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psyche5297

Join Date 07/2004

tipping your waitress

do it cheapskates!

For the last year I have been working as a waitress. I am getting ready to start graduate school in a few weeks, and I just have to get something off my chest. Is the concept of tipping your waitress (or waiter) that difficult to grasp??? Servers do NOT make minimum wage (in NC where I work, it is $2.13 an hour). I have had tables with bills over $100.00 run me to death for coke, bread, ranch, you name it they need it. And then they leave me $5.00. Five dollars!!! Five percent!!! I was their whipping girl for the hour they were in that restaurant! That doesn't cut it! 15% is a MINIMUM. If you get crappy service, yes leave a crappy tip. But some people have to make a living off this money. Are servers going to make mistakes, yes. But if they try to fix it or correct it, cut them a break. Maybe they're having a bad day. Your boss doesn't dock your pay if you have PMS or a headache! And remember, they just ring in and bring the food, they don't cook it. If someone burns your chicken, it isn't them!!! (they should offer to fix it, but beyond that it is out of their hands!)

If you do go out, don't tell your waitress that she did a fantastic job and then leave her 5%. You might as well slap her in the face. And don't snap your fingers or wave an empty glass at them. Chances are they see that you drank your entier 20 ounces of root beer in 3.5 seconds and are getting to your refill as soon as they get your bread and ranch dressing and salad and everything else you have demanded of them 3 minutes after you sat down! Oh, and if you can tell she is busy and not just slacking off, please tell her everything you need the FIRST time she asks. It really sucks having to run back and forth 5 times b/c someone can't tell you that they need more salad dressing and A-1 sauce in the same breath!!!

Thanks for listening, and remember-if you take care of your waitress ($$) she will remember and you will get exceptional service on your next visit! You tip like crap and keep coming back, don't expect to be treated well. Chances are you are going to end up wearing that root beer....

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I have never worked as a server/waitstaff but agree with you wholeheartedly. I once had a lover who did not believe in tipping - "...if they want more money, tell them to find a better job!" to which I would respond "If all of the servers decided to get different jobs, who would cart food and drink to your lazy a&& ?!"

All people in the service industry should be tipped. If people have a question or problem with the service they are receiving, they should discuss it with the person, it just may have been overlooked. Unfortunately, the customer is not always right.

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All people in the service industry should NOT be tipped. All people in the service industry should be paid sufficiently well by their employers that tipping your waitress or your cab driver becomes as ridiculous an idea as tipping your bank clerk or your newsagent.

Psyche, your fight should not be with your customers, but with your employer. Your employer is not paying you a fair wage, but makes you rely on arbitrary handouts from the people who already supply the profits to reward the people who do the work.

This is where a statutory minimum wage and a strong union makes all the difference.

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If servers were to be paid minimum wage and no tips..you would never go out to eat again from lack of service.
Just my 2 cents.

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If servers were to be paid minimum wage and no tips..you would never go out to eat again from lack of service.
Just my 2 cents.

I agree--because for all the jerks who aren't tipping, you've got people who are taking care of you, especially if you worked there for a while. One of the servers at the pub I worked in had been there for five years and was making $1000 a week and only working two shifts--not bad, eh? Good tippers make up for the idiots!

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In any restaurant in the country (with very very few exceptions) servers and bartenders rely on gratuity to make a living. Imagine how astronomically expensive eating out would be if every server had to be guaranteed $7.00 an hour (like the cooks and dishwashers). That money has to come from somewhere, and it is going to reflect in menu costs.
If I knew that my money was coming in, regardless of how I treated my tables, you better believe those jerks that need a million things at a billion different times would never receive them. Sure, I'd go by the table every once in a while, but what is the point? Heck, they may be spending $100, but I'm making my $7.00 an hour , paying my bills, so I don't need them.

And as far as getting a better job, some people are forced into this job by circumstance or it is an in-between thing until they do get life back on track. At least they aren't at home, eating potato chips and collecting unemployment. At least they are contributing, tax paying members of society!

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I consider 10% a minimum and 15% what I give for good service. My husband is a much bigger tipper than I am. But I usually just round up to whatever the next $5 increment is after the tip so its usually a bit higher than 10 or 15%. I have never waitressed but my sister worked at a chicken place that all the old people in town went to and she had people who left her a dime. She said it was better to just not leave anything then you can at least pretend that they just forgot but they were old and probably thorugh a dime was a good tip. Anyway she is a big tipper because she had to live through it.

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Sorry, the word "tips" originally meant "to insure proper service". Mediocre service deserves little tip (certainly NOT a 15% MINIMUM, as you suggest).

Frankly, my tips range from 10-20% (although I have a dollar minimum tip) for acceptable service; I rarely go higher, nor, in fact, should I feel guilted into going higher, as I still must remain within my budget (here's a hint: 10% of a $50 meal is $5...10% of no meal is $0).

The idea of demanding higher wages from your customers is insulting and might be a good indicator you should find another line of work (here's a hint: for many of us, our hourly wage is our hourly wage. PERIOD. No extras for the Monday Night Football party, just what we and the boss agreed on). There are actually other lines of work available for unskilled labor (ask your boss to let you become a dishawasher, at least then you'll get minimum wage, since your tips apparently don't bring your pay up to minimum wage).

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If I knew that my money was coming in, regardless of how I treated my tables, you better believe those jerks that need a million things at a billion different times would never receive them.

And that is EXACTLY why you can't find better employment.

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All people in the service industry should be tipped. If people have a question or problem with the service they are receiving, they should discuss it with the person, it just may have been overlooked.

I disagree with this wholeheartedly. In an example I pointed out on another thread, I went to a buffet, the server took my drink order, and I never saw her again. I even had to go to the register to get my check; she never brought it out to me.

This is one of the VERY rare times I left no tip. There was no excuse for her lack of service.

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Not so ... you just need an APPROPRIATE minimum wage. It's all a matter of whether people in the service industry deserve to be treated with a modicum of human dignity, or are forced to live on hand-outs while their employers get fat on the proceeds of their efforts. The customers are NOT your enemy here ... it's your employers, who expect you to keep them in the lifestyles to which they are accustomed without rewarding you appropriately for your labours.

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By the way Gideon, the OED makes no reference to the word "tips" originally meaning "to insure proper service". Anyway, surely it should be 'To ENSURE proper service'. 'Teps', anyone?

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First, to Gideon. If you had fully read my original message I did say that 15% is a minimum for good service. I did say that if you recieve crappy service, leave a crappy (or no) tip. I am a server and I have left a bad tip for bad service. Also, you are making a lot of assumptions about my financial situation. I am actually the top server in the restaurant that I work at with the highest sales and check average. I never said that I wasn't making minimum wage. I actually make a comfortable living for a single college graduate (no kids) getting ready to start graduate school on a full scholarship. I am not Unskilled as you put it, but rather I am going back to school and all the jobs I interviewed for after graduation would not hire me because I was going back to school.

I do not expect higher wages from my guests. I do expect them to tip according to service, and 98% of the time my service is impeccable. As far as buffets, they are a different issue. I'm talking about restaurants where you depend on your server for everything you need. And I always treat my guests with courtesy and respect, even the jerks! I have at least a dozen regulars that will wait an extra hour on a Friday night just to sit in my section.

Second, to Furry. I never said the customers were my enemy, nor do I consider my managers my enemies. Maybe the owner of the company, but my managers don't exactly live the high life(25-30,00/year max). I have found that it is the CUSTOMERS, not the managers that often treat servers with out a "modicum of human dignity" as you put it. People need to remember that servers are not waiting on you alone. We often have 4 or 5 other tables who all want to be the center of our universe. I don't feel like I am living on handouts. When I go out to eat, it is because I want to have a good time, relax and have fun. So, if I have a server who makes my night out a little more enjoyable, shouldn't they be rewarded?

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the OED makes no reference to the word "tips" originally meaning "to insure proper service". Anyway, surely it should be 'To ENSURE proper service'. 'Teps', anyone?

What's more, I don't "tips" people, I "tip" people. "TIPS" equating to "To Insure Proper Service" is clearly a backronym. And a poor one at that.

Anyway, I am a fairly generous tipper. Unless something was clearly wrong, I will calculate 15% and round up. I have tipped $15 on a $35 bill when I received excellent service and I will often tip 20 to 25% when I see that the server is very busy but still manages to give me decent or better attention.

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Psyche, I think there is common ground here - the owner IS, ultimately, your employer. Your managers are, like you, working to keep them riding high on the hog's back.

I have lived in two countries (Australia, UK) where tipping your waiter / waitress is not the norm, and where, believe me, eating out is neither 'astronomically expensive' nor a dying practice.

I go back to my original point - if it is an expectation to tip your waiter / waitress, then why not your newsagent, boot repairer, bank clerk, personal trainer, greengrocer? These are all valuable service-based jobs that contribute to the employer's coffers. Consequently, it is the employer's responsibility to remunerate appropriately.

You should not be made to rely on the arbitrary hand-outs of others - that's like having to crawl for crumbs beneath the rich man's table. But bear in mind who it is that owns the table - don't hold the customer responsible just because they're more accessible a target.

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First, to citahellion, THANK YOU! You don't know how much a busy server appreciates a good tip when they are really busy and really making the effort to serve well.

Now, to Furry...
t sounds like you have a serious grudge against employers. I live in the USA, where tipping your waitress is a cultural norm. Our federal government has set the minimum wage for tipped employees at $2.13/hour. Here is the link to web site that proves it.

http://www.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm

If you read the site, you will see that $2.13/hour is all that the "rich men" are legally required to pay us if we make more than $30/month in tips. If our tips do not meet the minimum wage for non-tipped employees ($5.15/hour) the employer must make up the difference.

As I have said before, I make a decent living waiting tables. I am not "made to rely on the arbitrary hand-outs of other." In fact, our cultural customs dictate that the "handout" shouldn't be arbitrary--15% of the bill for good service. That is $15 on $100 check. What frustrates me is that in the United States, the custom is to tip. Especially for good service. I get annoyed with the people that will treat you like their personal servant for the 45 minutes to an hour they are at your table, then leave a crappy tip.

I suppose I could do like you suggest and take on those responsible (in this case the federal government who passed the laws), but I really doubt that my managers or the owner of the company are going to do much of anything. So for the next 11 days, until I leave my job for graduate school, I will put a smile on my face and give great service.

You should try waiting tables. It isn't as easy as you may think it is.

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Join Date 03/2001

+23

That doesn't cut it! 15% is a MINIMUM. If you get crappy service, yes leave a crappy tip.

Suppose customer is so poor he can't pay much more than price of going out to eat? That happens to me very often, when I get 10 or even $5 dollars for fun that month.

I don't believe in minim tip, or even worse, REQUIRED tip. I tip whatever I feel your service is worth, that $1 dollar tip may be my ENTIRE money for that month left after paying for the food.

In short, don't ever demand tips or give good service to only those that seems rich.

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Get personal if you have to, Psyche, but at least please make it relevant.

1) I do not have 'a serious grudge against employers', I was just pointing out where the profits go.
2) So the US federal government has set a minimum wage. I'm not suggesting you need to prove it to me, or to anybody else. I'm suggesting you QUESTION it.
3) 'You should try waiting tables. It isn't as easy as you may think it is.' I have, it's not, so what? (This sounds to me like a damned good reason for increasing the minimum wage.)

In your original posting, you argued that 'some people have to make a living off this money'. Yet now you claim that you 'make a decent living waiting tables', and you are 'not made to rely on the arbitrary hand-outs of others'. So what exactly are you complaining about?

Perhaps the answer is here: 'I could do like you suggest and take on those responsible (in this case the federal government who passed the laws), but I really doubt that my managers or the owner of the company are going to do much of anything.' ie. You can't make an impression on those responsible, so you're lashing out at your customers instead.

Get angry by all means Psyche, I'm sure you have good reason. But first work out who you should be angry WITH.

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Suppose customer is so poor he can't pay much more than price of going out to eat? That happens to me very often, when I get 10 or even $5 dollars for fun that month.

If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out. There are plenty of places where you can eat without tipping (Subway, Quiznos, Chipolte, Noodles), so don't go to a place where the servers are working for tips. The logic that it is ok to tip a $1 would be like your boss telling you that he is only going to pay you $1 this month because business was slow and he doesn't really have the money. If you can't afford the price of your meal plus the customary tip, DON'T GO TO THAT RESTAURANT.>

Furry: Yes, some servers make great money. Even if the Fed's increased the minimum wage, it couldn't match what some servers are making most evenings. However, you always have those evenings when people at like morons and tip $2 on $100. It doesn't send you out to seek welfare, but it is annoying. Is it worth taking it up with the Feds? No, because in the long run, you are doing fine. It is part of the American culture to tip. Contrary to what some people think, it is EXPECTED. In fact, in a lot of places if your party is over a certain number the server can simply add your gratuity to the check. My suggestion to everyone: If you don't tip, don't go back. Server's have long memories and they won't soon forget you.

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No wonder tips are required in some places now.

In your original posting, you argued that 'some people have to make a living off this money'. Yet now you claim that you 'make a decent living waiting tables', and you are 'not made to rely on the arbitrary hand-outs of others'. So what exactly are you complaining about?

Rude customers who don't tip? I'm sure she's not going to starve to death if a customer is completely rude to her and doesn't tip her, but it's the principle of the thing.

I think restaurants should apply a blacklisting policy to prevent bad customers who tip poorly or not at all from setting foot into their venues again. If possible, network this blacklist to other restaurants.

I guess that the same people who don't believe in tipping have absolutely no problem with bad servers or service people. After all, receiving bad service isn't going to do detrimental damage to them.

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Thank you shadesofgray! If you can't afford to tip, don't go out to a restaurant where you will have a server. And yes, we have great memories.

To furry: I have never said that all people are bad tippers. I do not "lash out"at my customers. They all receive good service, no matter what. Even those that are repeat bad tippers, I do not give them bad service. I just may not go back and check on them several times like I would to a known good tipper table. Yes, I may WANT to be rude, or spill a plate of food on them, but if I am rude to a table and they complain to the management, I can get suspended or fired. (In the year I have been doing this, I have NEVER had a single complaint). Then I would really be up a creek, so I bite my tounge and use my blog to get my frustrations out.

Exactly what I am complaining about is the people that are rude, treat you like their personal serving wench and then do not take care of you as well as you took care of them. I am not at work to be your personal B**ch, I am there to make money. Whether the system is fair or not, it is the system and the custom. So if you have a problem with the system, don't go out to eat where you will be expected to tip.

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Join Date 03/2001

+23

when I get 10 or even $5 dollars for fun that month.

That was exactly what I said, for fun. Where I go out to eat is entirely up to me.

plus the customary tip

Exactly. I don't belive in "customary tip". If I happen to have enough money, and service happens to be amazing, I could tip up to 25%.

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But what if the service happens to be amazing but you don't happen to have enough money? Why should your server have to penalized b/c you don't have enough money to tip them what they deserve.

Tipping shouldn't be an arbitrary thing. If you are going out to eat, make sure that you have enough just in case you happen to get amazing service.

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That was exactly what I said, for fun. Where I go out to eat is entirely up to me.

How much fun can it be knowing that when you leave, you are creating disappointment and disillusionment in your wake?
Of course where you go is up to you. You could go someplace you can't afford at all, and skip out on the bill entirely. Would that be fun?

If you don't believe in tipping, maybe you should tell your waitress that up front. Or maybe you should not go places where tipping is expected.

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Exactly. I don't belive in "customary tip". If I happen to have enough money, and service happens to be amazing, I could tip up to 25%.

I know what you mean. Sometimes I don't even have enough money to pay for the dinner. Makes one think that I should've planned ahead, eh?

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In this day and age, 18% is the minimum gratuity that should be given. All of you who think 15% is a good tip deserve spit in your food. A lot of servers, like me, are sending themselves through college without any help from family. Minimum wage for servers in NY is a little over 4 dollars. That along with 15% tips will maybe pay the gas it takes to drive to and fro. Moral: Don't be a cheap-O!

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