Below is the actual policy of my workplace for my public park attendant position regarding public nudity and sexual conduct, bolded in sections that I found particularly entertaining and thought it might be worth sharing.
Definitions:
2.) "Nudity" means uncovered, or less than opaquely covered, post-pubertal human genitals and pubic areas, the post-pubertal human female breast below a point immediately above the top of the areola, or the covered human male genitals in a discernibly turgid state. For purposes of this definition, a female breast is considered uncovered if the nipple only or the nipple and areola only are covered.
6.) "Sexual Conduct" means human masturbation, sexual intercourse, or any touching of the genitals, pubic areas or buttocks of the human male or female, whether alone or between members of the same or opposite sex or between humans and animals in an act of apparent sexual stimulation or gratification.
AS AN ADDED BONUS
Definition of Dangerous Weapons
Throwing stars, numchucks, clubs, saps, and any other item commonly used as, or primarily intended for use as, a weapon. (I wonder why guns and knives weren't specified. Mayber they're not as commonly used, or primarily intended for use as a weapon in comparision to throwing stars and numchucks. I swear if I have to break up one more numchuck fight I'm going to quit.)
