Calvinopoly

While digging through some boxes to find something that never turned up, I found a forgotten treasure. It was a plastic baggie filled with all the pieces to a Monopoly game and box of flash cards. I knew exactly what I'd found as soon as I saw the baggie and pulled it out of the box and took it to my desk when I finally gave up my search for the original item.

During my first tour to Hawaii, I was single and lived in the barracks. Some of the other single Soldiers had created a game while they were at DLI and still played it there in Hawaii. They called it Calvinopoly and it was based on an old Calvin and Hobbes strip. Basically, it was just like regular Monopoly, but instead of the Chance and Community Chest cards, they made up their own cards. These cards were completely random and very often silly. The original version of the game eventually left Hawaii with the owner of the game.

When the division deployed to Haiti, we made our own version of Calvinopoly. Many of the cards were based on people we knew and worked with. Others were based on pop culture references of the time (mid 90's). Others were military related. And still others were completely random. We played the game at least once a week while we were deployed and continued to play it when we got back to Hawaii. Sometimes, we'd have dinner at one of our squad leader's house and then play late into the night (often while getting very drunk). At the end of the game, we'd usually have everyone make 2-3 more cards each, just to keep have new stuff for the next game. Sometimes we'd have an idea for a card and put it into play during the game (just write it up and slide it into the middle of the current pile).

Well, like I said, I pulled the baggie out of the box and once I got back to my desk, I read every single card in the baggie. It brought back a ton of memories.

I'll share a few here -

The Ranger Card - For the rest of the game, you must call everyone "Ranger". Every time you fail to call someone Ranger, run a lap around the building.

Left Step, March Card - Everyone must move one position to the left. Leave all money and properties behind and gain the new ones. The only thing you keep is your piece on the board.

Push ups for dollars Card - You will recieve $10 for every correctly performed push up. You have one minute to complete as many push ups as you can. The person to your right will count and grade you.

The Vampire Card - You are a vampire, until you go all the way around the board twice (back to the spot you are on now). To simulate your daytime slumberings, you can only roll and move every other turn. Also, you may not collect rent during the daytime turns.

Wrong way card - For two complete trips around the board, you must travel backwards. When you pass go, pay $200.

Judge, Jury, and Executioner Card - You may put any other player in jail for three turns. They may pay (bribe) you with $100 to get out of jail early.

Free Parking Card - Advance to free parking and collect all the cash.

Lose Those Houses, Jerky! Card/Tear Down Those Hotels, Sizzlechest! Card - Two separate cards of the same nature - all houses or hotels must be taken off the game board. No refunds on the lost cash. (There is also a Guido and Guido Brothers Card that allows you to put up houses/hotels at an extremely discounted rate)

Advance to Baltic Ave Card - Why should Boardwalk get all the love?

Big Brothers/Big Sisters Card - Adopt the player to your right. For the next two trips around the board, do not charge them rent when they land on your property. Pay half their rent when they land on someone else's property and share half your income with them when you recieve.

Last Place in the Beauty Contest Card - You took last place in a beauty contest. Pay all players $100 for having to look at your ugly mug.

There were tons more cards but this is getting long. You get the idea, I'm sure. If there's interest, I can include more in the comments later.

The usual penalty for messing something up (trying to roll during the daytime when you have the Vampire Card) was $100 to Free Parking. Additionally, we had buy outs for many of the cards. You could usually buy your way out of a card for $500, payable to free parking. Not all, though. Usually just the ones that were game long cards, like the Ranger Card. We usually wouldn't allow you to buy your way out of cards like the Left Step, March Card or the Get Rid of those Houses, Jerky! Card.

Obviously, this game is for people that just enjoy playing the game and don't really care so much for winning. Often, if someone got bankrupted early on, we'd just give them starting money and a few properties (often from the players with the most properties) so they could continue instead of sitting out and watching.

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