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Join Date 07/2004

I'm faking it....do you think they will know?

The world of self-taught neruosis

I am fairly motivated to learn how to do something so I don't have to pay for it. *a cheapskate*

For Example: I got a job as an orthodontist's assistant so I wouldn't have to pay for braces. The fact that I didn't know what I was doing didn't stop me....I just wrote up a very impressive sounding resume and convinced him to train me (so I could skip the 2 year school). Instead of paying for braces, I conned myself into a job that provided me with free training and certification, free braces and a paycheck.

Last year, my son went to preschool for free...well, not exactly, but I was more willing to give 2 massages a month to the owner than pay her. I'm a registered massage therapist.

When I started teaching yoga, it was just so I could get a free gym membership.

Are you seeing a pattern here?

I'm not one to try and sell my abilities and then pay for stuff (although that might be more profitable) and that's for several reasons. First, bartering is a laid back way of helping two people out. If you can't work one thing out...then you try something else. If you owe money...you owe money. Period. The second reason is almost more signifigant. I don't have faith that my abilities are worth paying for. I worry that one day I will be called out and exposed as a fraud.

I never had a college degree. I never had certified training before I started my job. I didn't train under a well reknowned yogi. I attended a pathetic Massage Therapy School (that was shut down) I don't think I would stand up under intense scrutiny if anyone started to question my background.

But once again, I have pulled the wool over someone's eyes and bartered for what I want. I attended a card making class at Stamp Salado Link. I commented that I wished there was a page on their website that showed what upcoming classes were going to be. That would be an incentive for me to drive out and pay $20 for a class. They confessed ignorance when it came to anything involving the "world wide web" (Yes, they actually said "the World Wide Web" in Caps) They didn't know how to change the page that someone had set up for them. Anyway, i offered to trade free classes for getting a webpage up for them.

Let's get this straight. I don't know anything about designing a webpage. I've played around occasionally, but I've never really "Learned" anything. I just picked up a few things here and there. No training. (I may be asking ya'll for help!)

I threw the idea out there and they bit. So I ended up designing a simple website...a few pages, simple template. Nothing big.

Then the agony starts (I always forget about this stage) The waiting to find out whether I will be caught and denounced as a fraud.....Is my yoga class to hard, too easy, too boring, Is the massage good enough, Can I design a webpage?...etc etc etc. But it paid off! They loved the idea and are excited to see what I can do for them!

Yippee! I'm still nervous, but hey, if they don't know I'm faking it....it's as good as a real one...right?

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That you wrote this article is an indicator, to me at least, of the real problem. YOU know, and there seems to be some guilt associated with it...or at least a sneaking suspicion that maybe there *ought* to be some guilt associated.

Don't get me wrong, I am totally not a believer that you have to have a degree from some accredited institution to be qualified to do something. But that really isn't the issue here. The issue is you're not being completely honest with people, and it's starting to feel like a pair of eyes staring at you. It is that...the eyes of your conscience.

Here are Ock's recommendations, take them or leave them

First: In the future, be honest and up front with people. You could have told the card making people "I know enough about the web to be dangerous, but I might be able to help you. *If* I can get you a new web page up, would it be worth free classes to you?" Here you have been honest and still bartered your real talent: Jack (or Jill) of all trades.

Second: Go back to the people you snowed before and tell them you have a confession to make, then make it. If you don't dig the dead bodies out of your closet, they'll reek forever.

Third: Go to http://www.htmlgoodies.com for some primers, tutorials, and other basic web page guidance. You've got a site to build

Good luck!

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I know you just a little, but I don't think that you've deceived these people outright. I don't even think that's what the article was about... not guilt. (I also don't think that you would've lied on your resume, just that you're probably adept at writing one, regardless of what others may have inferred.)

I think you're a little proud of what you've been able to do. Maybe that plays into your fears of being exposed as a 'fraud.'

But, you know what? If you were successful at these things... I think that makes you a non-fraud, don't you? You talk like there's a part of you that doesn't have confidence in your abilities, fearing of getting caught at not knowing what you're doing. I wonder if you know how much confidence it takes to put yourself out there and do what you've done.

I think you're a pretty competent lady, at least that's the impression I've gotten the times I've met you, and what I would expect from HW's wife.

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I also don't think that you would've lied on your resume, just that you're probably adept at writing one, regardless of what others may have inferred.)

I didn't lie on my resume. I was very honest and used lots of big words. Hey knew I had no training....After all, he is the one who trained and certified me.

In regards to the massage therapy thing, who cares where or how you learned to do that? If the customer is happy, massage away.

Exactly. I'm registered....but I still wonder if they will really like it. I've seen fantastic therapists get burned by an irate customer and I'm never sure if I'm good enough....especially if I am trading with another therapist!

You talk like there's a part of you that doesn't have confidence in your abilities, fearing of getting caught at not knowing what you're doing. I wonder if you know how much confidence it takes to put yourself out there and do what you've done.

I guess the feeling of fraud comes down to...I picked it up on my own so if they realize that, they could do the same and eliminate the middleman. so maybe you are right...

You're good at getting what you want, LH. Feel no guilt about it.

I think you're a pretty competent lady, at least that's the impression I've gotten the times I've met you, and what I would expect from HW's wife.

Thanks for the compliments guys. *Smile*

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I didn't post the link before cause...well, I figured that the high tech people here could do a better job and might ahem, sneer at my site. The idea was to keep it very simple....I'm not getting paid so I don't want to dump a ton of time into it. This was just a quick idea of what they could do.....
Link

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What separates you from others is that you get out there and take the bull by the horns. You show an aptitude to do anything you have a passion for (a hundred different things!), whereas most people are stuck thinking inside the box, working boring jobs, concentrating on just one thing, and paying retail price for everything. You've clearly broken the mold.

And your Stamp Salado page is informative. According to what you say, that site is much better than anything they had before. So I agree that you've earned your free classes.

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a little late in finding your blog. google search for Stamp Salado and there you are! *g* Anyhoo, they seem to NOT have a website anymore? UGH I'm in the Killeen area and want to go there - would be nice if they had a site and posted hours, classes etc.

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