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thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
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Taxi driver CONFESSIONS!

You can't handle the truth!!

November 29, 2005 3:47:20 AM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Damn, where do I start?


It's taken me quite a while, but I can finally sleep again.

I've lost a lot of sleep over the past few weeks for many reasons. Most of which I am barely beginning to comprehend, and some that I will never fully understand.

Although I'm not a superstitious man by nature, I have always believed that bad luck comes in threes. I have seen too many examples played out in real life numerous times to believe otherwise. Celebrity deaths, natural disasters, airline crashes... You name it. I also believe that it also works in threes when it comes to life's little "personal disasters" as well.

I've been getting a refresher course as of late.

Example #1:

If you have read any of my recent (and relatively few) articles lately, you are aware that I was a witness in a fatal hit-and-run accident back in October. I chased the suspect down in my taxi, got his license number and description, called 911, and returned to the scene after dropping off my fare. (She was a damn good sport about it just for the record)

Then the media got involved, chased me around and hung a hero sign around my neck.

Meanwhile, the victim (His name was Claude Williams) passed away from his injuries the next day, the cops apprehend the driver who was drunk and high on crack, and put him in the slammer. Turns out he's an illegal from Mexico. Anytime an illegal alien is arrested on a charge. INS puts a no-bail hold on them. The local police get their ducks in a row, and submit 2nd degree felony Vehicular Homicide charges, along with Hit and Run, Fleeing the Scene, and Cocaine possession charges with the District Attorneys office for formal filing.

Between my statement, my passengers statement, the dead body, a totaled Pontiac Sunfire, a twisted mountain bike, and the cocaine, you would think that the DA's office would see this as a slam dunk case right?

GUESS AGAIN!

These morons chose to file a 3rd degree felony Negligent Vehicular Homicide charge. Which in the State of Utah carries a penalty of 0 to 5 years in the State Prison.

A 0 to 5 usually means the perp will get out in as early as 18 months.

18 months. Why dont they just send his drunk crack-smokin' ass to community college instead? Its insane!

This assclown (click to read the charges on him)Link is going to get an 18 month vacation and a one way bus ticket back to fucking Tijuana, and he killed a guy. Literally a slap on the wrist. Most likely he will come right back again. God help him if he ever comes back and crosses my path. God may be merciful on him... But i wont be.

Two things bother me about this the most. The crime occurred in a poor neighborhood, and the victim was black. What do you wanna bet that if this had taken place in a upper-class white suburban Mormon neighborhood, and the victim was some rich guy. Or better yet... Some rich man's kid that the charges would have been much more serious?

Fucking racist bullshit is what it is! Murder is Murder folks. It should be punished equally. I am not saying this waste of skin should get the needle or anything. But 0 to 5 years is just not enough.

Human life is worth so much more. Claude Williams was a PERSON. He had a life, ambitions, hopes, and dreams just like the rest of us.

Except he's dead now.

He doesn't have the luxury of breathing anymore. He's in the ground now, not going to work and providing for his family, not enjoying a cold beer on a hot day, and not playing with his kids. Gone because some selfish prick decided to get shitfaced, and take his life away from him early one Monday morning in the streets of Salt Lake. What do you tell his family? I would have loved to seen the look on the DA's face when they told his family what the max penalty was.

l bet they went mental on him. I hope so at least.

Example #2:

About 10 days after the hit and run, I was getting ready for work. I had just fueled up Lucille (my pet name for my car) and was driving to the car wash to clean her up before work. When all of a sudden, A Mercedes SUV in the left lane (with her left turn signal on BTW) turns RIGHT. And smashes right into poor Lucille. Totalling her in the process.

Ok...Cut to the inside of the cab. Airbags fire. Dashboard explodes into a zillion pieces. Airbag propellant burning my lungs from the mini death-cloud it expels when deployed. Taxi radio flying by my head on a one way trip to parts unknown. I was lucky enough to get my right forearm in front of my face before the airbags deployed. But i still managed to burn the crap out of my arm in the process. It's better that than a busted nose. I manage to kick the driver door open after 3 or 4 attempts, get out of the taxi, and check on the other driver. Well, she was ok. But she started yelling at me like it was my fault! I kept thinking to myself... "How stupid is this lady? She caused the fucking accident!!" So I tell her we need to exchange info and wait for the cops. I start taking pictures and call our dispatcher (who likes to call me "the cab-killer" now) and inform him of the situation. Within 3 minutes taxis start coming out of nowhere. Not just from my company either...From our competitors as well. Word travels fast in the taxi driver network. People I have never met, coming to check and see if I was ok. That can humble you a little.

I asked one of our competitors how the hell he ended up there, and he said something that will stick with me for a long time. He told me that he had heard that it was me in the wreck, and that he knew he was the closest cab to the scene. Company affiliation meant shit to this guy. I havent seen him since, but someday I would like to run into him and tell him how much that truly meant to me.

I skipped work and got smashed.

Example #3:

Skip ahead to Halloween weekend. Saturday night in the not so big city. Parties everywhere, bars packed, Drunks with fat wads of cash in their pockets. Like the first day of hunting season for taxi drivers. I'm shuttling people all over town, and making extremely good money doing it. I stop at a local restaurant parking lot (Village Inn on 9th East & 4th South for Dev and ParaTed) to do some paperwork. I get a call to go pick up a big money fare for a crosstown ride.

Just as I put my hand on the shifter, two drunk-as-fuck frat boys jump in my cab and tell me to take them over to a rather questionable part of town. I politely tell them that I have been dispatched, and tell them I can get them a cab in less than 5 minutes. They tell me "No...YOU'RE going to take us!.We aren't getting out. You have to take us because we are already in the cab." I tell them again that I can get them another cab and that I have been dispatched, and that I cannot take them. Then they start getting all bent out of shape and saying "There's NO way you are getting us out of this cab!"

So that's when I "removed" them from the vehicle.

I walked around to the right passenger door and open it up...WHAM! I get punched in the face. So I grab this kid and smack his head into the side of the cab twice, breaking his jaw and knocking a couple of his bottom teeth out in the process. He hits the ground screaming like a little bitch. By that time his buddy gets out of the cab and tries to put me in a headlock from behind. So I reach around, get him by the back belt loop, stand up and throw him over my shoulder onto his back. Immediately followed by a knee to his sternum.

Broke it.

Right about this time the cops show up. One of which was involved in the hit and run a couple of weeks before.

He just looks at me and says "You just cant stay out of the shit... Can you?"

I politely said "No sir officer... Apparantly not!"

They let me walk and took the two idiots to the hospital, followed by one of them going to jail for an outstanding assault warrant.

It always happens in threes folks. I'll take the black eye and the satisfaction of knowing that the third shoe has finally dropped.


Thanks for reading,
thatoneguyinslc
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thatoneguyinslc
thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
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Reply #1 November 29, 2005 5:05:36 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
*BuMpEtYBuMp*
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AngelaMarie88
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Reply #2 November 29, 2005 6:29:45 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Holy cow, I had no idea there were bad people in Utah! It looks like you've seen 'em all.
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Reply #3 November 29, 2005 6:46:33 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Well, i never really met the assclown in question for the record...But I have to disagree with you here.
Salt Lake is a very good city to be a taxi driver in. Mostly tourists, business travelers, and a lot of normal people who drink way too much!
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Reply #4 November 29, 2005 6:49:21 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I also think it's fair to say that drunken frat boys are prevalent in most college towns as well
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AngelaMarie88
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Reply #5 November 29, 2005 7:05:01 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Ahh, I see. As long as you're not seeing the housewives misbehaving or the church-going family men goofing off, I still reserve high respect for the general populace of SLC.

drunken frat boys are prevalent in most college towns as well

true, true.


You sound like a tough taxi driver. Stay safe!
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Dr Guy
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Reply #6 November 29, 2005 7:57:52 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Well, your life has not been dull!  So did the woman get a ticket?  I hope so!  I have seen too many idiot drivers like that.
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terpfan1980
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Reply #7 November 29, 2005 8:42:59 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Interesting stories to say the least!
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ParaTed2k
Join Date 12/2004
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Reply #8 November 29, 2005 8:43:14 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I guess your triad is filled for awhile. Now it's safe for people to ride in your cab again. ;~D

Village Inn on 9th E & 4th S... ah the post concert memories! ;~D
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singrdave
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Reply #9 November 29, 2005 8:53:35 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I stop at a local restaurant parking lot (Village Inn on 9th East & 4th South for Dev and ParaTed)


For the record, I have eaten at that Village Inn a couple of times. Right at the base of the hill leading to the University and Foothill Blvd. Is the Training Table still there on 4th South too?
My wife went to Olympus HS and we lived there (in the neighborhood, not the school) for two years right before I joined the Army.
We were married in that big gray pointy building downtown.

Great tales of woe and carnage, BTW.
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dharmagrl
Join Date 02/2004
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Reply #10 November 29, 2005 9:03:48 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Wow, silky! You get a lot of action for a taxi driver, huh?! I think I'm going to start living vicariously though you!

I got hit in the face by a deploying air bag once. Luckily I didn't break anything, but the gases gave me minor airway burns. They're life savers (it was what saved mine) but they're dangerous too.
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Reply #11 November 29, 2005 5:11:45 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Well, your life has not been dull! So did the woman get a ticket? I hope so! I have seen too many idiot drivers like that.


That's an understatement Doc Guy....And no, she didn't get a ticket. But her insurance paid off the following monday. I pick up my new cab next week!

guess your triad is filled for awhile. Now it's safe for people to ride in your cab again. ;~DVillage Inn on 9th E & 4th S... ah the post concert memories!


Unless it starts raining anvils and grand pianos....I think i'm ok now Ted.... I have also spent many a post concert evening drinking coffee @ the 9th& 4th V.I. Ahhhh...Memories!

Interesting stories to say the least!


Thank god every night isn't like these ones Terp. For the most part i do enjoy doing it. I have met a lot of cool people, and rarely do they get out of line.
You would be suprised how many times a guy gets hit on by pretty girls while driving a hack...BONUS!

For the record, I have eaten at that Village Inn a couple of times. Right at the base of the hill leading to the University and Foothill Blvd. Is the Training Table still there on 4th South too?My wife went to Olympus HS and we lived there (in the neighborhood, not the school) for two years right before I joined the Army.We were married in that big gray pointy building downtown.


You are correct sir! The Training Table is still there (mmmmm Bleu Bacon Burger!) I actually live right by Olympus High School. It's about 4 blocks S.E. of where i live. (Siggard Drive)
And by gray building you mean the Hotel Monaco Right? :: Kiddin!


Wow, silky! You get a lot of action for a taxi driver, huh?! .


Uhm....Depends on what your definition of "Action" is my dear Dharma

I got hit in the face by a deploying air bag once. Luckily I didn't break anything, but the gases gave me minor airway burns. They're life savers (it was what saved mine) but they're dangerous too.


OW! RIght in the kisser eh? Those vapors are ruthless. Burned the airsacs in my lungs for three weeks. Then i got Bronchitis immediately afterwards. The reason why i brought my arm up is because my mom took an airbag to the face....She got a broken nose and two shiners for her troubles...
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Reply #12 November 29, 2005 5:19:55 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I have also spent many a post concert evening drinking coffee @ the 9th& 4th V.I. Ahhhh...Memories!


That was YOU? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone who you were with. ;~D
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Reply #13 November 29, 2005 5:22:54 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Quiet you fool! Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! ::
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dharmagrl
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Reply #14 November 29, 2005 5:30:20 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
OW! RIght in the kisser eh? Those vapors are ruthless. Burned the airsacs in my lungs for three weeks. Then i got Bronchitis immediately afterwards. The reason why i brought my arm up is because my mom took an airbag to the face....She got a broken nose and two shiners for her troubles...


Mine broke my knuckle, but that was all. I'm incredibly lucky to not have lost any teeth or busted my nose.....and had I not had an airbag, the blunt force trauma of the impact and the seatbelt would have killed me. Heck, it did enough damage even with the airbag.....so whilst I dislike them, I'd rather be alive and have minor airway burns than not.
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Dr Guy
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Reply #15 November 29, 2005 5:33:33 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

And no, she didn't get a ticket.

DAMN!  How about bamboo shoots under the fingernails?  Grrrrr!

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Reply #16 November 29, 2005 5:42:28 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
They do save lives....But the kick the crap out of you in the process Dharma..
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Reply #17 November 29, 2005 5:47:01 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Doc...I take pleasure in knowing there was over $20,000.00 damage to her Mercedes M Class... That bucket will never drive right again!
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Cordelia
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Reply #18 November 29, 2005 5:51:34 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Daaaang! That is some serious stuff! I must say, I was quite pleased to hear that you gave those 2 boys what-for when they tried to hijack your cab. I gave a little cheer. Now if only the woman who hit you could have been punished in some way...

Glad you are 'safe' and relatively unhurt.
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Reply #19 November 29, 2005 5:58:18 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Doc...I take pleasure in knowing there was over $20,000.00 damage to her Mercedes M Class... That bucket will never drive right again!

you are evil!  Better than bamboo shoots!

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Reply #20 November 29, 2005 7:36:15 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I was quite pleased to hear that you gave those 2 boys what-for when they tried to hijack your cab. I gave a little cheer.


I wish it wouldn't have come to that...I really do. But i refuse to back down when someone punches me in the face... They got what they deserved.

Now if only the woman who hit you could have been punished in some way...


$20,000.00 damage to a 50,000.00 SUV is punishment enough for me. Thanks Cordelia!

you are evil! Better than bamboo shoots!


I'm guessing good old Progressive either jacked her policy premiums, or cancelled her ass for pulling such a bonehead maneuver!
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Reply #21 November 29, 2005 9:05:20 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
My goodness, you have an interesting life! Haven't been around for awhile...What happened to your high-tech traveling job? Sounds like you have the makings of a weekly column...the trials and tribulations of the taxi guy...think about it...hahaha
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Reply #22 November 29, 2005 9:34:49 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I walked in and quit that gig back in june Melissa! Where u been?

The thought of a weekly is appealing, but since i have the attention span of a gnat lately....We will have to see. I do have a few really good stories.

BTW.... Nice talking to you again!
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Reply #23 November 29, 2005 10:34:53 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Been part of a project team opening large superstores for the last three months - even in your State...Riverdale, Utah as well as Phoenix and Oregon. Haven't had a lot of time to be online but now that I am home for awhile, I have time to catch up on interesting reading, which I always find your articles. Your humor keeps me chuckling! Are you working another tech job as well as the Taxi driving or is this your new calling....
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Reply #24 November 30, 2005 7:42:48 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
You were in Riverdale? My family founded (and abandoned) that offramp of a town! I wish that i would have known you were in the area. I would have bought you lunch!

It sounds as if you have been living my previous life lately... As for me? Well, I'm still doing contract stuff during the day...And prowling the streets of SLC at night. Mostly weekends and a couple of late night shifts.

And thank you for taking the time to say such nice things about such a horrible writer.

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foreverserenity
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #25 December 5, 2005 4:37:44 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Wow TOG, what a lot you've been up to these past days! I'm glad you've come out standing throughout it all. Your stories makes me glad my hubby doesn't drive a cab anymore. He used to in NY. I'm glad you can take care of yourself too....damn! I'm of the same superstition too, things comes in threes. A firm belief by my culture and it never fails to be true!
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