Hey mig,
I'm answering your comment over here as I think the person who is involved in the whole debacle reads my blog. Hmph. Sorry to take up your comment space with my petty griping!
I don't think that advice is useless, I think that we're useless at taking advice. I would love to follow my heart, but it's trying to head in two different directions right now - self protection vs what it really wants. As such I kind of stand at the fork, stubbing my toe in the dirt, looking slightly lost and desolate.
Basically it has to do with a boy (doesn't it always) who I know in my heart of hearts has feelings for me. However he claims not to. I have fallen for him so badly. I tried not to, but now, after 9 months of telling myself I haven't it has become apparent that I have. I spoke to him about this ages ago and he said that he didn't have 'those feelings' for me, yet shows me that he does in a million other ways. I know that this may sound naive, but I am not looking for something that is not there - I can feel it.
So basically every time I see him as 'friends' I feel my little heart ripped out because he apparently doesn't reciprocate my feelings. I do love him as a friend as well, which is why it is going to be so hard to leave it all behind. He has been amazingly good to me since I've moved here, and he is the one person that I feel I have really vibed with. So by getting rid of him, I am losing a great, amazing friend as well. But by keeping him around I am perpetually miserable.
Urgh. I am such a whiny brat. Sorry! Thanks for listening. I hope you get some sleep soon!
Suz xxx