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BlueDev
BlueDev
Join Date 12/2003
+16

Label me

January 30, 2006 7:44:04 PM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
White male.

For many people, that label alone is enough them to hate me. Sticking a label on someone, placing them in a box, and reducing them to less than human makes the antipathy much easier to swallow. Sadly, I speak from personal experience, having been guilty on more than one occasion of reducing a human to a simple label. I felt much better about hating them.

Fortunately, we are each multi-faceted beings. So if one label doesn't fit, we can use others. I have many myself:

Conservative
Religious
Mormon
American (thanks to BakerStreet!)
Closed-minded
Married
Husband
Heterosexual
Father
Breeder
Educated
Arrogant

Those are just a few of the many that easily apply to me. Each person could do the same, reducing who they are to a list of buzz words.

The truth is, of course, much more complex. But complexity requires effort and we are often loathe to expend that energy. And while I have abused labels, I have also been fortunate enough to see past some labels. Those times I have, more frequently than not, I have discovered some of my most rewarding relationships.



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BlueDev
JillUser
Join Date 11/2003
+17
Reply #1 January 30, 2006 8:08:34 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Is closed minded a label that has been given to you by others or a label you agree fits you?
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BlueDev
BlueDev
Join Date 12/2003
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Reply #2 January 30, 2006 8:19:16 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Is closed minded a label that has been given to you by others or a label you agree fits you?


Both.

I am the first to admit that I am closed minded. There are things I think are right, there are things I think are wrong. Period. There are things I believe to be true, there are things I believe to be false. Period.

That doesn't mean I condemn or reject someone who disagrees with me. I can accept people whose beliefs and morals are different from mine, but that doesn't mean I will accept those things as right or true.

I hope I made sense.
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BlueDev
dynamaso
Join Date 09/2004
+69
Reply #3 January 30, 2006 8:51:14 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Personally, I can't stand labels but I guess that makes me 'anti-label'

But seriously, the very idea of categorising individuals is, IMHO, assumptive and presumes a single template of behaviour, mindset or temperament is enough to 'know' how people think and what they believe. We are all individuals capable of change and growth at any point in our lives.
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BlueDev
JillUser
Join Date 11/2003
+17
Reply #4 January 30, 2006 8:55:00 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
No, it didn't make sense......just kiddin'

I think most people are more close minded than they will admit. I think by the time you become an adult you have already formed a lot of solid beliefs that you simply won't stray from. That doesn't mean that something that happens some day couldn't change your mind and prove otherwise. It just means you believe you are right until proven wrong. I can respect that.
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BlueDev
BlueDev
Join Date 12/2003
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Reply #5 January 30, 2006 8:58:09 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Personally, I can't stand labels but I guess that makes me 'anti-label'


I do too, which was, I suppose, the impetus for writing this article. Getting past the labels we toss around so easily is much more rewarding.

I think most people are more close minded than they will admit


I think you are right. I know I am.
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BlueDev
JillUser
Join Date 11/2003
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Reply #6 January 30, 2006 9:09:40 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Personally, I can't stand labels but I guess that makes me 'anti-label'


I think labels and stereotypes are unavoidable. They are tools used to generalize and are often very accurate for large numbers. Obviously they don't apply to all. Self proclaimed labels are useful also. They can serve as a warning to others. If I say I am a breeder (to use one of BlueDev's labels), than someone who believes that it is wrong to bring children into a world in the state that ours is in wouldn't waste my time or there's on courting me. You get into trouble when labeling others without getting to know them.
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BlueDev
BlueDev
Join Date 12/2003
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Reply #7 January 30, 2006 9:15:39 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
If I say I am a breeder (to use one of BlueDev's labels),


I can't claim that one. That one was applied to me by another here. But hey, I fit the bill.
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BlueDev
dynamaso
Join Date 09/2004
+69
Reply #8 January 30, 2006 9:22:23 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
You get into trouble when labeling others without getting to know them.


Absolutely, which is why I would rather not use any, even for myself. Labels, like appearances, can be completely deceiving.
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BlueDev
Stanton
Join Date 01/0001
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Reply #9 January 30, 2006 10:48:57 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Arrogant?? I don't think that word could ever be applied to you. Nobody who's truly arrogant would call themselves arrogant - it'd be a Catch-22
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BlueDev
ParaTed2k
Join Date 12/2004
+35
Reply #10 January 31, 2006 12:01:54 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Like everything else, labels have two sides.

You did a great job of covering the negative side of labels, but there is also a positive side. We often feel a kinship with those we share a label or two. We are both married, heterosexual males, which almost automatically means we can take off to a concert or something without our wives getting suspicious. We are both Mormon, which means that we have some basic spiritual and lifestyle standards in common.

While the labels can be the sides of the box, they can also be the flaps that open.

(((((( To paraphrase Frank Zappa: A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work if it's not open... But it is worthless if it is always open. ))))) ;~D
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BlueDev
bakerstreet
Join Date 03/2001
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Reply #11 January 31, 2006 2:04:28 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
You forgot American...
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BlueDev
BlueDev
Join Date 12/2003
+16
Reply #12 January 31, 2006 5:42:30 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Arrogant?? I don't think that word could ever be applied to you.


Thanks man. Actually, someone here called me arrogant just the other day, so I thought it fitting. . .

While the labels can be the sides of the box, they can also be the flaps that open.


Excellent point Ted. Thanks for contributing. I agree that labels can be helpful in some ways.

You forgot American...


I was writing this on my PocketPC in a conference this morning (real boring one!), so there are probably others I missed as well. Thanks for reminding me, I am actually going to edit the article and add that one in.
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BlueDev
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
+129
Reply #13 January 31, 2006 9:03:52 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Actually, someone here called me arrogant just the other day, so I thought it fitting. . .

I wonder who that was (walks away whistling).

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BlueDev
BlueDev
Join Date 12/2003
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Reply #14 January 31, 2006 12:55:37 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I wonder who that was (walks away whistling).


I can't imagine Doc. It made me chuckle. I couldn't help but think of an old saying. Something about a pot and a kettle. . .
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BlueDev
foreverserenity
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #15 January 31, 2006 2:12:46 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
But seriously, the very idea of categorising individuals is, IMHO, assumptive and presumes a single template of behaviour, mindset or temperament is enough to 'know' how people think and what they believe. We are all individuals capable of change and growth at any point in our lives.


Well said Maso! Well said - especially that last sentence!


It is unfortunate however that some people are carved from one "single template of behaviour" and "mindset" because it is all they know. Some don't want to be bothered with learning or aquiring new anything. It's their way, it's what they've been doing for upteenth years and it's all they know, and nothing you say will change their minds.







wonder who that was (walks away whistling).


I can't imagine Doc. It made me chuckle. I couldn't help but think of an old saying. Something about a pot and a kettle. .
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BlueDev
Tova7
Join Date 09/2005
+115
Reply #16 January 31, 2006 2:25:43 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I like categories.

The reason? It helps me be a better hostess, friend, etc.

For example, when I meet someone I would like to befriend, I will often say..."Republican? Conservative or Liberal? Faith? Kids? Married?"

Of course not all at once, I let them answer.

But it helps direct the conversation. IF the person has a real outgoing personality and likes to cut up and they are liberal, I might start with a joke poking fun at liberals...just to spice things up.

But its a great starting off point is MY point.

For instance if someone told me they were a breeder...ha...I would probably ask them if they wanted all the boxed up clothes in my attic!
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BlueDev
Gideon MacLeish
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #17 January 31, 2006 2:51:44 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Was it Keirkergaard or Dick van Patten who said "If you label me, you negate me?" (sorry, bluedev, couldn't resist!)

I find the "breeder" label hilarious (put upon us by contemptuous, militant homosexual elements), as 1) their retirement will be largely dependent on the contributions of the children who are the byproduct of "breeders"; 2) they, themselves, would not be here without "breeders"; and 3) a "breeder" would be interested in applying his genetic material to as many productive females as possible, thus would be either promiscuous, polygamous and/or polyandrous, or a regular contributor to a local sperm bank. While I have more than the number of average children, I meet none of the three categories described in section 3 and don't qualify.

But I digress...
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BlueDev
BlueDev
Join Date 12/2003
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Reply #18 January 31, 2006 4:41:28 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
While I have more than the number of average children, I meet none of the three categories described in section 3 and don't qualify.


Man, I hear you there. Thanks for the digression. I just think the breeder label is funny because it conjures up images of some sort of alien pod in my mind.

FS: Thanks the the comment and for stopping by!

Tova: I agree with what Ted said about labels, I suppose. I can see their utility, but only as a segue to find out more about who the person really is, and then view them as a whole, which is always greater than the sum of the parts.
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BlueDev
dynamaso
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #19 February 1, 2006 11:08:34 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Serenity:

Well said Maso! Well said - especially that last sentence!


Thanks very much...
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BlueDev
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #20 February 2, 2006 7:30:54 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

You did forget one of the most obvious, especially in light of your pen name.

Blue Devils fan!

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BlueDev
ParaTed2k
Join Date 12/2004
+35
Reply #21 February 2, 2006 8:04:36 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
The only Red~Headed, Blue~Eyed, Freckle~Faced, Left~Handed, Colorblind, Guitar Pickin', Harpoon Blowin', LDS, Wisconsin National Guard Retired, U.S. Army Vet on the net...

And sometimes it is ourselves who do the labelling. ;~D

~~~~~

Often what we do and wear labels us without even saying a word. We don't wear certain T-Shirts, hats and buttons just because we like the colors.

Uniforms label us (whether they are official or not). When I was in high school, a lot of people thought I smoked pot. Why? Because I wore concert T Shirts, old beat up blue jeans, and hung out with people who did.

I guess I could have complained about being labelled, but 1) I can't say I blame anyone for the assumption, since from all outward appearances, they were right and 2) I just didn't care. ;~D
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