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sandy2
Join Date 08/2004
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What if Bill Gates were president

October 19, 2004 7:43:52 PM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Something someone posted reminded me of bill gates humor, so I thought, hey why not make one for if Bill Gates was president:

1) Instead of congressmen, we would have animated paper clip assistants representing us
2) The federal government would "freeze", causing chaos
3) Vaccines would be needed for all the new viruses
4) Washington DC would move to Richmond, washington
5) The official logo of the white hosue would change to a blue screen reading Error
6) When someone doesn't agree with bill, all he has to do is start- shutdown
7) Elections would be planned every four years, but held every 10, with small mid terms inbetween
8) Steve jobs would start the Mac Party
9) The government wouldn't even have to spy on you.. thats what computers are for
and 10) happy Fatal Error Day

ok.. I know that stunk.. anyone have any better ones? I can't be funny about computers.. i don't know enough about them, plus windows works well for me.. oh well
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sandy2
blogic
Join Date 05/2004
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Reply #1 October 19, 2004 7:47:16 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Hi sandy

Funny! Much better than I could do. I especially liked number seven.
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sandy2
Grim Xiozan
Join Date 08/2004
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Reply #2 October 19, 2004 7:52:00 PM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
If Government locks up hit CTRL-ALT-DELETE

If for some reason Steve Jobs becomes President and Government locks up BUY WHOLE NEW MAC IN SHINY BOX!!
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sandy2
drmiler
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #3 October 19, 2004 8:05:48 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Reply #2 By: Grim Xiozan - 10/19/2004 7:52:00 PM
If Government locks up hit CTRL-ALT-DELETE

If for some reason Steve Jobs becomes President and Government locks up BUY WHOLE NEW MAC IN SHINY BOX!!


Ah hell, just hit the reset button!
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sandy2
apdelong31
Join Date 04/2004
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Reply #4 October 19, 2004 8:16:38 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Congressmen are reminded, "Spell check doesn't check grammar"

Each branch of government will need de-fragged every couple months or so.

And finally, the political spectrum, rather than liberal and conservative, would be "programmer" and "spammer" (substitute however you like, I'm not trying to send any subliminal messages here)
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sandy2
InfoGeek
Join Date 11/2003
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Reply #5 October 19, 2004 8:17:22 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Presidential Veto power would be replaced by Blue Screen of Death.

IG
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sandy2
stevendedalus
Join Date 11/2003
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Reply #6 October 19, 2004 8:21:24 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Vaccines would be needed for all the new viruses
Pending the issuance of virus-free service packs. You are really hilarious!
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sandy2
Champas Socialist
Join Date 07/2004
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Reply #7 October 30, 2004 11:35:17 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
That didn't sink at all, I thought it was funny.
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sandy2
latour999
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #8 October 31, 2004 12:40:53 AM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
He would introduce a constitutional amendment to ban Netscape

To win the election, he could Ctrl-Alt-Delete Florida voters. Sound familiar?

He's so rich he could just buy the election anyway, like they did in 2000.
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drmiler
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #9 October 31, 2004 12:47:00 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Reply #8 By: latour999 - 10/31/2004 12:40:53 AM
He would introduce a constitutional amendment to ban Netscape

To win the election, he could Ctrl-Alt-Delete Florida voters. Sound familiar?

He's so rich he could just buy the election anyway, like they did in 2000.


No one bought the 2000 election. GW won it fair and square by a little over 500 votes! Gore whined and complained until he had "3" different recounts and lost every one of them. The supreme court got tired of hearing the same stuff over and over and finally said "Enough is enough"! How many times did they have to recount to suit you?
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sandy2
Texas Wahine
Join Date 08/2004
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Reply #10 October 31, 2004 12:50:08 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
These were very witty, sandy.
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latour999
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #11 October 31, 2004 2:23:20 AM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
But had they counted ALL the votes, Gore would have won, but since he only asked for a partial recount, it is partially his own stupid fault. For me to be happy, all they have to do is count all the votes and declare the winner President. Is that too much to ask? Wait...no...Better idea: let the man who gets the most votes win.
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drmiler
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #12 October 31, 2004 2:30:42 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Reply #11 By: latour999 - 10/31/2004 2:23:20 AM
But had they counted ALL the votes, Gore would have won, but since he only asked for a partial recount, it is partially his own stupid fault. For me to be happy, all they have to do is count all the votes and declare the winner President. Is that too much to ask? Wait...no...Better idea: let the man who gets the most votes win.


Yeah but the partial count he asked for were heavily Democratic counties. And ince this was the case I don't think he would have made it.
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latour999
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #13 October 31, 2004 2:58:29 AM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
Actually, they had a media recount, and had they (election officials) counted all the votes, Gore wins. Also, there mere many African-American (predominately Democratic) voters wrongly prevented from voting, so Gore would have won by a wider margin. The problem is the system. Since it is based on who wins what state, your vote only matters if you live in a swing state. Voting for Kerry in Texas or Utah isn't going to change anything, same as voting for Bush in Massachusetts. Elections should be decided on one person=one vote, by the popular vote. But it doesn't matter because in a few days, there will be an elected President: John Forbes Kerry
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drmiler
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #14 October 31, 2004 3:11:37 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Actually, they had a media recount, and had they (election officials) counted all the votes, Gore wins. Also, there mere many African-American (predominately Democratic) voters wrongly prevented from voting


First the media would have absolutly NO idea how many votes either candidate might have gotten. Those results are not in the public domain. Second the disenfranchisement of the black voters IN Florida were found to have absolutely no merit. In other words false accusations. Try again.
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sandy2
kingbee
Join Date 04/2004
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Reply #15 October 31, 2004 3:30:35 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Reply #9 By: drmiler - 10/31/2004 12:47:00 AM

Reply #8 By: latour999 - 10/31/2004 12:40:53 AM
He would introduce a constitutional amendment to ban Netscape

To win the election, he could Ctrl-Alt-Delete Florida voters. Sound familiar?

He's so rich he could just buy the election anyway, like they did in 2000.


No one bought the 2000 election. GW won it fair and square by a little over 500 votes! Gore whined and complained until he had "3" different recounts and lost every one of them. The supreme court got tired of hearing the same stuff over and over and finally said "Enough is enough"! How many times did they have to recount to suit you?


jeez luweez....it was a JOKE son.  a JOKE

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sandy2
kingbee
Join Date 04/2004
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Reply #16 October 31, 2004 3:34:22 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

betcha gates would be willing to slip dick a big stock option to keep him on the ticket.   


*shakes head a few times to erase that vision*


this gates for president thing is way too scary to deal with.

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drmiler
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #17 October 31, 2004 3:34:47 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Reply #15 By: kingbee - 10/31/2004 3:30:35 AM
Reply #9 By: drmiler - 10/31/2004 12:47:00 AM

Reply #8 By: latour999 - 10/31/2004 12:40:53 AM
He would introduce a constitutional amendment to ban Netscape

To win the election, he could Ctrl-Alt-Delete Florida voters. Sound familiar?

He's so rich he could just buy the election anyway, like they did in 2000.


No one bought the 2000 election. GW won it fair and square by a little over 500 votes! Gore whined and complained until he had "3" different recounts and lost every one of them. The supreme court got tired of hearing the same stuff over and over and finally said "Enough is enough"! How many times did they have to recount to suit you?



jeez luweez....it was a JOKE son. a JOKE


Ohhhhhhhh. Sorry!
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