Wow!

Ok, what I see here Gid, is a bunch of people who are hopping mad.  It's like you're just coming on per normal when we all know that what happened here was anything but normal.  They care about your family Gid. Nobody wants to think one of us here would be neglectful of small children.   Many here are living their nightmares all over again looking at those pics that LW posted. 

But even in their anger they are still trying to help you.  They are telling you that you can't just go on per usual.  I mean, what do you expect us to do?  They feel deceived Gid.   We trust each other here.  We trust that who we say we are.....we are. 

I'm all for you to start fresh right now.  I agree.  The past is the past and now you need to learn from your mistakes and NEVER go back to this way again. 

You say you want solutions?  Kelly gave you a good one.  You need to either leave the blogging world altogether or at best limit it drastically.  Set a time limit and stick to it.  As a fairly new blogger myself, I know there is no way in hell I could have done this with three kids at home.  No way. 

You also need to find an accountability partner at this new fellowship.  Someone that can be a true blue Paul to you.  Someone who is mature and well respected that you can trust.  THen you need to listen to him when he says the hard things.  You need to listen Gid.   You need to meet with him on a regular basis. 

Nobody needs you Gid like your wife and kids.  They need a husband and father.  There is nothing here that should ever take the place of what you have in your own home.  You need to make sure you carve out more time for them than you do blogging.  Journal your time if need be and take a look at where you're spending the majority of it.  Don't let your kids be writing blogs about their dysfuntional dad 10 years from now. 

It's not how you start a race that counts.........it's all in the finish.  Pick yourself up, do the right thing and focus on the things that are most important and get going.  If you don't you will be an old man looking back with nothing but regrets. 

If you're going to stick around here Gid, I for one would love to see how you are making changes in your life.  I would love to hear truthful stories about time spent with your kids and wife and how they are learning true family values.  I would love to hear that you have an accountability partner who is being the father figure you never had and that you are being submissive to his training. 

I would love to see changes in your life. I would love to encourage you on with these changes and pray for you as you go.  Otherwise we can only think and wonder if you ever really did make any change other than your address. 

 

 

 

Well, then go ahead and make a difference.

Start with treating people better, especially those you wronged (and that includes people who read your blog whom you lied to).

 

And that's the main "difference" I notice. You are now directly attacking people, doubting their faith, making sarcasting remarks about their spirituality.

Well, I happen to disagree with KFC about a lot of things, but she seems to be a better Christian than you are. Tova7, I have known her here on JU for a few years, is certainly a good representative of genuine Christianity.

Well, I hope that you meet more Christians like KFC, Tova, and SanChonino. Maybe that will finally convince you to do the right thing. You should also listen to KFC and participate in a local church more; invite people to your house, become a NORMAL family and use all the services the church offers to familes.

Instead you seem adamant about making more enemies at JU. What's the point? A blog community is not that important and although friendships made here can last for good, you are currently not making any.

Oh, and why shouldn't one pronounce your sin as greater than ones' own? You seem to be using the principle that one shouldn't judge others as an excuse not to show remorse, even attack those you wronged. That's certainly not the idea behind it.

 

 

Leauki,

I am responding directly to them. There's no love in their attacks, and they have made it QUITE clear they are not my friends. Zoo, for instance, doesn't want to see me turn things around. He wants to sip mai tais in heaven and watch me roast on a spit.

LW,

EIC only pays for the first TWO children. Just a little news flash for ya. And the max you can earn with EIC is something around $4400. And we didn't earn the max.



I would be happy to discuss these things with YOU, KFC, because I believe you care. I really, really don't want to discuss them with Tova who simply demands that I go away, or with zoo, who feels that he has the authority to speak for God and condemn me to Hell. In short, they won't be blog topics for that reason.



That's actually part of the rumor mill, LW. My children have ALWAYS had plenty of food, and yes, the occasional fast food mill. In fact, we have not once, but TWICE proven to CPS that there was more than ample food in our house. And no, it's not all beans and rice. To tell you the truth, macaroni and cheese and hot dogs are served FAR more often than beans and rice. Still a cheap meal, and one the kids love. And for breakfast, pancakes appear more than oatmeal. Again, cheap, again something the kids will eat their fill of.

As for clothes, they have plenty of clothes, in good repair, and clean. We have always had a good washer to wash them, and we do laundry every day. Yes, sometimes they looked dirty, but that had more to do with the fact that they play outside frequently, and that their play often involves a lot of dirt.

I'm not looking to excuse anything. I don't ask that you visit my blog, in fact, if you don't want to see me around JU, I'd frankly prefer that you don't. I write, though, because I have a boatload of ideas churcning through my head at any given time and I need someplace to express them.

There are reasons I didn't categorically address everything you said, LW, reasons that are far too deep to go into here. If you want me to shoulder the whole of your attacks and criticism, though, I am OK with that. I can do that. But there are a lot of assumptions being made that are completely untrue.

Take, for instance, the allegations of my keeping Amy a "virtual prisoner". The people who made that accusation KNOW that not to be true. They KNOW that I tried to make sure Amy got to attend every women's ministry function when we were going to their church, springing for a babysitter a couple of times so that she could enjoy herself when I had to work. They KNOW my kids went to the children's group and youth group functions, to VBS, and to family oriented community functions with the exception of the last six months or so when THEY didn't want to.

But see even as I type this, none of you will believe it BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE NOT TO. NONE of you has met me in person (that includes, by the way, TW. I have met her mother exactly ONCE, and none of you have spent any time getting to know me in person), and none of you are qualified to judge on anything other than the condition of our house when we left it.

I find it compelling that many of you feel I have no right to blog here, yet you feel you had every right to speak about me continually "behind my back" (while I'm sure you knew I would be looking at the forums, you didn't feel it was my right to respond).

Look, there was a time when I considered many of you friends, too, and some of you may still be. But it was you, Tova, specifically, who told me in no uncertain terms that you are NOT my friends, and that I should look elsewhere for friends. Why, then, should I care about your advice when you have made it clear that advice is not given out of ANY concern for me as a person?

I will agree that it can't be undone.

I would challenge you to be persistent. From my stand point of things I would be extremely pissed at you if you left my place that much of a wreck. It may take some time and continued effort to restore your name and rebuild some trust back.

How are the 'preventive measures' coming along? I believe you mentioned something about family cleaning day and time with dad. Any areas you would like some help idea generating?

This is primarily the reason I am drawn to JU. There are many with experience and wisdom in areas that I don't. I love a place to exchange ideas.

Plus I love a good debate.

So many of your comments smack of another prominent liar here. (one I believe even the great you have joined in on) The difference is his lies were easily uncovered and your web took time to crumble around you. I'd really like to give you the benefit of the doubt. I'd like to believe that you have moved on from your past. I just don't think I can force myself to do that, not that it matters to you.

You act as though it is us who aren't your friends anymore when in reality you were never our friend. Friends don't lie to each other. I could care less if all of the rest of the allegations are true. The condition you left that house in was damning enough. Remember, it was you who claimed that the city was after you for simply not cutting your grass when it was so much more than that.

I think the biggest problem I have with you is that I know your situation. I live in a rent house that is rented to me at $400 lower than the market price for rent in my area. I get that great rate because the owner is a friend of mine. What makes our situation so different is that I do what I can to take care of his house. We have plumbing issues. Instead of calling Roto-Router every time roots grow through the clay pipes, I dig up the yard and try to fix it myself. When the wax ring on the toilet failed, I went to Lowes and bought a new one and installed it myself.

I realize the value of what I am getting and I treat my friend/landlord with respect. I take care of his house like it was my own.

LW,

No, the fact is, we have never been "in trouble" with CPS. Not once. We have been investigated, but all it takes to be investigated is a phone call. We have never been charged with anything.

Our response to CPS the first time was a mistake, I admit that. I panicked and made a stupid decision, and we had to pay dearly for it. It was the first time I had ever dealt with them as a parent, and my response was one made out of prejudices I had from encounters with them as a child. This is why it's a decision I won't repeat. We responded to both CPS investigations while we were there in a timely manner, and CPS even interviewed these children that you insist are "failing to thrive".

I decided not to lean on you for help after you kept up with the stone throwing on your article. Frankly, Tova's right in one regard, and that's that I need to communicate with real life friends, not with online friends for assistance.

SC,

I have a life, thank you. Why don't you try just staying away from me? It shouldn't be that hard, really.

After seeing what LW wrote on her article and realizing the truth Gid, I am sadden to see you (or anyone for that matter) would do such a thing. I won't deny I am not perfect and my family has had it pretty hard (though I have seen much much worse) but even I wouldn't allow things to go this far.

This is disgraceful and you have the balls, after doing what you did, to return to this site and act as if you had no choice, as if bad luck somehow has a hold on you, as if you did everything you could, as if everyone else is stupid and you are the smart one. It's a shame that you actually find time to respond to this article. It's a shame your kids don't have their daddy their while he wastes his time responding to his mistakes in life. Just more proof of how screwed up this country is that they won't remove those children from your "care" (man I almost chocked saying that).

God forgive me for even those who are as screwed up as Gid need help. But Gid, do us all a favor, and your kids and hit the road. I'd rather have Col gene posting crap on this site than to see your name and be reminded that I am witnessing the destruction of 6 helpless lives at the hands of a selfish father who's not even home to care for them instead he's here responding to everyone and a mother that makes terrorist who train children to hate westerners look like people who care.

I am so furious I feel like passing this on to a news station to see if by chance they will put it on TV or at least their website just so the whole world knows what you have done. It's one things to be a screw up, it's another to screw not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but 6 lives and then spend time on this site making excuses for it. Unplanned child? Next time keep your dick in your pants and your wife should plug herself, better yet, cut your dick off, only real men have dicks (with the exception of gays).

God I'm so furious right now I could give you a beating that the Undertaker would be proud of. I'm off for a while. I need to get away from this, thanks for the info LW. We may not always cross each other in good terms, but there will always be a time when we stand on the same side with the same feelings.

Amen.

That wasn't my first article on return, Anthony, but thanks for playing!



Guilty until proven innocent, eh?

I have stated over and over again I had no problem with LW's original article. I have a problem with the lynch mentality that resulted, which took every bit of rumour as gospel truth.

Yes I have, actually, you just haven't read everything apparently.




I don't know how I prove a negative, LW. Especially a negative that deals with past events. In a court of law, I have the benefit of bringing in witnesses to testify; here, it's not so cut and dry.

You want me to unload? OK, the grease splatters in the kitchen. While we may have added to their number, it was quite splattered when we arrived. I honestly did not know there was a way to remove them without stripping the paint and repainting the kitchen, which would have involved shutting down the kitchen for some time.

Or I could tell you about how the house was half sided with shake shingles, with piles of shingles remaining out front. Unfortunately those shingles had rotted from sitting outside for several years, and everytime we tried to put a nail in one it split.

Or how about the pits full of garbage left by the previous family in the yard that we had to haul off? Seems a case of the pot calling the kettle black, at the very least.

One of the back doors was so overgrown with those quick growing "weed-trees" that we couldn't even see the back door when we arrived.

And the car left sitting in the yard could not be hauled off even when we tried to do so because of the angle of the yard. WE didn't leave that car there.

One of the rooms shown in the pictures was used for storage...our children were never even in that room except to get storage items out of there.

The toilet in the bathroom that you saw had a faulty valve when we arrived. It was so badly corroded we needed to replace the pipes that led into it. We never had the money to do so.

The sewer had problems with backing up. I don't know why, and by the time the problem got bad, we didn't have the money to repair it. The tub looked so bad because we were constantly plunging it, despite the fact we had snaked it and dropped every chemical known to man down the drain with little effect. We had to plunge for 5-10 minutes just to take a bath.

Because of the extreme generosity of Brandie's grandfather, I did not see fit to get into a battle of "he said, they said", but since you insist, hey, what the heck! You won't believe me, but hey, conflict's what you're all about, so let's get into it!

As for the allegations of feces encrusted diapers, my children's almost diaper rash free existence should put that to rest. Skin breakdown occurs VERY quickly when the body is constantly exposed to human waste, as any caregiver can attest.

The workers at Harvest House will tell you that when we needed help, we went to them. Their number can be found in any Pampa phone book, although they're probably not going to just give up personal information just like that.

We have also used Angel Food Ministries in the past.

I could give you transcripts from the college to show my successful completion of courses, and my tax records will show the hours I put in for Work Study with the college, as well as the hours put in with my former employer.

I did not have extensive experience in home maintenance, and the lack of time as well as high bills (gasoline, for one) did not leave me with many options for working on the home.

Moving cost us several times what we expected, as we had to take approximately seven trips up here before we arrived, with gas prices climbing and deposits substantially higher than what we expected. At the end of January, when I received my first paycheck from this job, we had $29 in the bank and $34 in rolled change. That was it.

I'm not excusing the actions for which I AM responsible, LW, but as I said, there's more to the story. There were many reasons I didn't get into it. But since you're going to sit there and continue to pound the issue, I guess I have to say something.

As for the cleanliness of the house as we were living in it, I will take full and complete responsibility for that. Ultimately poor leadership and support on my part caused the situation to reach the point that it did.

One of the positive changes this semester is that I don't have to travel for both work and school, so I have no reason not to be home between classes. This means making lunches, quick cleanups, and other projects are something I can do much easier.

We've made changes such as my cooking one meal a week with each of our oldest three and helping our five and three year old with lunch once a week, cleaning contests, and de-clutter days to manage things better. I still have a long way to go, but I AM working to correct the things that need to be corrected.

And FYI, the reason I am online is because it's a slow day at work and I have no homework due (spring break!)