I said this once before. Shove a finger where the sun don't shine and holler snakes. When it pops out grab it. Eewww!
That's disgusting... and the sun don't shine there with good reason. 
BTW, do you use Vaseline on your finger or do you use it unlubricated?
Another idea I had was waving something [like undies] with female pheremones in front of it.... but it was like: "At youre age? C'mon, who the hell do you think you're kidding?"
