THe outside monsters are brutal and kick ass, it takes for ever just to build spear men who get owned by the avearge monster.
Also how do I form another city aparently I need grain but there is no grain anywhere to be found after the first city.
1. avoid big evil monsters, level your sovereign on the nearby weak monsters. also make your spear militia join your sovereign and let them tag team, as long as its a unit built in a city and a hero/sovereign they wont split xp, they will both get full amounts of xp, and battles will be easier.
2. you cannot found a city within 8 tiles of other cities, this is very poorly shown from the UI, so you need to be far away from all cities, even the ones you cannot see, and then on grass (green or purple stuff on the ground).
3. CTRL+N makes a new map, incase the start you had is totally rubbish, clicking these 2 buttons at the same time will make the generator remake the map with the same preferences, so you can get a proper game 
.
4. make a custom sovereign, the premade ones are rubbish, I can advice some starting sovereigns if you need ideas...
5. Starting up, research spear research first, then the first 1 or 2 prestige techs, then a couple of food techs, get the "Shard Harvesting" when appropriate shards are nearby, also cast inspiration on your starting town asap. (Found in your spellbook, boosts research by +2 points per turn, and an additional 10% in target city, costs 1 mana per turn and some mana on cast).
Sincerely
~ Kongdej
