls sake.
Tenille shouldn't make this about her, and you shouldn't make it about you...you know who it's about. This isn't divorce court.
Trinitie
p.s. Thank you for your comment on my sisters; the fact that YOU think I'm a GOOD influence makes me smile, cuz you've always believed me to be a bit...off...which I am.
P.p.s. Tenille doesn't know I'm writing this, and will probably be upset after she sees it. She in no way influence my thinking; I don't even know if she's read your comment yet; she's at school.
