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JillUser
JillUser
Join Date 11/2003
+17

Good People Helping an Ill Neighbor

October 25, 2004 6:20:20 PM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

We live in such a wonderful neighborhood.  Every month I have been given new affirmation to why we moved here.  The most recent was a couple of minutes ago.  A neighbor was delivering the neighborhood directory that we ordered and mentioned that a fellow neighbor was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.  She asked if I knew the family and I didn't.  When I asked why she said she was asking around to see if neighbors would be willing to cook a meal for the family in the upcoming month when she would be having chemo.  I told her that not currently knowing her didn't prevent me from wanting to help.

This poor family has a 4yr old and a 6 month old.  The woman was just diagnosed and will begin chemotherapy in the next week or so.  I signed up to bring them dinner on 11/12.  I was very pleased that the calendar for Nov had already been almost filled by neighbors wanting to help.  That is the kind of wonderful people we have in our neighborhood.

I plan to call this neighbor in the upcoming days to see if I can help out in other ways.  Perhaps I can pick up groceries, watch the kids, vac the floors, whatever might be the thing that needs to be done and this poor family just won't have the time or energy to do it.  I can't imagine what they are going through and pray that I never have that experience myself.  I suspect I will have plenty of help if I do though.

I ask this, anyone who has gone through a drawn out illness, what are some things you would have loved to have someone, anyone come in and do?

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JillUser
dharmagrl
Join Date 02/2004
+3
Reply #1 October 25, 2004 6:39:41 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

After I was recovering from my accident last year our friends came grocery shopping with me and helped me put stuff away, shoveled snow from my driveway and sidewalk, walked my dog, and brought me meals in tupperware so that i could just grab one out of the fridge/freezer and re-heat it.

My neighbors, on the other hand, did nothing.  One of them (the morons that bred little morons?) stood there and watched me struggle to unload groceries out of the car and get them into the house.  I had my arm in a sling bound to my ribs, and I couldn't get the screen door open...and that asshole leant against the side of his truck and watched me. 

I wish I lived in your neighborhood!  It sounds like a wonderful place to live!

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JillUser
Manopeace
Join Date 07/2004
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Reply #2 October 26, 2004 6:47:41 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Great article Jill. I was recovering from surgery a few years ago and without neighbours like yourself I would not have made it back. Even a simple phone call to an ill person means the world to them; it shows that someone cares.
Bless you!
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JillUser
JillUser
Join Date 11/2003
+17
Reply #3 October 26, 2004 8:00:27 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

wish I lived in your neighborhood!
I wish you did too!!  It would be a more wonderful place with you on board Karen.


brought me meals in tupperware
Great idea!  I don't even know this family so I will call ahead and see what kinds of foods they like.


Mano, thanks for the kind words.  I lived in a different neighborhood when I had my babies and surgery.  My family and friends took very good care of me but I really didn't hear much from my neighbors at the time.  Although I did have a great neighbor from India who would plow my snow for me and some of the ladies in the neighborhood gave me a nice shower after I had our younger son.


I had a new neighbor when I broke my leg and she was really great.  She would call to see if there was anything she could get for me, she took the kids for me which saved me big time and, like you said, even just a phone call cheered me up and made me feel more comfortable knowing that someone just a couple of doors down could be there at any time to help if need be.


We have about 100 families in this neighborhood so I am hoping there will be enough people wanting to help that this family will feel like they can ask for help from each of us and noone will feel over burdened.  I am sure it will be hard to ask for help so close to the holidays but I am also sure that is when they will need it most.  I tend to feel that if everyone took care of people in their own life, i.e. family, friends and neighbors, we wouldn't have the social degeneration we have today.  We wouldn't need all of the government programs we have and everyone would be much happier because they are voluntarily helping.

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JillUser
Cosmic Fox
Join Date 04/2003
+4
Reply #4 October 26, 2004 8:12:16 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
This is simply wonderful to hear Jill. There are not many people who do this sort of thing anymore as they were when I was young. In fact in many places people generally ignore other in trouble or in need of help. It is sad but some will witness a crime like rape and walk away rather then help.

This gives me hope that maybe things are changing again to where we all care about one another as it should be. I live in Las Vegas now and finding a friendly neighbor is not easy. I think Boston Mass. was the only place I lived where the people are generally friendly can helpful in times of need. Though this was back in 1972-74 that I lived there I am sure things have changed there as well.

The times when people would get together and build barns, homes, put out a fire, etc were the best times of this country. IMHO.
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JillUser
Trudygolightly
Join Date 08/2004
+8
Reply #5 October 26, 2004 8:55:47 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Dear Jilluser: What a wonderful and caring community! and you're part of that! Odd for me to read this, in that while having my gallbladder taken out two weeks ago, the surgeon did three liver biopsies, as it didn't look good.......and I got the devastating news last Friday.....
So...I hope some of my neighbors, friends, and relatives will be able and want to "just pop in" and sit with me, maybe read me a selection of poetry. Washing a load of clothes would be a God send, as I'll probably go through a lot of changes of clothing..
While any offers of prepared meals, or household help would be such a kindness, mostly I would just want someone to sit with me, and not be afraid to hold my hand. Trudygolighty
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JillUser
JillUser
Join Date 11/2003
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Reply #6 October 26, 2004 9:32:37 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Trudy, I sure wish you were a neighbor of mine.  I hope your neighbors will realize what a difference they can make for you.


Best of wishes.

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JillUser
Insightful
Join Date 08/2004
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Reply #7 October 27, 2004 1:39:02 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Jill

You are truly a Saint. I only wish that there were more people like you in this world.
It bothers me that folks don't seem to care for one another as they once did in days past.
Neighbors don't even talk to one another over the back fence these days.

Dharmagrl,

Your neighbors suck, and should be ashamed of themselves.
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JillUser
dharmagrl
Join Date 02/2004
+3
Reply #8 October 27, 2004 2:10:13 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Dharmagrl,

Your neighbors suck, and should be ashamed of themselves.


They're not my neighbors anymore, thank goodness...my new neighbors have already made it clear that they're willing to help out next time dave gets deployed.


Jill, trudy's right about having someone to come and sit and keep company for a while.  That's really important....even in you only watch TV together, it's nice to have another human present to make you feel like you're not quite so alone.

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JillUser
JillUser
Join Date 11/2003
+17
Reply #9 October 28, 2004 10:31:44 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
it's nice to have another human present to make you feel like you're not quite so alone
I agree.  I remember feeling sorry for myself when I was alone in the hospital over night when I had my gall bladder surgery.  My husband had to go home to take care of our son once he knew I was in my room and doing fine.  At least I knew I would go home the next day and have friends and family to take care of me.  My heart just aches for those that don't have that kind of support.
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JillUser
JillUser
Join Date 11/2003
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Reply #10 October 28, 2004 10:34:55 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

You are truly a Saint
Not even close but thanks   I think empathy is something that is lacking today and I have been an empathetic person for as long as I can remember.  Maybe that is why I have had such a wonderful life filled with wonderful people.

At least we can reach out to JU friends through our blogs and lend emotionaly support from afar.  Sometimes that can make a world of difference.

Thanks all.  I just hope my neighbors and I can see our neighbor successfully through this ordeal.

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