I can't sleep...here's what's on my mind....
I really wish that my professional life had some clarity. What should I do? I was offered the job. I need to answer Monday at 10. I shouldn't have told my boss to call me on a Saturday. I'm so spastic and stupid like that....
I really dig the new hair cut. I'm growing it out a bit for the two weddings this summer. I think I might get highlights. I haven't played with color in a while. Maybe I need to go a shade darker, and then get highlights. My hair is such a basic color. It's dark brown, but not extremely dark. The lightest of the dark browns..per se.
I hear Hardin snoring...I want to be snoring, too. Curse falling asleep at 8:30 and waking up at 2.
I really hate fake people. I don't get it....how about honesty.
I have major trust issues. I find it hard to trust anyone.
Okay...I got sick right around the turn of the new year. I was diagnosed with bronchitis. I feel pretty good these days, but twice a day I have major coughing attacks. ...like coughing attacks where I can't breathe. It's pretty bad. Sometimes it makes me hurl. I realize this might be tmi...but it's really annoying. Sometimes I wonder if it might be related to asthma. Afterall, I was a smoker. That was probably the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life....become a smoker. Life as a non smoker has been wonderful. I just feel so much cleaner. I know no one really cares about my hygene, but I just feel 101010101 times better. ....besides this whole coughing spell thing. I can't even be around cigs anymore.
I hate the word trendy. I want to throw everything "trendy" into the ocean.
I hate poor parenting skills. I see it every day. Kids who think it's okay to walk all over you....or even worse...what some of these parents let their kids walk out of their house in. I really don't want to see an 11 year old's thong hanging out of their pants.
Why are so many women and some men so caught up with body image? I feel so inferior to the standards of beauty. Somedays I look in the mirror and love myself. Other days it's a struggle. Why am I always on a diet? Why is it that 70% of people i know are the same way? Why is it that almost every single one of my female friends and myself included have or has had an eating disorder? It's not like any of us are even close to being "fat." I really don't know what to blame it on. Sometimes I blame my family for saying how I used to be so tiny. Sometimes I blame society. But honestly, its completely my fault. I'm the one who has the power to filter the behavior. Why can't I just transcend all of this? Why can't my friends do the same?
I come across as cold and bitchy to many people. The truth is I am extremely sensitive. Infact, I am overly sensitive. i just hate for other people to see my weaknesses.
I am extrovertedly shy. Does this make sense to anyone else?
I feel like I am becoming basic. I had so many dreams, so many plans. But slowly, I am drifting away towards normalcy. I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. Is normalcy a word?
Maybe I should shut up and go watch Full House.
Peace out, scouts.
xxoo.
