Hey again.

This is my second (thats right... #2) posting on this site. Its 304 am. I'm kinda tired.

Today my friends left for college. Again. They did this in the fall too. Its second semester starting tomorrow for them. I dont start 'til next monday. Its weird watching your friends go away like this, but I've kinda grow out of it I guess after the first time. It really doesnt phase me much anymore. The other point being that they're all coming home next weekend might have somethign ot do with it. Oh well. I don't care all that much.

So..... My life. Lets get started.

Right now, I am 19, 5'11" and about 145 pounds. I have red hair, about five inches long and still growing, not cutting it 'til April. I have an eyebrow piercing, and both ears pierced. I'm not a very attractive person, atleast not in my mind, nor in the minds of many females. I used to be dating this one girl. We were friends for a while in high school, then about half way through Junior year, I asked her out. Already long story somewhat short- I dated her for a year and a half, and then she went away to school, now I'm after one of her friends. The Ex is actually okay with this. Shes had friends that do it before, actually, my friend Jim dated her, then I dated her right as Jim asked her friend Audra out. Now, I'm done with her, the her being Annemarie, or Anne for short, and I'm after her friend Amanda.

Now, lets talk about Amanda. Shes kinda short, but really cute for starters. Being a guy, this is one of the first things I go for. I'm not superficial, but its just that if I see someone that I find attractive, I'm more likely to talk to them, before I would talk to a less-attractive person, thats just how I am. ANYWAYS... Amanda. She's kinda short, but really cute, she has her nose pierced and... wow. It looks really good. She has like a dirty blonde hair color, but dont call it that infront of her... to her, its dishwater, not 'dirty'. She's quite smart too. Always in the advanced classes in High School, and honors this and AP that. I prolly should add that in High School she hated me because I was dating her friend, and she tried to get us to break up all the time. My friends and I used to think she was a lesbian because of her actions, but we (mostly me) now know better.
She hangs out with me all the time, mostly when her friends are away at school, and not so much over our recent break, because they were all home. I'm beginning to think that she's kind of a 'fair-weather' friend, only coming to me to do something when she has no one else, but I dont want to think that, and as I thought it in the past, she kept tellign me no, thats not how it was and that she really did enjoy doing things with me. So, I invited her tonight to hang out with my friend Alex and I and watch some movies, she had nothing better to do, so naturally, she accepted. Now heres the kicker... as she did tonight, along with many other nights, she sat and complained about how she has never had a boyfriend, and cant find a decent guy in this world, and is destined to be alone forever, and no guys find her attractive and shes not pretty, blah, blah, blah... Typical stuff. I just really hate that I sit there and hear all that, when I, right under her nose, enjoy her, find her attractive, and am willing to try and be the best guy to her. I'm willing to do alot for her, not just because I think shes cute, but because shes my friend.

I just don't know what to do. I want to ask her out, or atleast tell her somewhat of how I feel, but then again, I can't. Shes had guy friends in the past that have done that, and asked her out, and she's gotten weirded out and just not talked to them again. His name was Jordan. She had been friends with him for like three years, and all of the sudden she and he weren't always hanging out together anymore. He told her that he liked her and she said that she didn't think of him that way, and she'd call him to hang out again, and she never called. He calls her, and she doesnt pick up the phone. She hasn't talked to him since. So I have a good excuse to not know what to do about the situation.

Well now. Hows that for getting off track with my life story? I'll put more later. I'm starting to enjoy this journal type stuff. I think I might keep it up for a while longer than I though originally.

Peace.
--Joe