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Fight Club-Who would win?

Yeah, baby. I need a life

April 25, 2008 11:30:47 AM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Okay, so because of all of this I hear about Jack Bauer vs. Buffy, I'm curious  out of these couples, and any other you can think of, who would win?  I don't just want physical fights, but matches of intelligence of wit, as well.

 

 

 

Buffy vs. River (Serenity)

The Winchester brothers of Supernatural vs. The Buffy gang (minus Buffy, of course, because Buffy could kill them)


Ninja vs. Pirate

Evil Dead zombies vs. Dawn of the Dead zombies vs. I am Legend zombies

Angel vs. Dracula

 

 

And any more you can think of.  Come on, let's have some fun with this one!  

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Cedarbird
SanChonino
Join Date 12/2005
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Reply #1 April 25, 2008 11:55:52 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Buffy vs. River (Serenity)


What's that? Buff just kicked River out the airlock.

The Winchester brothers of Supernatural vs. The Buffy gang (minus Buffy, of course, because Buffy could kill them)


Sam and Dean, all the way. Just pump Xander full of rocksalt. He'll be out for awhile.

Ninja vs. Pirate


The Zombie Robot would assimilate them both, making the ultimate weapon of death and destruction . . .

Yes, that's right.

The Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot.

Evil Dead zombies vs. Dawn of the Dead zombies vs. I am Legend zombies


Shaun of the Dead zombies FTW! But out of these three, Evil Dead. (Dead by dawn!)

Angel vs. Dracula


Angel or Angelus? Because Angel vs. Dracula, Dracula all the way. Take away Angel's soul, though, and he's totally got it in the bag.
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Cedarbird
SH80
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Reply #2 April 25, 2008 2:35:21 PM
from Stardock ForumsStardock Forums

Barack b*tch-slaps Hilary after a low-blow (no pun intended) kick to the rocks...both are KO'ed...John wins and gas prices reach $5/gallon by Christmas...d@mn...bring in Jack and Buffy to save the day.

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Cedarbird
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Reply #3 April 25, 2008 3:24:41 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Angel or Angelus? Because Angel vs. Dracula, Dracula all the way. Take away Angel's soul, though, and he's totally got it in the bag.


Both.

Barack b*tch-slaps Hilary after a low-blow (no pun intended) kick to the rocks...both are KO'ed...John wins and gas prices reach $5/gallon by Christmas...d@mn...bring in Jack and Buffy to save the day.


Heheheheheheheh, you're funny, but so true!!!
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Cedarbird
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Reply #4 April 25, 2008 3:50:37 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
What about....Astronaut vs. Caveman.

Or, in a battle of wits, um, Joss Whedon's shows vs. Gilmore Girls?
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Reply #5 April 25, 2008 4:04:57 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Or, in a battle of wits, um, Joss Whedon's shows vs. Gilmore Girls?


Wits or pop-culture references?

Whedon wins for pure wit, Gilmore Girls wins for intertextuality.
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Cedarbird
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Reply #6 April 25, 2008 4:09:23 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
intertextuality


I think you made that word up.
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Cedarbird
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Reply #7 April 25, 2008 4:13:26 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I think you made that word up.


Suck on this, sister.

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Cedarbird
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Reply #8 April 25, 2008 4:16:20 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Buffy vs. River (Serenity)

The Winchester brothers of Supernatural vs. The Buffy gang (minus Buffy, of course, because Buffy could kill them)


Ninja vs. Pirate

Evil Dead zombies vs. Dawn of the Dead zombies vs. I am Legend zombies

Angel vs. Dracula



Don't know about Buffy v. River. Never watched Buffy.

Ninja v. Pirate: Ninja. Ninjas are finely tuned athletic machines with almost superhuman abilities.

Evil Dead Zombies v. Dawn of the Dead Zombies v. I am Legend Zombies: IamLZ were crappy cgi, so no way. How about the zombies from Planet Terror?

Don't know Angel, so I can't answer that one.

Astronaut v. Caveman: Cavemen have the blind rage retard strength. Astronauts are smart and fit, but they are better with buttons and knobs that blunt killing instruments.



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Cedarbird
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Reply #9 April 25, 2008 4:20:33 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
How about the zombies from Planet Terror?


As long as I can get some Cherry Darling on my side . . .

(I was planning on re-watching Serenity tonight. Now I'm reconsidering and thinking Planet Terror might be more fun. Curse decisions!)
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Cedarbird
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Reply #10 April 25, 2008 4:25:17 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Never seen, or heard of Planet Terror. So I wouldn't know.


What about...Oh!!!! Speaking and Charisma:

JFK vs. Obama!
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Cedarbird
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Reply #11 April 25, 2008 4:42:09 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Fifty views and ten comments. That's disappointing.
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Cedarbird
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Reply #12 April 25, 2008 8:43:01 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Buffy vs. River (Serenity)

I'm going to have to say River on this one.  If she went all Miranda on Buffy, it wouldn't be a fair contest.

The Winchester brothers of Supernatural vs. The Buffy gang (minus Buffy, of course, because Buffy could kill them)

I'd like to say the Buffy gang because I think the Winchester boys are pretenders anyway.

Ninja vs. Pirate

The discipline of martial arts against the anarchy of thieves.  Hmm, tough contest but I'd have to say the Ninja on account of all the extra weapons they seem to carry and their skills at jumping backwards up to higher places. 

Evil Dead zombies vs. Dawn of the Dead zombies vs. I am Legend zombies

I haven't seen 'I Am Legend' (although I have seen The Omega Man, so I'm familiar with the type of Zombies you're talking about).  But I'm going to have to add another to the equation: the Zombies from 28 Days Later.  Now those suckers are seriously scary and can move so quickly.

Angel vs. Dracula

Angel is a pussy compared to the Count.  It is no contest, as far as I'm concerned.

Astronaut vs. Caveman.

Caveman all the way.  Astronauts would immediately be inhibited by their puffy suits anyway.

Joss Whedon's shows vs. Gilmore Girls?

Definitely Joss Whedon, although I must admit to not having watched much Gilmore Girls. 

This was fun

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Cedarbird
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Reply #13 April 25, 2008 9:10:37 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I'd like to say the Buffy gang because I think the Winchester boys are pretenders anyway.


mmmm...without Buffy, though? The Winchesters would take them out!

Angel is a pussy compared to the Count.


But have you ever read Dracula? A bunch of English gentlemen take him out. If they could do it, Angel would not have a problem at all. Especially if he was Angelus.

This was fun


Thanks.
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Cedarbird
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Reply #14 April 26, 2008 12:30:21 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I'd like to say the Buffy gang because I think the Winchester boys are pretenders anyway.


Yeah...not like the REAL zombies and vampires, huh!

How about Waylon vs Willie? Ventures vs Shadows? Beach Boys vs Jan and Dean? Temptations vs Four Tops? Michael Jordan vs Lebron James? James Brown vs Al Martino? Jim Brown vs Larry Czonka? TW vs LW? Butter vs Margarine? GTO vs any other muscle car of the 60s ? This could go on for a WHILE...
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Reply #15 April 26, 2008 12:47:28 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
This could go on for a WHILE...


That's the plan...


However, I don't know 90% of what you just mentioned. Though if TW vs. LW means what I think it means...

LW would win in terms of verbal abuse,
TW would win in terms of sweetness.
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Reply #16 April 26, 2008 2:43:16 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

The Winchesters would take them out

They're dumb as a box of bricks.  I figure the Buffy gang would figure out some simple trap and the Winchester boys would go off half-cocked (pun intended) and walk straight into it.

A bunch of English gentlemen take him out.

Yes, during the day when he was asleep.  Awake and ready to rumble, Drac would kick Angel's butt IMO.

Yeah...not like the REAL zombies and vampires,

Erm, you mean they don't exist?  Oh, you've just shattered all my fantasies...

GTO vs any other muscle car of the 60s ?

Hmm, I wonder how a Goat would go against a Dodge Daytona or a Shelby Cobra.  It is definitely a race (or two) I wouldn't mind seeing.

TW vs LW would be a tough contest.  If I were a betting man, I'd say it would be an even money bet.

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Reply #17 April 26, 2008 11:16:41 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Bird girl:
However, I don't know 90% of what you just mentioned.


Therein lies the whole enchilada...I didn't know 98% of the contests you listed, so I listed my own.

As for TW vs LW...I really don't want to see people I care about fighting...but no guy can resist the fantasy images of a good cat fight.
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Reply #18 April 26, 2008 11:44:47 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I haven't seen 'I Am Legend' (although I have seen The Omega Man, so I'm familiar with the type of Zombies you're talking about). But I'm going to have to add another to the equation: the Zombies from 28 Days Later. Now those suckers are seriously scary and can move so quickly.


The 28 Days Later zombies would eat us all. Even most of the other people listed.

Even the ninjas.

Although I think that Buff and River, in an awesome team of epic proportions, could win.

Now THAT'S a team-up I'd like to see! (Fantasy time )
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Reply #19 April 26, 2008 12:12:07 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Although I think that Buff and River, in an awesome team of epic proportions, could win.

Now THAT'S a team-up I'd like to see! (Fantasy time )


Helps that they're both hot, doesn't it?

Buff and River, together, could kill the world. Good thing they're both good guys and will never meet.
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Reply #20 April 26, 2008 6:31:29 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
After careful review, my revised thoughts on the Buff/River dilemma.

A)Summer Glau is hotter than SMG. Barely. But still.

Serenity River would not only kill Buff, but she would do it with the Buff's own scythe. Messily. With lots of drippy drippy blood.

So, yeah.
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Reply #21 April 26, 2008 6:38:40 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Why is this a debate?

I would win.
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Cedarbird
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Reply #22 April 26, 2008 6:40:42 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
LOL, LW would whoop my pansy ass.

I agree with Maso about the 28 Days Later zombies.
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Reply #23 April 26, 2008 6:44:53 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
LOL, LW would whoop my pansy ass. I agree with Maso about the 28 Days Later zombies.


When I first started watching 28 weeks later (the sequel), someone tricked me and told me it wasn't a horror flick, that it was a sci-fi survivalist kind of thing. Oh man. I almost crapped my pants.
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Reply #24 April 26, 2008 6:58:26 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
28 Weeks Later was really good too.
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Cedarbird
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Reply #25 April 26, 2008 7:57:46 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Serenity River would not only kill Buff, but she would do it with the Buff's own scythe. Messily. With lots of drippy drippy blood.


What's this? You correct yourself and agree with your little sister?! We must mark this momentous occasion!

LOL, LW would whoop my pansy ass.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHA!!!!!

That's really good natured of you.


I've never seen 28 Days or Weeks Later.

Oh, by the way, Maso...I saw your comment to me on that other blog, but I couldn't comment back, so here goes. I know I gave him a lot of points, but I don't really care about the points thing, and it was WAY too fun to pass up. I'm just hoping that him telling people not to read past the first page will make them do it, anyway.

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