The Democratic Ticket for 2004:
Tonight the DNC will vote on who the presidential candidate will be. John Kerry will be the Candidate undoubtedly.
My Notes on the possible candidates:
Mr. John Kerry:
-French Looking
-Self-avowed War Criminal
-Flip-flopped from Anti-War status to “War Hero” status
-Vain (Got Botox injections)
-Shot a man crawling away on his hands and knees in the back
-Has won three purple hearts.
-Threw them back. Or did he???
-Ultra-Leftist voting record in Senate
Mr. Edwards:
-Too young looking (More botox???)
-”Girly Man”
-Everyone’s favorite type of guy: A Lawyer
My notes on other people:
Mrs. Teresa Heinz-Kerry
-Ketchup Heiress
-Liar
-Pennsylvanian (Not really a bad thing)
-Has an accent
-Controls between $900 million and $3.2 billion dollars part of which goes to extreme Left wing causes to extreme left wing causes eg. MoveOn.org
Mr. Kerry, my conservative friends are getting tired of your constant doom and gloom campaign speeches. From what we understand you are a war criminal? Or are you a War Hero? Mr. Kerry, Mrs. Kerry, and Mr. Edwards, if I could borrow a quote from the ketchup heiress, “Shove it!”
