Gosh! How many more people can really get pissed at me? It seems like I can't have a friend without someone being pissed. I guess some people don't want me to have friends or something. I don't know.
I just wish people would take the blame for something they mad happen instead of blaming it all on three other people. I'm sick ofit. I will say that some of it could possibly be my fault, but not the whole freaking thing. I can't help who I like, and when I like them. It's called emotions and hormones. So I really can't help that I like Alex. It's just one of those feeling I've had for him when we went out.
See you have to understand that I felt the same exact way that you did Sam. When you and Alex started going out I was crushed, I felt the same way you felt now. But you didn't hear me bitch about it or even once blame one single person for the way things went. But there was one person I blamed, and that person was me.
So don't think I don't know how you feel. Because I know exactly how it feels. But you will get over it. I did, so I'm betting you could too.
Now I'm going to say that I think there is seriously something wrong with me. I haven't been able to sleep for the past week. I would say that I've had about 12hrs total. I haven't been eating either. I can not bring myself to eat. I've always been a pretty big eater, so this is not normal for me. It's not that I don't want to eat, but I just can't put any food down. I'm almost to the point of hydration. Most days I've went w/o anything to drink. I came home after school yesterday and forced myself to drink like six cups of water, and then some. I dunno, I can't even think straight.
And I'm not what so ever writing this so that people will pitty me or feel sorry for me. Because that is NOT what I want. I just feel that I need to express myself before I blow up.
Sam, you say that you don't know if you even have any friends or what not. Well lets just say I think sides have finally been taken. You make me feel that almost everyone is on your side. Lets see.....Andy, Sarah D, Alysha, Bobbi, and basically the whole freaking band. I think I'll that I've got are Stacey, Brittany Horn, Dairic, and Aaron. Now, I'm not really saying that these people have chosen sides, but it sure feels that way. All the people are always around you, there for you when you cry. But what about me.....ok maybe a person or two. I'm just sick of all the drama. Why can't we make it stop.
And I don't want people to take anybodies side. I don't want our friends to be in that position. No, definatly not. I don't even want to fight this. But if you want to continue to talk about me, well i can play that game too. But you know what, I'm not going to sink to that level. I don't recall saying you were a bitch or anything such as that. But I'm guessing that you think I'm a bitch and you hate my guts.
Oh, and no Alex and I aren't an "item".
~carebear~
