Hullo, the internets. My name is Gracie, and I is the bestest dawggy is the whole wide world. My momma and My Dave tell me that all the time.
I live in a new house now that gots stairs to play on. I didn't like them stairs when we drove over here and I really wanted to go home, but My Dave said we gots to stay here now, Gracie, so I stayed. I gots a yard to play in, though, so that's good.
My Momma thinks that I is smart because I can tell the time. I know what time My Kids are supposed to come home from some place called skewl that they go to all day. I know, because I can hear those big yellow boxes coming down the street, and I know that right after I hear those, My Kids will be coming in the door. I loves My Kids. They make me happy. They play with me and they kiss me and they feed me the foods that My Dave says I'm not supposed to have because it makesmestink. I dunno what makesmestink means, but I wish I did sos I could perhaps not makesmestink and gets to eat people food more often. People food is good. It makes my belly all rumbly and then noises and some really nice smells come out of me, so I really don't know what the problem is. When the noises happen, My Kids all say GRACIE! and EWWW! and then they put their hands on their sniffers. I don't know why they don't want to smell my noises, I think they're very interesting.
I don't know what's happened, but I'm not having to be in My Room as much. My Room is in the corner of the room where My Momma cooks her people food, and I used to have to go to My Room every day and I didn't like it at ALL. That Cat likes to come and sit outside My Room and laugh at me. I don't like That Cat. She thinks she's all that just cause she gots two different colored eyes and a tail, and all I gots is two brown eyes and what My Momma calls a nubby. One day soon I'm going to have a BIG surprise in store for That Cat, and it's not going to be pretty. Anyway. I don't have to be in My Room as much anymore, and I like that a lot. My Momma stays home with me and we play together. She plays with her sticks and string, and I play with my ball. One day when My Momma wasn't looking I tried to play with a big ball of her string. It didn't work very well. I got the string all over me and when My Momma came back she seed what I had done and she said ohmyfuckinggawddawgwhathaveyoudone!!!!!and nonononononaughtynaughtydawg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I felt SO bad for messing her string up that I went to My Room and cried and that made My Momma cry too. So now I don't play with her string no more. I don't like being naughtydawg, I like being gooddawg.
Something interesting happened the other day. My Momma came home in her white outfit and she smelled REALLY interesting. She told My Dave that Igotshitontoday and he laughed. I just wanted to smell that smell so I followed her around smelling her leg and that made My Dave laugh even harder. I'd sure like to know where she got that Igotshitontoday smell at because I could smell that EVERY day and not get tired of it.
I think that my favorite part of the day - apart from when My Kids come home - is when My Dave comes home. I love My Dave. He's the bestest person in the whole world. Apart from My Momma. And My Kids. But anyway, I know when My Dave is supposed to come home and I run from the front of the house to the back of the house so's that I can be sure to see him as soon as he gets home. When he gets home.....oh man. Me and him roll around on the floor together and we play with my ball and then I lay on the couch between him and My Momma and we all watch the box with the lights and the noise. That's my favorite time of the day; when all my Kids and Momma and Dave are home at the same time. That's when I feel safe. If I could just do something about That Cat, life would be really really good.
Actually, life is really good today. I only had to go in My Room for a little while, and then My Momma and the Littlest Kid came home and I got to come out. The Littlest Kid smelled funny and he sounds different when he speaks. I think there's something wrong with his Biters. When I was a Baby Dawg, my Biters came out ALL the time. Perhaps that's what's happening with Littlest Kid. Perhaps HIS Biters felled out. But I thought he was too old for that? I thought that only happened to little Kids and Dawgs? Hmm. Something is not right. I'm going to go find out what it is.
I'll be back, The Internets.