When I was a little girl, I, like any little girl, adored my father. We were two peas in a pod, and nothing could hurt the special relationship we shared. When I turned 16, my father stopped talking to me... for no reason in the world, at least none that I could see. Alligations began to arise about what he did with my sisters. My mother accused my Father of sexually molesting my older siser Molly, who was not his real daughter, and my youngest sister Samantha. At first, when I heard the terrible rumors going around I stood up for my father, I claimed that they had no proof of anything like that and that they were all just envious of his happyness. But when my sister Molly told me herself that daddy had hurt her... I cried. I secretly knew deep down that he probobly did... and that was why he didnt talk with me anymore When I think about it... I wonder if he did anything with me. I remember VERY little from when I was a little girl, only that I spent a lot of time with my father. I have been so afriad to even try to remember anything for fear it will bring up an ugly monstar that I worked so hard on burrying. When these thoughts first came to me... it was right after I had sex for the first time. I never fooled around with anyone else... and I was a good girl. But I didnt bleed.... and nothing ripped.. It was like my worst fears were coming true. Now I have heard some girls dont have the tissue in the first place and there is nothing wrong at all.. but what if ... long ago.. my innocense was stolen from me. I am debating on going to a hypntherapist and seeing if he finds anything out.. but if he did... how could I ever face myself... or my boyfriend. I would feel so violated....so wrong. After years of sobbing over his dissapearance... is it time to let a dead horse lie or see whats really in my past... I have to admit it would be comforting to find out that my father did none of those things. So the question is... Do I ruin my childhood hero im age of my loving father by tainting it with the blood he so ruthlessly spilled so long ago... or do I just leave it all alone to linger in my mind... is he really capable of such maddness... such horrible maddness?
