Today, in Washington, President Bush announced new appointments and nominees:
To replace Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, who has performed admirably during trying times, President Bush has decided to search for someone whose credentials cannot be questioned (at least by some). After an exhaustive search (of the Joe User forums), the President has decided to name a relative unknown, COL Gene, to replace Sec'ty Rumsfeld.
To become new Secretary of the Interior, President Bush has decided to nominate someone that has shown ardent dedication to protecting the environment, no matter how barren it may be. For that honor, again an exhaustive search of the Joe User forums were done, and dabe was chosen.
A new education secretary was needed, and in an effort to leave behind all of the old Moral Majority, Conservative Christian types, the President has decided to name none other than Myrrander to the post. The President has been assured that under Myrrander's guidance there will be absolutely none of that "Intelligent Design" crap taught in any classroom.
Finally, a new nominee was choosen for submission for the first available Judiciary opening. For that opening, the President has decided to name kingbee, who has demonstrated repeatedly an ability not to let the wishes of conservatives guide any legal decisions that may have to be made.
In announcing the news, several prominent doctors (who frequent Joe User) were over-come with chest pains. Those doctors were rushed off to see the medical staff that normally has been caring for Dick Cheney. Apparently they had a little time on their hands since Cheney's mechanical heart isn't due for replacement for another 50,000 executions or 3 more wars, whichever comes first.
Oh, it should be noted that all of these announcements were made under letter head that for some reason included big lettering saying:
APRIL FOOLS
