Yeah the empire tree 'bouncing' can be tough to deal with when fighting large fleet battles. I make sure to unpin virtually everything but even then it can be tough.
I'll try some more with micro. I practiced on a saved 'endgame' fight as Advent vs. Vasari AI on unfair / medium map with large fleets. I found no matter how I tried with stacking, even though I always won the battle ultimately, I always lost close to 400 logistics points of ships (3 caps + oodles of destras + 7-8 guardians). But when I assigned separate control groups for all ship species and unstacked and then microed I lost 1 cap (low level Radiance) and a total 210 points. So I am seeing how big a difference micro can be.
I wish shift-click on stacks had the 'desired' effect of FF in a sequence. Not only would it be much easier on the user but I personally think it seems more practical if I was an admiral issuing orders real-time in battle. Can you imagine the Admiral having to keep continuously repeating: "@!&^@, kill the subverters and overseers!!" Even better would be the Homeworld group attack protocol. Then you could spend the rest of the time managing cap ship abilities and making meta-level tactical changes.