Well I remember many things and of course we all do.Oce we do think back at some of the memories it might make us smile once more, cry some or just make us unhappy. Remembering the good, the sad, troublesome times in our life and what ever else you want to remember.
Today want to look at my life as a kid. It was disasterous, not always fun amd at times just plain miserable. I have over the years found that my mom really never did cherish me nor any of my siblings that much. She had to many and er brood were al different from night and day. I was the oldest but also the saddest as well. I really never had that opportunity to really tell her how my feelings were. It might of been clear to her really but then she might not of given any consideration at all. It was hell.
We were poor growing up and had very little. Hand me downs and clothes which were recycled from the Goodwill bin and other sources as well. It was plain difficult. Then our food was not that good at times and wonder why she would try to make us eat what we did. It was pathletic at times and not much else we could possibly do to make our lives more enjoyable. I never did have one happy day if i was in her domain let alone try to come to some form of understanding with her. Of course she had so much to contend with that it was hard to realize this until years later.
So it was to be. Not understanding why things did take place like they did nor if i was really happy with life in her household. I tried to kill myslef once but she thought it was funny and did not seem to care much at all. my siblings were about the same. Even today they can care less to what will take place in my life or if I am totally happy with what I have but then what more can be revealed. We lived in a housing project for poor or indignent individuals. Many times I was referred to as one who lived on the other side of the tracks and just be myslef. Indeed it was ok but who then cared. I guess this was how life was to be.
School was good for the time I spent there but even todaydo not see or even hear from any of my old clasmates. My principle was an old maid and a real pain in the ass. She was more like a witch yet informed her many times just how I felt about her and what it was that made me feel this way really. Her name was well ....... My teachers were great and liked a few of them. Even today still remmeber their names. Miss Traverse was grade 4 and a real sweetheart. She was older and not married as wellbut showed great care and much devotion to those she was charged with in developing more open minds and to expand our main developments in trying to learn what we had to learn. She also had the opportunity to teach several of us kids so it became very evident she played some role in developing us kids to make us more useful to the society in the future.
High school was even more difficult but those in which i had to encounter to get some form of an education were ok. My classmates were pains in the ass not really caring about me or anyone else at that point of time. A few of them ended up dead from various causes, a few died in Viet Nam and maybe one or two killed themselves which was no great loss to society. My hometown sucked really and there were fewer opportunities to grow as time went on so this may of been a contributing factor to those who decided to depart faster than a speeding bullet. Such was life really.
