Hey enigma, thanks for the comment. I'm not so worried about "religion" as I am with God. I'm worried about what He thinks, because religion is just a cliche word for legalism.

And no, I just turned 18... so I have a ways to go. Ugh.


~Sarah

No prob, yeah I feel the same way about "religion" in its organized form. It's good to realize that you have a ways to go, as Socrates said "I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance", it's a lot better than thinking you know everything and being naive.

"Wow, didn't I start out my adult life wonderfully?"

yah u have

it's good to try new things, and none of the things u did were self-destructive (unless u pick up smoking for the long-term, drinking is ok bcz i don't think u will be doing that to the point that u fall into a coma)

u r breaking up with ur boyfriend and some of ur friendships r changing on u, which is pretty normal, many relationships do not last forever and it is very rare and unnatural when they do. u may have dated ur boyfriend for 19 months but to expect to get anything out of ur first serious relationship would be ridiculous, and people change as they grow up, so of course some of ur friendships will change as u do

u act like u have committed some unforgiveable crime when u r just experiencing some parts of life that u have hitherto been unable to experience. even with ur religious background i don't think there is a reason to be upset over ur "lack of restraint," bcz u gain wisdom through life experiences... making "mistakes" (i say this from a religious point of view, i personally don't think smoking some cigs and downing a few beers with friends are mistakes) r what make u a better person bcz u learn from them or u gain insight from them. then when u tell ur children or whatever, "don't pick up a smoking habit, don't drink excessively," or whatever u will truly understand why u r telling them this and can explain to them better than u would if u were just reciting lines from a church pamphlet

don't be upset or anything, i mean that's just weird, ur bent out of shape over a bottle of vodka, some beer, and a pack of cigs, there are far far worse things in this world. have u dropped acid?? snorted coke??? failed school?? u don't give urself enough credit or leeway, for an 18 year old u r doing well on many levels.

u r still young, there is no reason to be so uptight about life. experiment and see things, i mean we live in a diverse world with diverse people who do diverse things, the best way way to become a well-rounded person, or from ur perspective, a better Christian, is to live a full life - that means try a lot of new things, know what losing a friend is like, etc.

Satan knows where to find you, but God's already there with you. 

Trinitie

Not only did you start out adult life wonderfully, you are right on course. What I mean is we all start off with big ideas and lofty ambition and the truth of the matter is everybody's got regret, mistakes, etc. Those are the things you learn from. You are now starting the process of becoming you. It's funny, but when you're a kid, the world wants to fit you into their little categories (so you can learn to be part of the human community), and for the most part, everyone conforms. Being an adult means questioning every idea you were raised with and really testing to see if that's what you really believe (then keep it) or it isn't (throw that idea away). Welcome to adulthood - it beats childhood hands down.
Congrats and watch your drinking! One only get one liver!