Kinda late to this conversation. I have to say that if what you say is true than it would be a shame that no one would actually care in that manner about you. I don't know you very well, but unless you have been lying or only saying about the good things you do or good days you have, from what I have read on your aticles you seem like a decent person, one that could be a great example of how this country could benefit if there were more people like you.
I, on the other hand, feel as if I would be missed (at least by my mother, brothers, sister and my kids) alot yet I don't think I would deserve such attention. My life has been nothing but one screw up after another ever since I reached 17 years old. I have never been able to accomplish anything that anyone could be proud of and even those things that seem like decent accomplishments are easily dismissed by the 10 mistakes I make before or after. I often find myself thinking about the damage I have caused to everyone around me, my kids, their mother, my own family. I then find myself trying to figure out what to do to stop the damage since my screw ups don't seem to end to this date. Many ideas have crossed my mind (disappearing to another country or anoter state, becoming a monk or some kind of spiritual person who keeps to themselves, and yes, even suicide) but I find that they too would cause more dameg to my family which makes my thinking even harder.
They say the first step to solving a personal problem is to admit you have one. It would seem this is the first and only step since I have never been able to go beyond admitting and accepting I have a problem. All my attempts to change and fix my problems have been futile.
I am sorry for my long rant Mason and possibly stealing a bit on your thunder on your own article. You gave me an opportunity to let some steam out. Thank you.
