There are too many feelings. This will never be a blog for others to enjoy reading.
I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW.
I was daddy's girl once. Once when he was trying to make this work, when he came to terms with the fact that I wasn't a son and he was the only one around to raise me. Then I got older.
Now he pushes me down at every turn. He wants me to join the Army and ship out because they'll pay for my college. He told me he doesn't care what I do, just not to ever ask him for money for it. He doesn't care that I'm getting a job at the hospital, he won't speak to me. His girlfriend is more of a parent than he is.
The other night someone shot the driver side window out of my car. With a gun. Seriously. Nobody else on this street has problems with vandalism, but I get stuff shot at and I have previously had things beaten with baseball bats.
My friends are disappearing. I don't know where they are going, but I don't think it was me this time. I haven't told them about all this drama because it's not their business nor is it my place to bother them. If they ask me what's up, I'll tell them minor things. No need to fill everyone in on drama, right? Besides not being somber and dramatic, I've been rather quiet but upbeat. How in the hell does one lose friends over this?
My boss screams at me for paperwork I'm not responsible for doing. That's self explanatory, I would think.
Where does this crap come from?
Surely things will get better. Maybe I have caused some of this? All of these things don't happen spontaneously to one person. My name isn't Job. Surely I can fix it, right?
