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Danny Bassette
Danny Bassette
Join Date 02/2003
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YABAS

yet another blog about something

December 7, 2004 2:54:07 AM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
       So it's been a few days since my last blog (which I felt was a bit weak but thats besides the point) and I'm thinking I should write another (and have had a few people hint that to me as well). I have various ideas, yet none of them are formed enough to share. So instead I'm going to try something different and ramble on about whatever I happen to ramble on about.
       I've been worried about Texas Wahine lately (and other people too but I'm naming her because I feel like it) and then things happened tonight (well technically it's tomorrow now so it was really last night but you get the idea) that made me even more worried. I was happily reading new articles and got to alison watkins A response to Texas Wahine's article. I read this and got somewhat concerned, so I popped over to Da Kine to see what there was to see. At the time the most recent article was from sometime in september (whereas now there is nothing to see, move along). So I refresh and another article (or two, I don't know) are gone. Well I can't speak for anyone else that might have been watching but I went from concerned (how can I help my friend who is having problems) to freaked out (who can I send to her house to make sure she isn't doing anything stupid) rather quickly. Now I won't claim to know everything that's been going on with Texas Wahine of late (besides her who could know), but I know enough (namely that she has been having a tough time of things) to be concerned and want to help. So dharmagrl posts an article that says what many people are thinking, Texas Wahine, where are you?. Jumping right to the end, iamheather and dharmagrl talked to Texas Wahine on the phone and were able to share with the rest of us that (as iamheather put it) "she is doing ok, not good but ok". Good would be good (of course), but ok is enough to keep me from panicking (I'll admit that I'm selfish that way, I don't like to be panicking about people). Now I can't speak for the rest of you (although I strongly suspect many of you share my thoughts on this matter) but I'm going to be offering what support I can to Texas Wahine. And on that note, this leads nicely into a mostly different topic...
       You have a blog (an assumption, but humor me on this one), I have a blog (obviously), it's what we do here. We say what we say on our blogs, and comment when we comment on others. All is good (hopefully at least). But then some of us decide for whatever reason we want to stop blogging. Not to name names, but in the past month or so I count six people who made that choice. Not all of them stuck to it (thats besides the point), but they stated that they were no longer going to blog. And I say that's there choice to make, it's their blog if they want to leave let them. Admitedly my opinion doesn't rule the world (as fun as that could be), but I am bothered by how some people reacted to these intent to leave. Some said things along the lines of 'miss you', 'enjoyed reading you', 'take care', and other pleasantness. A few stated they were glad the person in question was leaving, and that's ok too (as rude as it might be). What I think is not ok is when people tell someone they have to blog, that they can't leave because they need to read what that person writes. As flattering as that may be, it is not our place to force (or even attempt to force, guilt, whatever) someone else into blogging. At best it will leave an unpleasant feeling with their departure. At worse it will ruin friendships and/or convince them to stay and sour all their interactions with the community (both from the communities standpoint because they didn't leave as they said they would, and from the bloggers standpoint because they are staying not for themselves). So if someone says they want to leave, say what you will, but don't say they can't leave (at least until you start paying them to blog, that would change things). And should they change their mind, by all means welcome them back with open arms.
       Having rambled on about that I'll add a few addedums. Asking someone when their next article is coming out is fine, at least I think it's fine. It shows an enjoyment of their writing (which I've heard authors like) as well as concern about what they are doing. Good all around community stuff. And if someone is upset about blogging for whatever reason (like I was a few articles back, and others have been as well) it does not mean they are leaving, just that they are upset and expressing themselves (the difference hopefully makes sense). And while on the topic of community...
       We have many people here, and we gain new ones every day (or close enough to). Now I try to at least glance through just about everything that is written here (not commenting on if that is a good use of my time or not ). I don't comment everywhere (and there are various reasons for that) but I try to make a point to comment on the new peoples blogs. I was welcomed when I arrived, I make an effort to welcome others when they arrive. Do I greet everyone? No, I'm sure I miss some and others start blogging in a manner that leaves me not wanting to comment. But I make the effort, which is what I think is the important part. I'll also try and leave comments on some of the (apparently) less popular peoples blogs. Not to say there is anything wrong with being (or not) in the top ten (either by user or blog), but the lower ranked people seem to get fewer comments. Which isn't to say I'm not sincere in whatever comments I do leave, just that I will sometimes not leave a comment just because the persons blog is so popular. I'll pick on little_whip here as an example (I hope she doesn't mind). She writes great stuff, I look forward to reading whatever she writes, but I don't comment very often (leastwise I don't think I do, I could be mistaken) in part because of her high ranking. Right, and now I've manged to not only confusify myself, but completly lost my train of thought (choo choo) as well.
       With that, I think I'll stop. I don't like to write blogs that are too long (or too short), it bothers me so I don't do it. But I think I managed to produce a reasonable amount here, now I just need to actually write more often (or at least regularly). Maybe set a time to type every day... Ack, I didn't stop, must stop now before screen is covered with text.
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Danny Bassette
iamheather
Join Date 10/2001
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Reply #1 December 7, 2004 3:26:51 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Danny,

Interesting stream of conciousness writing style here. I like it and a departure for you.

I understand what you wrote about people leaving and not trying to guilt them into staying, but sometimes I think people write that they are leaving because they do not feel appreciated. Call it ego or whatever, but they want to know that they make a difference. I guess I should word my "please don't leave" comments differently. I would still be trying to affect their decision though. I don't know.

Glad you aren't upset I asked you to write.

I think that I read every article on here or at least peruse them. (ok more like click every article, skim, decide if interests me). I always try to at least say hi to new people as well. You and I run into each other a lot on other people's blogs because we both try to help the less popular blogs (for whatever reason). I will be honest though, if a blog is incoherent, I won't even try. I always comment on articles I like, whether that person's blog is popular or not. If I like it, I will say so. If I don't agree but find it interesting, I will say so. I guess I am just opinionated that way.
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Danny Bassette
Danny Bassette
Join Date 02/2003
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Reply #2 December 7, 2004 3:40:03 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Heather (is it ok to call you heather and not iamheather?):
       Glad you liked my style, it's how I think (or at least how I think I think). I know people want to be appreciated, but I feel that can be done without trying to make them to stay. I think the trick is to be honest about your feelings without coming across as trying to decide for them. Not easy if you really don't want them to go, but well, that's the challenge. Incoherent is one of the reasons I don't comment either, although there have been a few exceptions. Nothing wrong with you being opinionated, but I think I'm a lurker at heart
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Danny Bassette
Manopeace
Join Date 07/2004
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Reply #3 December 7, 2004 6:01:07 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Danny...it is very comforting to see that there are people here that really care about each other. We all have our ups and downs, and from what I've seen from your posts, you are genuinely there for anyone in the down mode.
Bless you!
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Danny Bassette
Cordelia
Join Date 07/2002
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Reply #4 December 7, 2004 9:51:42 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Danny - I am one of the bloggers that has a lower ranking, and I'm ok with that. I'm just not very prolific right now. I do read a lot of the blogs written here, and occasionally I'll comment. I haven't read all your blogs, but I have to say: I like you. I like your honest and open style, I like your unassuming comments on other blogs and I'm very glad you are here on JU.

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Danny Bassette
Danny Bassette
Join Date 02/2003
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Reply #5 December 7, 2004 12:12:44 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Manopeace: Thanks, I try
Cordelia: I'd like to have a lower ranking too, think we could swap And what I was trying to say wasn't about ranking, after all we couldn't all be in the top then. It's about everyone being a part of the community and feeling that they are read/belong, even those that post less often. And I'm glad you enjoy what I have to write
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Danny Bassette
Manopeace
Join Date 07/2004
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Reply #6 December 7, 2004 12:23:30 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Danny...Just let it be known that I am here for YOU as well if you ever need me.
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Danny Bassette
Danny Bassette
Join Date 02/2003
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Reply #7 December 7, 2004 1:15:00 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Thanks Manopeace Who knows, I might even take you up on that offer at some point
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Danny Bassette
foreverserenity
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #8 December 7, 2004 1:39:07 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
You make some valid points. I also like reading and have commented on some of your stuff, not all though. Blogging is such a curious thing, you get into it, I enjoy doing it and I enjoy reading what other people write, and if I liked the article, I'll comment on it. As for the long and run on comments, I can be guilty of that, sorry. Sometimes I go on and on because i think too much.. like now for example! Let me end here...
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Danny Bassette
Manopeace
Join Date 07/2004
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Reply #9 December 7, 2004 2:12:42 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Any time Danny....you will find my e mail addy at the top of my site.
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Danny Bassette
Danny Bassette
Join Date 02/2003
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Reply #10 December 7, 2004 3:38:27 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
foreverserenity:
       Glad you found my points valid. No reason you have to comment on all that I write (or anyone else writes for that matter). And nothing wrong with long run on comments
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Danny Bassette
Ravenblack
Join Date 07/2004
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Reply #11 December 8, 2004 4:25:52 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Danny, good article.

>> So if someone says they want to leave, say what you will, but don't say they can't leave (at least until you start paying them to blog, that would change things). And should they change their mind, by all means welcome them back with open arms.

Hm I was about to write something about that in the near future, but you've saved me the typing.
I don't think we should pressure people to stay if they want to leave or go away for a while to take care of things. I think it will stress them out even more if we continue making them feel bad for going off.
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Danny Bassette
Danny Bassette
Join Date 02/2003
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Reply #12 December 8, 2004 11:27:38 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Glad I saved you the effort Ravenblack
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