As a mom who has been and is going through my own teen angst, I feel solidarity with your friend. Here you are, (generalizing a bit) a mom, dad, have your child, love them, take care of them, try to give them what you can, give them some space so they become an individual, shadow them at times because they need guidance, the child is well-behaved, polite, seemingly happy, growing into his/her own, then suddenly, things change, personality changes, all communication becomes somehow mixed up, or there's none at all...and then the parent becomes the enemy, the one being looked at as wanting to hurt them, trying to stop them from living their lives, you don't know what they are going through they might yell....us parents are left perplexed and wondering what the fuck did I do wrong?
This happens in many homes, everyday. It's a horrible situation! While my daughter, thank heavens, didn't go the route of being involved in a gang or group, that changed her, although if you asked my husband, in a way she did, when she join that step dancing team at her high school, mixing up with too many of those black americans with their warped views she did change....an arguement we have dragged through the earth and beyond....she still did change in her way of thinking, her goals, that she said she still does have, she became almost a stranger!
I know she wanted to be independent, and I'm proud of her for feeling that way, but not in the manner she did it! Where this young man is concerned Elie, from the amount of people, parents I've dealt with, shows I've watched, articles and books I've read...did something happened to him to make him feel disenfranchised or disenhearted? Was there a time that his mom can remember that he experienced anything that could have changed his outlook on life?
I know he's non-communicative right now, but it sounds to me that something happend to him. While I'm not sure what it could be, I am hinting that maybe someone abused him in some way, perhaps not sexually but mentally, I don't know, I'm probably grasping at straws. But having experienced a little bit of change myself when someone tried to abuse me when I was younger, and having been around children in life, talking to them etc.... drastic changes usually happen when something major goes down. I do hope somehow that he could really sit and talk with his mom, especially if they had a great relationship before. What I might suggest if I may is that she gets him alone, ask him to hear her out, tells him how much she loves him, and that she is there for him, she won't judge, she will just listen to anything he has to say abouthow he's feeling. And if he wants to talk, and if she can help, offer some advice...she's there for him. And she as to do this in a manner totally non-combative, totally on his turf, and letting him feel at ease. She also could suggest to him to write her a letter. Even if she has tried to reach out to him before and he shuts her out, tell her to try one more time...I'll be praying for them.
