Like any gamer of the FPS genre over the age of 22 I almost
always had Team Fortress installed on my old machines. Once I knew Valve was
making the next one I frothed at the mouth like a true fanboi would. Now that I
have the game I am like a kid in the candy store of “bam headshot” glee. However
with modern gaming comes along the modern gaming problems.
Why the game sucks: Most of the people that play it.
This is the very best compliment I can give an online game
that I know of. For instance World of Warcraft is a stellar game if it wasn’t
for most people that live there (not play, LIVE). In the case of TF2 you get
what I refer to the X-Box factor. Jackasses, children, and the verbally
challenged all talking at once and trying to kill each other.
One of my favorite things about WoW pvp is the inability to
trash talk each other properly. The most you can run into is /spit. However
with the right server options you can hear everyone talking including the other
side. Lets face it getting destroyed in combat might be fine until the twelve
year old voice screams “pwned!” in a voice that isn’t sure it is using the
right word or not. The only defense these children know is to lie about their
age but still do not realize that suggesting you are fifteen years old instead
of twelve is no defense at all. Like Halo on Xbox live I search for the game
with verbal communications that sound like real marines talking. That is why I
play on maybe three or four TF2 servers where I know they will kick those that
sound stupid, say stupid things, or just sound too young to hear us swear
properly. Trash talking is an art and just like TF2 it isn’t for everyone. The
F-bomb over and over only proves my point that you do in fact suck, and truly
are my bitch.
Other things are the random porn “tags”. I’m no prude but
this has been done to death. Some idiot sets his tag (a mark you can set to be
spray painted on the wall of the level) to some of the most vile things you
will ever see. Worse some have found ways to get animated tags in. Close ups of
what appears to be an industrial film covered in fur. Sometimes they are easy
to ignore till you play the sniper, zoom into the wrong place, and go blind.
With multiple classes comes multiple styles. The heavy was
the first child that Valve put together and it is with out question the easiest
to play. Grab a healer back pack and mow down all that stands before you till
the skilled player takes your head off. Scouts appear to be the twitch class as
they run insanely fast and while they carry a shot gun most scouts feel the bat
the weapon of choice. I like it for the BINK sound it makes. In between is every other
play style of snipers, rocket wielding soldiers, flame throwing pyros, cloak and
stab spies, and so on. The one class that many take advantage of is the
engineer. Building healing rearming stations, teleporters, and turrets all in
the name of murdering people at a more mathematical level someone that knows
what they are doing can really wrack up the points. They can also beat you to
death with a wrench.
Otherwise the game is great. It is a fast paced shooter that
doesn’t take itself seriously enough to be more than a great pastime. It’s
cartoony, accurate, and sits on the steam engine so you know it works. If it
wasn’t for the players and their player made levels (look up the Mario Kart
server, I kid you not. Fun for upwards of a minute) the game will be stellar. You
can redeem that issue with the fact that though they are very annoying you
always have the option to kill them…. Over and over.
-Alex
My Chi knocks in Sparta
