In my life I have: taken 14,443 showers, and 2,445 baths, eaten 46,678 meals, fallen off my bike 141 times, been pulled over 32 separate times, have received 4 speeding tickets, and have gone to jail once. I have had 1,221 picnics, eaten lobster 3 times and still don’t like it, traveled to 11 different countries, seen 362 different animals, owned 5 dogs, and one cat. I have seen 21 hamsters and gerbils perish, I have seen 2 snakes eat 3 of them, have slept in a trailer 45 times, I have fallen asleep in the bath room 27 times, eaten 123,476 grapes, 321 oranges, 5 star fruit, 2 coco nuts, and 1 thing someone called a banana sock. I have been in 3 auto accidents, seen 1,532 news stories about someone dying, and have intentionally punched 16 people in the face. I have cut my self shaving 211 times, fallen in the tub 4 times, never broken a bone, sprained my wrists 43 times, sprained my ankles 32 times, been stuck by 4 cars while on foot, played Australian rules football once, played 238 games of baseball, fired 28 guns in my life 1,401 times, stuck 15 objects with a car, stolen from 2 babies, ripped off 51 pairs of sunglasses, and fallen down 22 cliffs. I have been swimming 3,452 times, stolen one woman’s top off the beach, been punished by my parents 263 times, had 34 jugs of “burple”, eaten 2,877lbs. of cheese, kicked my sister in the face 3 times by accident, and have lost 2 fights and 543 arguments. I have kissed 109 girls, I have kissed 42 of them and enjoyed it, kissed 12 of them and meant it, thought I fell in love twice, and finally got it right the last time. I have had 8 of the 21 Basken Robins flavors, wrote 453 reports I didn’t want to, claimed 320 pay checks, been paid 780,992 dollars for my services, and logged 14,039 hours of video game time. I have wrote 3,974,325 words (at this point), driven 51 different cars, climbed 2,845,220 stairs, and flown 27 times, and traveled 152 mph on land. I have ridden a motor cycle 36 times, ridden a horse 20 times, rode a bike 4,543 times, rode a skateboard 344 times, rode my roller blades 3,621 times, and never ridden a mo-ped. Picked 1,110 flowers, given 901 of them to someone else, cut 45,678 acres of grass, and bought 723 flowers for others. I have watched 23,021 hours of TV, 10,245 of those hours were movies, have seen 33 of Kevin Bacons movies, and have cursed in front of 254 people that I shouldn’t have. I have consumed over 112 gallons of whiskey, 17 gallons of vodka, 476 gallons of beer, and 7 shots of tequila. I have told 2,489 lies, I have admitted to… I can’t remember how many. I have discovered 457,723 things, played 3,984 different games, made fun of 11,342 people, have gained 182 lbs. Scene birth, wished death upon the Smurfs 192 times, made 7,453,934 decisions, and scraped my knee 576 times. I have required 18 stitches, spent 305,323 dollars on someone else, made 1,734 promises, had my heart broken 3 times, offered up the rest of my life once, have been truly surprised 430 times, impressed 541 times, located one soul mate, and slipped while skating 134 times. I have required surgery once, I have had 2,342 bad dreams I could remember, had the same dream 12 times, sailed 13 different boats, and looked at every single woman wearing leopard print. 14,000 times to the date I have woken up and forgotten where I was for at least a minute, 2,900 times I have forgotten who I was. I have walked 2,754,342 miles, played with 1 snow tiger kitten, owned 768 tape cassettes, 230 CDs, and have lost almost all of them. I have slept in 3,870 times, been in a chemical state of mind 243 times, and done 541 things the state of Michigan, Florida, and Washington says I shouldn’t have. I have pissed of 7,650 people, and knew 112 of them. I have seen 4 family members die, and have lost 12 pets. I have fallen 6,754 feet, and have rammed my head into 45 different buildings. I have played 12 different sports, worn 78 pairs of shoes, eaten 111 things I was dared too and 9 things I was paid to, ridden 19 roller coasters. I have gone to 7 different schools, played 305 different video games, worked at 17 different jobs, and have heard the national anthem 354,069 times. Today I am 89,774,600 seconds, 1,496,243 minutes, 99,360 hours, 9,450 days, 1,260 weeks, 315 months, 26 years, 2.6 decades, and .26 of a century old. All this math is what has made what I am today. I have loved it so far. Join me for the rest?
-My Chi is counting along to the rhythm
Seabass
