I've always been small for my age. I still am a short arse. I guess that would make me an easy target for people to 'pick' on me for example. I had a few things working for me while I was at school though, I had a mouth that more than made up for what I was lacking in height. I had a good sense of humor, so I was able to laugh my way out of difficult situations, and I had big sisters. Plus I'm a pretty nice lass, so people generally liked me. I wasn't overly popular, but I was no where near unpopular. It seems in school popularity is the key to success, to fit in with the rest of the crowd. If you stand out, you're in big trouble. I did have a few attempts of bullying at school. I remember this one girl, who was about three years older than me, and overly sized for her age, in more ways than one, she took it upon her self to 'welcome' me to the school. The ironic thing is, that even though she was alot bigger than me, it still took the back up of three of her friends, for her to be able to say anything to me. I think the having an audience thing is rather important, for the full effect of bullying to be realised. Anyway this girl came up to me, I think it was just the luck of the draw she picked me out, though the fact I was a shorty probably came into play, and she said something like, we're going to get you after school. Yawn! No reasons why, no battle of the wits, nothing. I suppose I should of being scared, but I really wasn't I found it rather amusing, and I knew a reaction was what she was looking for, so I let her walk (waddle) off with her friends. The end of school came, and what a surprise, nothing. A few days later I was out with one of my sisters, and I saw this girl, and I mentioned to my sister what happened. I don't know to this day if my sister said something to that girl, but she never bothered me again.
I know I'm poking fun at bullies, but for some people it's a serious issue. If you don't realise they are stupid morons, acting like performing monkies for their friends, because they are seriously lacking a personality or something else that will make them friends, then the can be quite intimidating creatures. That's what they play on though, your fear. They get a kick out of it. It's their moment to shine. It's all they have. It usually means their victim threatens them in some way. Some way they will never admit, but they feel the need to kick them down. Children are cruel. They say what they want to, they can be as harsh as they like, and it can hurt. Especially when you're a teenager and you're going through all them awful changes, your bodies changing, you're coming to terms with just who you actually are. It's a tough time, and then to have some fool make it even worse is not nice. Bullies are stupid, but in the art of bullying they can be pretty clever. They know how to pick their victim, they know to pick someone who will make them look good, someone who everyone can laugh at, someone who is that bit different. Once one starts, it leaves the gates open for everyone to follow suit, because it's seen to be ok. Ahh that big kid did it, so it must be ok. The victim is forgotten.
The stereotype for the 'victim' of a bully is usually the geeky kid, or the fat kid, or the stupid kid, or the little kid, the truth is it can be anyone. If they are picked out, they don't have much choice but to go with it. I mean of course there are things you can do to try and stop it, but no one that's being bullied actually lets it happen to them. It's a chain of events that occur, that just throws you in that situation, and when it's a group of bullies it's that bit more difficult to escape, when it's everywhere you turn just where do you go? Especially when you are at school, you are locked in together, you have no where to go. They can make your life hell at school. I saw some kids being interviewed that were being bullied at school. My heart broke for them. They were children and they were living in fear. This one girl, who was fourteen, said she laid in bed at night, worrying about the next day at school, that it was the not knowing what sadistic thing they were going to do the next day that bothered her the most. She said she usually ended up crawling into bed with her Mum in the early hours of the morning, just to feel secure for a short time. This girl had been put in hospital by bullies. The physical violence of bullies has escalated. Back in my day (how old am I? hehe!) it was more the threat, and the words, but now they beat holes out of each other. I would have had no chance. I mean a bit of verbal tennis I could handle, but a fight?? Noooo! Especially with the awful things they do to you.
If the parents take their children out of school, they get taken to court. Finding a new school is difficult. Stopping children bullying is difficult. The whole situation is near impossible. Parents hands are tied, they have to watch their child go through this and theres nothing they can do. They can't fight the fight for them, as much as they would like to, because then they turn bully, and it could lead to serious trouble. Teachers try, but they have hundreds of pupils to deal with on a daily basis, people get lost in the crowd. There's no real answer to this awful sitation, people just need to be aware that it's going on, and it can happen to adults too.
Maybe not in the same vulgar way it happens to children, but adults can be bullied in the work place. They can be seen as weaker, less able than other people and some bright spark will try and take advantage of that. It's more embarrassing for adults to admit it. Of course it is, surely they should be capable of looking after themselves? That's not always the case though, people just need to see you have a weak spot and take advantage of it. People say alot about bullies that they are obviously going through something bad, and that makes them act in that way. Maybe. It's no excuse though, for them to get a few seconds of satisfaction, they are ruining someone elses life. Extreme sounding maybe, but bullying can lead to extreme situations. It's not just a playground game, the scars of bullying can stay forever.
There's not one single piece of advice I could give to someone facing this situation. Just remember a few things. You aren't alone. Many people are going through the same thing. It's not about you, it's about them, and what they get out of it. Confidence scares them. I know its easy to say, and not so easy to actually do, but presenting a confident front throws them off track, it makes them think. It won't stop it over night, but hold your head up and be proud of who you are. Finally, tell someone. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and people will help you and support you. Lots of people hate bullies just as much as I do.
