Went to a drill meet in Amarillo today. We stayed overnight, and it was the best drill meet in my four years of JROTC.
Yesterday we stopped and explored Palo Duro Canyon before going to the hotel. Palo Duro is so beautiful, but pictures do it no justice, so I doubt a picture for this entry. We scaled the crumbling rocks and navigated around cacti to find a view that can only be called divine. The spectacle of atmospheric perspective turning red clay and rugged green into blue-purple majesty, breathtaking, formidable, incredibly real but so far away.
I spent this view with Tif, the girl that all my peers and teachers have proclaimed to be my likeness, down to the smallest detail. I was skeptical at the beginning of the year, having just become aware of my own individuality. But one tends to lose skepticism in the face of shared nightmares, fears, beliefs, and even physical traits. The last of the three has proven to be most striking on a lower, more mundane fashion. To look yourself in the face every day without ever being in front of a mirror is an amazing experience, and I am fortunate. This girl shall be one I will watch over time; I suspect something will come of our more than striking similarities.
Then today came, swift and unexpected as the mariachi music that blared on the radio alarm after only four hours of sleep. The beginning of the day was gray and cold, and drill team was hardly a place of fraternal bonds. But the day wore on, and after overcoming the obstacles of some missing equipment, we surprised ourselves with an outstanding performance. The drill sergeant asked if we had any takers for individual drill, and my team nominated me for two minutes of "winging it" at unarmed drill, performing routines on the spot, thinking on my feet, and generally making up beats. What came of this misadventure? The happiest two minutes of drill I have had in a long time, and one of the best memories of my senior year. Furthermore, the perfect ending to my last drill meet.
Perfect, but tempered with shame. After the meet, on the ride home, stupid teenage drama turned into a precarious medical situation. The battalion commander (I am the only one who outranks him) had broken the rules about hotel segregation between male and female, and thus our bus was segregated this morning into male and female. Kyle (the bn cdr) had the nerve to complain about this, and nobody else had the nerve to confront him except May, the new girl in JROTC who isn't afraid to stand up for what's right, regardless of the rank. I must make clear at this point that I was asleep throughout the incident. So May stands up to Kyle, and his pride is hurt. Denial becomes more than a river in Egypt, and May drops the conversation, seeing that she will not get an honorable response from the "leader" of the school's JROTC unit. While we stop for lunch, Kyle purchases a bunch of bananas, knowing that May has a serious medical reaction to the fruit. When she is trying to sleep on the bus (which I was achieving with no problem in my cranny in the back), Kyle then passes out the bananas to cadets seated around her. These cadets are guilty, too, as May's allergy is a known problem.
Upon awakening, I am confronted with a sobbing May, who is doing her best to understand why Kyle would be so mean. Upon forming up the teams to dismiss, I allow May to point out something she had written as soon as she recovered from the incident. It wasn't about the pain of a food allergy or the suffering she went through. It wasn't about vengeance or burning in hell. It was about stopping the cycle of senseless cruelty, starting now. It was about forgiving, and about doing what's right, not what's popular. I admire this new girl, she has much to offer. I called Kinder out and told him he should learn from this, in front of the formation. Our JROTC instructor promptly dismissed everyone and refused to acknowledge "the incident." This, this is where the shame comes in. Knowing that a teacher, a retired army officer, and an appreciated mentor, will slip so readily in a moral situation.
But this is a turning point, not a stumbling block, and Monday I will confront my instructor about this judgement lapse, demanding that punishment and new policies be dealt accordingly. Furthermore, I will act within my personal behavior to make sure that May knows she is welcome in JROTC, and that when one is a member of the unarmed team, one is protected, because team is family.
