From the early age of about seven I remember fantasising about men.
I guess I was an early "bloomer" but I definately remember that all the sexual fantasies I had were about being with other guys. Never at anytime was a woman part of the equation.
If I had a boner, it was because I was thinking about a man.
Did I wake up one morning and think.. oh it would be so wonderful if I was gay? Heck I didnt even know what gay or homosexual meant. I knew there was something different, considering all the talk around me by my peers about looking at girls, because for me what did it was guys.
Actually, the thought of having sex with a woman repulses me. (no offense to the women here) but I find the thought of a vagina actually repulsive.
Am I choosing to think this way? Is it by choice that I am gay? Well I could choose to start having sex with a woman (wait till i go get the bucket) .. but for me, it would be unnatural. For starters physically I wouldnt be able to perform, (how do I know? Ive tried..) there is nothing there that is gonna do it for me.
Is it a choice? No, it is just a part of who I am. Notice I say it is a part of. It isnt all me. Sexually I am attracted to guys. But there is more to me than just what I do or dont do in bed. I am a Human first and foremost with feelings and emotions and intelligence just like everyone else.
I am a Physical, Emotional and Spiritual being.
People tend to describe gay people just based on what they do in the bedroom. Like some sick voyuerism that mostly (notice i say mostly ..not ALL ) Christians have when they think of the word "gay" they automatically think of anal sex or whatever they think gay people do or dont do in bed (mostly when im in bed guys im sleeping).
There is more to being human than sexuality. It is only a small part.
So maybe what we need to do is accept diversity. That not all humans are the same, (oh wouldnt it be boring if we were all the same). We all come from different backgrounds, bring with us different customs and display different ideologies. That is what makes humanity beautiful, that is what distinguishes us from animals, that is what makes us unique in the Universe. We arent all the same.
What I see here on JU are people who are mostly straight debating on gay issues. How would they know what it is like to be a homosexual? They can only surmise on what they see, and believe me what they see out there in the parades and television shows does no way represent the majority of Gay people or realistically portray them. How do I know? Cause I am one and I live the life and see the community.
I cringe when I see shows on the television like "queer eye for the straight guy" or "will and Grace", because people, it isnt what it is like, and they are the minority not the majority.
Is it a choice? yeah of course it is a choice, just like I could choose to be something I am not, but would that be the right thing to do? Should I live a lie just to please everyone else? Because of what someone else has told me that who I am is wrong based on what they believe. I dont believe I should nor should anyone else. I believe we are who we are and to not be who we are would be not only an injustice to ourselves but to the whole human race.
