Um, it hardly takes "3 million ships to kill a light frigate". Even 2 light frigates will do the job... and light frigates are toast when faced by bombers or LRMs. That said, this is a much slower paced game than most -- ships do tend to last a while, rather than die when you look at them.

To explain why, let me engage in some (unwarranted but oh so funny) sarcasm. ./gasp, a way to engage in tactics that doesn't require the game to be a clickfest, oh noes!

No, but that's besides the point. Battles are meant to take more than microsecond, so that you can use tactics and strategy. And I like it a lot.

it just feels unrealistic that this huge capital ship is releasing all its wrath upon a tiny space vessel, and its holding up pretty well.

Some day, maybe you should try having a cobalt solo a capitol, and take a look. By the time the cobalt dies, the capitol ship might have had its paint scratched. Maybe. Even 2 or 3 cobalts aren't going to so much as penetrate its shields before dying, except maybe at level one for a "weaker" capitol ship.

If it really bothers you, think about Stargate: SG1 where a smaller vessel would routinely engage larger vessels by dodging its opponents fire, while all its own would tend to hit. (Think that one episode, where they blew up a star using a stargate...)