After the devestating loss in the November elections (Presidential..where Bush won) many in the mental illness medical field reported an influx of a type of depression among democrats who actually thought Kerry was going to win. This post-election malady was reported in many newspapers as well as medical publications. Some doctors and clinicians were alarmed and formed a response by offering group therapy and other individual therapies for the sore...sorely afflicted. With life speeding on as it has, we assume they're ok. We hope they feel better.
However, a new and more serious disturbance has been surfacing and again, the shrinks have been at work and have put together a publication that they say will quickly help. The problem is removing the bumper stickers from the windows and bumpers of the losing side's vehicles. For anyone that may not have heard, President Bush was re-elected for another four year term. Consequently, the opposition,s bumper stickers should be removed and newer, happier replacements applied...according to this new publication.
"It's driving me nuts!" shouts an obvious distraught Bess Fridtgett, featured in the accompanying DVD, as she kneels in front of her back bumper, a bumper plastered with anti-Bush, pro-Kerry sticky-rectangles. "I know that more than one out of every two people on my street are gleefuly watching and waiting for me to make my move. I don't know what I'm going to do."
Bess is just one of hundreds of thousands of folks who know it's over.. know it's time to get the 'friggin' things', off of their cars...but can't!
Thom Fulleri,a first time voter of East Boston, explains what it is like for him each morning pulling into his work's parking lot with his Kerry covered Caddilac Coupe.
"My boss shakes his head and ask me if I'd like some of the 'extra' extra-wide RED SOX WORLD CHAMPS' stickers he has in his desk. My co-workers are next up, and before the first hour goes by I've had offers of every kind of bumper sticker you could imagine. Patriots, Celtics, Bruins....even 'BUSH/CHENNY 04' bumper stickers, which I gather are in high demand. Maybe their being nice to me, I don't know. Maybe I should take them off. It wouldn't kill me. Maybe tonight".
These stories are being reported to mental health workers all around the country. Dr. Joost Yanketov of the Florida based 'Doctors Without Stickers' group likes to make light of his patients and advises them to just (or "JOOST") think of me.. and 'yank it off'.
"We cannot be living in these times 'stuck' in one defeat and expect to have victory, can we? advises Dr. Yanketov. " We need to make room for the 'next' defeat that is surely coming to these...I don't 'know what you want to call them here. In my country we call them 'lateschkraper'. Sticker removal begins at home, no?"
A young entreprenauer from Texas (of all places) has come up with a 'remedy..for the malady'..with his very clever 'demstickers- b- gone' spray. It is a slow working formula that will in a week or two turn an un-wanted political statement into forgotten history. The liquid will slowly seep through the paper part of the unwanted, unsightly, useless sticker and eat away the glue.
"One day you'll look for the dumb thing and it won't be there." claims Bushman Ontoppe, who has made a deal with the Florida doctors to make the stuff available, by prescription. "It's good medicine for all you mistaken folks".
For any of you out there that actually need this stuff it can be had at www.Bush Ontoppe/sticker/bgone//.gov..lov ya.
I know to many of you Bush supporters that this type of thing strikes you as childish or nonsensical. That might be. Remember, however, it might have been you. If there is someone in your neighbrhood or at your place of work with those useless, un-sightly and out of date 'Kerry/Edwards' or 'anti-Bush' stickers still clinging-on (the stickers) to their vehicles, remember you are 'compasionate conservatives' now. Don't ignore their problem as if it wasn't there. Go up and ask them "When y'all gonna get that crap off o' y'al's car?" It the 'RIGHT thing to do.' And tell them Jesus loves them. "
