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jlaur65
Join Date 12/2005
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The American Dream

January 7, 2006 10:49:31 PM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
The American Dream.
An ideal universe, where everything works out as planned, and life is simply perfect.
You work, you prosper.
Everyone wants to take hold of the American Dream. While the taditional view of the original American dream was simply monetary comfort, in the 50's, the Dream shifted to include another focus: the ideal family. The perfect husband and wife, who never fought, always smiling, and the perfect children, who always obeyed and always learned from their mistakes, were trying to be formed into a reality. People felt that they needed to meet this standard to finally be happy. Society changes with the time, and as time goes by, the details of the American Dream have changed. It no longer has a specific, one-size-fits-all definition. Instead, everybody has their own American Dream.
The only common factor: happiness.
Sometimes I'll just sit and think about my future, and what I want to do with my life. I dream about where I'll be in 10 years. Who I'll be with, what my life will be like... Then I realized, while I always sat and criticized this so-called "Dream", I was picturing my life according to the American Dream all along. I too want the American Dream. Does this make me naive, to hope that life will be wonderful? Or does it make me an optimist? Does it make me a hypocrite, to know that nothing will ever be perfect, but still dream that it will be?
Does the American Dream really exist?
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jlaur65
singrdave
Join Date 07/2004
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Reply #1 January 8, 2006 12:33:39 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Yes it does. Opportunity knocks all the time.

Beauty is where you find it.

Life is what you make it.

The "American Dream", however you want to define it, is achievable.
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jlaur65
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #2 January 8, 2006 4:56:56 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

You misspoke. The American dream did not change in the 50's and 60s  to be "they always listen'.  Indeed, if you watch the shows, they did not.  They just learned the first time after they made a mistake.

The American dream is not about family tho.  It is about Sucess.  i.e. you can be anything you want, all it takes is smarts and hard work.  This is contrary to feudalism Europe where you had to be born to noblesse oblige to succeed.

The dream you are talking about is a different dream.  And one still held, albeit not very well, by many people.  Stay at home parents.  It exists.  ANd indeed you can find it here on JU if you read some of them.

Hey!  I never had it as a child, but my Children had it!  Unfortunately, without 2 to make it happen, it is not a dream, it turns into a nightmare.

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jlaur65
jlaur65
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Reply #3 January 8, 2006 5:18:06 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
The American dream is not about family tho. It is about Sucess

the type of family i described was a form of success. if the home life wasn't great, it was a sign of failure. if they didn't have alot of money, they were failures. that's the way i percieved it anyway.
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jlaur65
Dr Guy
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Reply #4 January 8, 2006 5:28:14 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

the type of family i described was a form of success. if the home life wasn't great, it was a sign of failure. if they didn't have alot of money, they were failures. that's the way i percieved it anyway

You are young.  never perceive it that way!  Starting out, we are all poor!  We build wealth through life!  No one marries rich, and then gets poor!  We marry poor and then get wwealthy! (it takes a lot of time). yes there are Paris Hiltons.  But no one wants to be her!

We start out with nothing and work so that when our children are ready to leave the nest, they perceive us as wealthy!  Even tho we never perceive ourselves that way.

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jlaur65
Gideon MacLeish
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #5 January 8, 2006 5:33:14 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
the type of family i described was a form of success. if the home life wasn't great, it was a sign of failure. if they didn't have alot of money, they were failures. that's the way i percieved it anyway.


I don't see where you extrapolated "if they didn't have a lot of money, they were failures" from any of the TV shows of the 50's. Sure, they drove decent cars, but their homes were usually 1000 square foot or less, a standard that most current families scoff at as being inadequate to support their lifestyle with two children, despite the fact that families in the 50's did it with more (it was the baby boom, you know)?

If you want to achieve middle class success, there are some very simple rules. The first is to graduate high school. The second, only slightly less important, is to keep your pants zipped until you are married to a spouse who shares the same values as you do (not only can they be found, they're FAR more common than modern media would have you believe), and to STAY married, despite the fact that, over the course of your life, you will face various temptations that must be overcome for this to work. The third is to stay employed, working at a job for the best wage you can find, and giving your employer MORE than their money's worth. While this may mean holding down 2 jobs early on, if you start out with these rules in mind at the age of 18, stay away from self destructive behaviour and delay gratification on material items until you can pay cash for them (cinder block and lumber bookcases are your FRIEND!!!), you should be well on your way to a middle class existence before you hit the big 3-0. Add a college education in the interim and it's a virtual certainty.
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jlaur65
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Reply #6 January 8, 2006 9:07:10 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
don't see where you extrapolated "if they didn't have a lot of money, they were failures" from any of the TV shows of the 50's.


in an encyclopedia, it went on explaining the origins of "The American Dream" and all this other detailed info. and it said that wealth was success, and if people weren't wealthy, they were looked down upon as weaker, or failures. nothing to do with the 50's TV shows or families then. i didn't intend for there to be a relation there.

You are young. never perceive it that way!

i know i know. i don't believe that. i was just saying that maybe some people do...?
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jlaur65
jlaur65
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Reply #7 January 8, 2006 9:08:49 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
yes there are Paris Hiltons. But no one wants to be her!


oh and very true there!!!
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jlaur65
Texas Wahine
Join Date 08/2004
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Reply #8 January 8, 2006 9:38:05 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I don't think it's wrong or idealistic to dream of a traditional lifestyle.

We all find fulfillment in different ways, but I do know that what makes me most happy is being a mom to my sons and a wife to my husband. I am a nurturer by nature, and I know that this is my purpose. The other details (like money and what type of home we have and car we drive) are not as important to me.

As long as my family is together and I can love and care for them, I feel like I am living a wonderful dream.

Happiness is not difficult to grasp. It's not something you chase down so much as something you accept. Finding pleasure in the details, large and small, in my life, and loving others makes me happy. I can do that in a 400K home in the suburbs and I can do that in a duplex on a military base.

I thought this was a very interesting topic, jlaur65, and I don't think your observations and desires are naive at all. It's actually very forward-thinking for someone your age.
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jlaur65
HC1240
Join Date 02/2005
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Reply #9 January 9, 2006 9:25:29 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
TV, huh? You certainly didn't end up with June Cleaver for a mother, now, did ya!

You are such an intelligent, beautiful, motivated, grounded girl (not as in discipline grounding... hehe). I have no doubt that whatever you want out of life, you're going to get it. Be sure that first and foremost your desire is to continue walking with the Lord.. that you want what HE wants for you. That's a sure way to find true happiness... but more than that, joy.

I love you!

~Mama
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