To start this off, this earned the guy a Darwin Award. No, this isn't the stapling one. It's far, far, worse.
~~~NWS from beyond this point!~~~
So, this guy and girl decide to have some fun outdoors. Not checking the weather, they head off to the top of a hill and start going at it like sharp knives, with her on top. That's important, actually. But, there's a thunderstorm brewing, and before you know it, ZAP!
She gets hit by lightning. The girl dies instantly, and the guy only gets knocked out. Unfortunately, the current melts their condom, fusing them together at the genitals. Yeah, ouch.
So eventually, he wakes up, vomits from the pain of melty genitals, and passes out again from same pain. Now, whatever he ate must have smelled good, because a passing bear was attracted to them, and says, "Hey! Free vomit and carrion!" And begins eating the deceased girl.
Again, he wakes up and is suitably freaked out even more. He begins crawling away, very feebly. He is then discovered by some passerby. But no, not just ANY passerby.
(This is the clincher, here. This next part makes the entire story worth it, especially if you have a vivid imagination.)
It turns out, that a Girl Scout troop was hiking nearby, and finds this mess. I'm going to repeat that, as it bears repeating.
A GIRL SCOUT TROOP.
Imagine that. Please.
So, they get him and what's left of the girl to a hospital. While he didn't die, he DID remove himself from the gene pool, since his penis wasn't... good after the surgery to seperate them. And that's the main point of a Darwin Award, after all. The removal from the gene pool part.
And there you have it! Google "Darwin Awards" to find more twisted shit.
