This is the best argument I have ever read on Gay marriages... I really like the last paragraph!
February 23, 2004
For the self-righteous: vow to quit meddling
By Beth Quinn
Times Herald-Record
I was going to leave the gay marriage issue alone just to save myself some
grief.
But then I thought, what fun would that be? Somebody's got to irritate the
self-righteous folks who tell the rest of us how to live, and it might as
well be me. You know who you are, so get your writing implements ready because
you'll want to damn me to hell by the time we're done here. For me, there is
one central question in the whole gay marriage controversy: What do you care?
What difference does it make in your own life if two gays or lesbians get
married?
It simply mystifies me that you feel threatened by this. What possible harm
could it do in your personal, little life whether the two guys living at the
end of your block say "I do"? I keep hearing the same pat answer from your
prophets of doom - that allowing homosexuals to marry will "destroy the
institution of marriage."
Well I gotta' tell you, a lot of gays and lesbians have been
getting married in San Francisco lately, and so far my own institution of
marriage is doing just fine. I checked. When I heard they were lining up for
licenses, I asked my husband if he felt our marriage was going downhill on
account of it. He just ignored the question and wanted to know what kind of perennials
I thought we should put in this spring. I took that as a good sign. Perennials
are an investment in the future, so I figure he's sticking around despite
what those homosexuals are doing.
So, self-righteous folks, I guess I'm wondering what's wrong with your own marriages that you feel so threatened by another couple's happiness. Are you unable to sustain a good sexual relationship,knowing that two gay guys are sleeping together in wedded bliss? Are you
unable to have an intimate conversation with your spouse because you're distracted by
the notion of two women going off on a honeymoon? Because if your marriage
is that unstable, you should stop worrying about what others are doing and tend
to your own problems before your divorce contributes to the decline of the
institution of marriage.
I've given this a lot of thought, and I've completely failed to come up with ways that gay marriage will have an impact on your life. It won't raise your taxes. It won't cause the kid who shovels your driveway to quit. It won't make your laundry dingy. It won't alter the weather. It won't cause your dog to start passing gas. It won't affect your relationship with
God.It won't cause you to develop a tumor on your head. Those of you who would
talk about grand concepts like society and institutions and pillars and
guideposts and moral fibers and whatnot, I say this is just your excuse for
meddling.
And history has shown us that nothing good ever comes of meddling in other
people's affairs. Every time Christians showed up to mess with heathens; for
example, we just ended up with a lot of unhappy heathens with syphilis and
smallpox. Those of you who would point out that the dictionary definition of
the word "marriage" involves a man and a woman, let me point out that the dictionary
is a living, breathing document that changes as word usage changes. If you
doubt it, look up the word "dot" in a current edition. We the people get to
decide what's in the dictionary. The dictionary doesn't get to dictate our societal
conventions.
Your hair isn't going to catch on fire if the definition of marriage is eventually changed to read, "two consenting adults" instead of "man and woman." As for the Bible, which is always the last refuge for those of you who want to impose your will on us savages, we're not all reading out of the same book. More fundamentally, the Bible is not a legal document. If it
were, those who fail to love one another would be rounded up and thrown in jail.
The prison budget would go through the roof what with all the new cells we'd be
needing for the neighbor haters.
I have only this advice to offer those of you who oppose gay marriage: Don't marry a homosexual. If you're a man and you don't want to marry another man, for crying out loud, stick to your guns! That would be a terrible idea. You'd be miserable! Same for women. Marry someone of the opposite sex if that's your personal preference. After all, no one's got
the right to meddle in your private affairs.
