Schod, there's just a little point I'd like to make, and it might be outdated, but I'll try anyway...
I understand your frustration (for what it's worth) but I don't think the devs lied, or even mislead. Recall the quote about the only limit to ships being that of the system? Well, the actual statement said that this was a characteristic of the engine, not directly of the game. The engine easily allows such huge numbers, regardless of whether or not the game itself does. I think that's under one of the links at the top of the page...
If you wanted to play other people online with a high number of ships, perhaps you could start a match (or community, indeed) labelled "ship caps modified upwards" or something like that, so that other players with similar ideas could play with you. That way players with low system specs won't be at a disadvantage if 20k frigates storm down on them and their computers freeze. What do you think?
Or maybe, on IC/SD's side, they could create an option, when hosting multi matches, to eliminate or change the ship cap, similar to the option in SupCom or BFME.