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mignuna
mignuna
Join Date 01/2004
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something bit me

... no, that's not funny !

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September 11, 2004 11:58:04 AM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

In my garden today, something bit me right on the ass.

There I was, just minding my own business, when some vile bug launched its' nasty little teeth square into my left butt cheek.

Stunned, I threw myself around the garden in a frenzy, slapping my own ass trying to kill the perpetrator, and trampling the garden bed I had just planted in the process.

My husband, who has been rendered unflappable via many such a crisis involving nature and myself since we moved here, merely looked up and calmly asked what I was doing.

My reply was to fling off my remaining garden shoe and tear off towards the house whilst attempting to simultaneously pull down my pants and whack the bug on my ass.

And he didn't even follow me inside to see why I was doing that !. He just kept pestering a tree stump he was trying to pull out !.

Once safely inside, I removed from my underwear the very mangled remains of my assailant: a wasp.

My ass, (as well as could be viewed from the very undignified pose I assumed in order to study it in the mirror), was resplendent with no less than five wasp stings.

To add insult to injury, my husband chose the precise moment that I adopted this pose to enter the house.

(The poor guy. I'm not sure what one is supposed to assume when one's wife bolts into the house slapping herself on the backside and ripping her pants off, but I'm fairly certain he wasn't expecting to see me doubled over examining my own backside in the mirror).

He had to put calamine lotion on my ass !. I had to bend over in his face !. Yes, that might sound like fun, but when your butt feels like a dragon is breathing on it, nothing matters but relief !.

So next time you hear the expression 'you're not big enough to make any difference', take a lesson from my wasp and use whatever you have.

Only, make sure you have an escape route. .
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mignuna
chiprj
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #1 September 11, 2004 12:13:42 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
In my garden today, something bit me right on the ass.


Could it have been a hoe? Or, maybe it was a DINGO!!! (I may never let that one rest!)

slapping my own ass


Yeah!

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, you may say in the sub title that it's not funny, but it is! Hope you're feeling better soon!
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mignuna
XX
Join Date 03/2001
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Reply #2 September 11, 2004 12:44:18 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Sorry, but ! Remove a few words, and the meaning would have been very, very different!
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mignuna
Gideon MacLeish
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #3 September 11, 2004 1:00:30 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
(in best bad movie accent) "Maybe the dingo ate your ass!"
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mignuna
DylanZimmerman
Join Date 03/2004
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Reply #4 September 11, 2004 4:34:33 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Thanks Vanessa. This made me laugh, even today.


Dyl xx
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mignuna
dharmagrl
Join Date 02/2004
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Reply #5 September 11, 2004 5:06:22 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Miggy...I'm sorry you got bitten, but this was hilarious!  I had a visual of you running into the house, spanking yourself...OMG that was funny!


I think your hubby is a lot like mine.  He doesn't get freaked out over much either.  I swear I could be almost decapitated and he'd just tell me to 'stick a plaster on it, it'll be fine.'

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mignuna
mignuna
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #6 September 11, 2004 7:04:36 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Could it have been a hoe? Or, maybe it was a DINGO!!! (I may never let that one rest!)


or a gopher, chip. a gopher !!!!!

Yeah!


hehe

Sorry, you may say in the sub title that it's not funny, but it is! Hope you're feeling better soon!


thankyou chip. after an evening spent with a pillow under my butt, i am now feeling much better


Sorry, but ! Remove a few words, and the meaning would have been very, very different!


hehe XX, this is true !


(in best bad movie accent) "Maybe the dingo ate your ass!"


i think i may have preferred a dingo, gid, the pain was awful ! hehe


Thanks Vanessa. This made me laugh, even today.


i'm sorry you're feeling down, dyl chickie. i'm glad i could make you smile


Miggy...I'm sorry you got bitten, but this was hilarious! I had a visual of you running into the house, spanking yourself...OMG that was funny!


dharma, as you can imagine, the neighbours we of course all outside and had to see me spanking my own ass !. ha !.

I think your hubby is a lot like mine. He doesn't get freaked out over much either. I swear I could be almost decapitated and he'd just tell me to 'stick a plaster on it, it'll be fine.'


yep, phil and lonesome sound like they have some of the same err, 'qualities' !, dharma ! (ps: hi !)

vanesa/mig XX
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mignuna
The Crusaders
Join Date 08/2004
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Reply #7 September 11, 2004 8:24:52 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Mignuna,

I feel really bad that you got bitten....but the way you told your tale was hilarious!!!! Thankyou for sharing that ....now I have a visual image of you peering at your behind in the mirror....that will be a hard one to shake!!
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mignuna
Texas Wahine
Join Date 08/2004
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Reply #8 September 11, 2004 8:27:53 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I'm sorry that you were bitten . . . it sounds awful . . . but still . . . !!! You told this so well . . . and then the Dingo stuff . . . OMG . . . !!
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mignuna
mignuna
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #9 September 11, 2004 9:01:31 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
now I have a visual image of you peering at your behind in the mirror....that will be a hard one to shake!!


yes, crusaders, the visual on this is rather scary ! hehe

I'm sorry that you were bitten . . . it sounds awful . . . but still . . . !!! You told this so well . . . and then the Dingo stuff . . . OMG


thankyou, texas wahine. i can laugh at it now that my butt has recovered somewhat !


be grateful he didnt grab the camera!


or something else, sabrina ! hehe *saucy wink*


vanessa/mig XX
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mignuna
XX
Join Date 03/2001
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Reply #10 November 30, 2004 3:50:25 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Hmm someone bit you, that's for sure.
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mignuna
mignuna
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #11 December 1, 2004 2:22:10 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

oh XX, it's you. hooray !. i thought you were the spammer.


and i think it would take more than a few bites to explain me hehe.


mig XXX

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