I think you are making defenders sound a whole lot better early game than they actually are.
In FE, they used to be able to hold their own every step from turn 1 to turn 300. You could make your first hero into one and it would be useful from the bear killing time all the way up to the Waerloga killing time.
In LH, they are as likely as not to die in both the early game and the late game. They aren't rock solid early and they aren't rock solid late either. For a class whose claim to fame is being rock solid, you would think it would be better than it is.
Except for dragon killing, defenders might as well be strictly worse than a trained unit doing the exact same thing every step. Too many times I have seen a crushing blow flat out kill a defender like it wasn't even standing there. If there is anything that is supposed to be able to handle that it's a defender.
I don't know. I guess I will drag one around next game and really baby it and see if it can redeem itself, but I am not going to get my hopes up. I've got a new strategy I am trying where I make my hero into a lower tree commander and then save a group slot to keep rotating upper tree commander henchmen through, retiring them after they max out the top row and adding a new one to the group. Exp goes OK with only 1 hero and with the exp line maxed out so a defender henchman should be able to get pretty high like that in one of the other slots.
Somehow, I don't think it will be any better in the space than any other unit I could be using there instead, though.
The thing that really gets me, though, is that I feel like I should be able to give good resists to the team with a defender, but it's at the far end of the wrong tree. That was never a problem in FE, but it certainly is in LH.
I think if I could wave a magic wand I would do the following (all or nothing):
Change Defender class name to Bard.
Take trainer and initiative from Commander and give to Bard.
Rename Commander to Trader.
Give Trader more stuff that is helpful with cities to replace what it gave up. Particularly something where it gains 1/1/1 exp per season so it can gain levels while sitting around in towns. Also, separate 1/1/1s for pretty much every resource. Gold, Research, Metals, Crystals, Mana, Horses, etc. That way if you are willing to invest effort into a trader you can ensure you have access to any resource, mitigating distribution problems.
Make Bard class all about giving army wide bonuses for combat. Exp, Magic Resist, Accuracy, Initiative, Dodge, etc. Beginning of tree, not end of tree.
Take group utility spells like Protection from Fire and Obscuring Mist from Mage and give to Bard.
Take all self only defensive stuff from Bard and give it to Warrior. Top line of Warrior would be offensive and bottom line would be defensive. Combine tiny offensive filler traits into single large traits to free up space and to make sure they have points to spend on the defensive line.