I don’t like instant messaging.
Sure, it provides the convenience of the telephone in that I don’t have to wear
clothes, but like the telephone, it’s a small comfort eclipsed by many
irritations.
As with the phone, when I’m in a
conversation with somebody, it requires a chunk of my attention and time. It’s
great to talk to people, but I’d rather have conversations be occasional random
thoughts than entire scripts of dialog, but my friends on my contact lists
prefer the latter. Not to be mean, but I don’t want to give them much of my
time. I don’t want it either. I just want to IM people nonsensical questions,
which leads to the second issue I have with instant messaging.
Everybody I knew in the previous
years vanished. There are plenty of great people I recently met, but it’s hard
to transfer traditions to them. For example, I often IM my old friends random
questions about my pets, particularly the dachshund named Marge. If they do
return someday, the first words I’ll send them will be the following: “What
would you do if Marge was mooing and wouldn’t stop so I told her, ‘Shut the hell
up, bitch!’ but then she mooed at me so I started chasing her and the Benny Hill
theme played in the background?” I can’t do this with the people I know now.
They wouldn’t understand it.
Instant messaging does provide the
social benefit, which is my favorite aspect of the Internet since I hate to be
alone, but I also like keeping to myself. It’s why I prefer chat rooms. They
provide the same social aspect as instant messaging without the need for me to
participate.
So why do I keep instant messengers
on my systems? Well, I’m very anal-retentive, and it feels unnatural to change
the options on MSN Messenger or to remove iChat from the dock. Also, as with my
cell phone, it gives me instant access to people and vice versa should the need
ever arise. Besides, the chat rooms in which I participated are either gone or
inaccessible because the damn server now wants me to configure proxies. I either
must adjust to new chat rooms, which takes more time than I'm willing to give,
or rely on instant messengers to provide me with social ambience.
Instant messengers are necessary
but burdensome tools. I can’t wait until they’re obsolete.
