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mignuna
mignuna
Join Date 01/2004
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sigmund freud and THAT one envy

plase do NOT beat me with the sexism stick. i am joking, ok ?

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May 24, 2004 12:33:50 AM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
i am fascinated by a recent article i read entitled *"i, the penis"

it's clever. it's funny. and it's largely true.

but all i really feel the need to say at this point is this:

penis, penis, penis, penis, penis.


what is that you are all so PROUD of ? ... half the world has them, you know.

some men are obsessed with their bat and two balls. it's the only subject that forever both astounds and pleases them. the fact that every man alive has one only mildly decreases this pride.


it's like a club. in EVERY sense. the expression "put your balls on the line" implies that only balls will do in times of danger.

i have pondered the female equivalent ... breasts, perhaps ? ... ovum ?.

but it's no use.

men see no point in being female .... to them, there is no point. well, no point like their point, anyway.


yet, if women had penises, men would laugh at them.

but then, men would have vaginas. umm-ahhh !. and you know those jokes men make about staying home all day to play with their breasts if only they had some ?

... well, i'm not so certain those are actually jokes.


i tend to think that, were our sexual ahem, "bits" swapped between the genders, the result may well be a lot of men spending a lot of time working out what they SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING ALL ALONG to those girly bits, and then yelling at their wives for not "making" them come.

there would be 3 days off each month, too. but WOMEN could never understand what it feels like to have cramps, or give birth for that matter ...


ohhhh, sigmund freud, i love you ... give that man a cigar




*ps: imajinits' is the article i mentioned above . thankyou michael. mig XX
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mignuna
imajinit
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Reply #1 May 24, 2004 12:48:09 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

so you liked the article (that I stole from an email btw), but didn't even leave me a reply...


I've known some women in my day with more balls than a lot of the guys I know... There is such a thing as figurative balls Darlin'... something tells me that you've got a huge pair 

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mignuna
mignuna
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Reply #2 May 24, 2004 1:29:06 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
so you liked the article (that I stole from an email btw), but didn't even leave me a reply...


michael, you know how i don't like to reply everywhere. i tend to err on the side of caution. but i am going right back to your penis blog to say i liked it !. promise.

as for my having figurative "balls" - i am insanely happy with your observation !

mig XX
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mignuna
notsohighlyevolved
Join Date 05/2004
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Reply #3 May 24, 2004 1:43:07 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
It is not possible to envy the penis. It does nothing other than follow you around uselessly (a reversed form of following really, but its a trite fact of anatomy that makes no real difference) and then, when called for, screw everything up because that "head" wasn't thinking straight.

When we get drunk, it's basically just us catching up to the permenant state of our penises

When we get stoned, its us catching up to the permenant state of our lower intestines (mulling (HA) things over, chewing on things that at the end of it all come out with the same consistency and colour, be it laughing, rambling or unconciousness, etc)

The penis is every man's enemy.

It isn't cute or intimidating - just plain ugly.

Anything that shrinks in cold or times of stress (i.e dangerous situations) couldn't possibly be the anatomical analogy of courage.

It's easily replacable for about $15.95 at your local Adult store (not saying anything about the man attached to it)

I think i'll stop now and go run a warm bath with a packet of razor blades.

Marco XX
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mignuna
mignuna
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Reply #4 May 24, 2004 1:52:12 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
It's easily replacable for about $15.95 at your local Adult store (not saying anything about the man attached to it)I think i'll stop now and go run a warm bath with a packet of razor blades.Marco XX


way to rain on my parade, marco.

let me guess ... you went to uni today ?

mig XX

ps: I WANT ONE, DAMMIT.
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mignuna
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Reply #5 May 24, 2004 1:58:47 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
You can have mine.

It's second hand and probably hasn't retained its market value all too well, so i don't know about the resale (trust me, the urge will come upon you).

Don't trust it though.

It's shifty and i suspect it has Bolshevik tendencies since it always tends to go for the whole each according to its needs thing, and doesn't mind working within a communal setting.

Marco XX

PS Uni was just brilliant. It didn't twitch once. A feat to be remembered.
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mignuna
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Reply #6 May 24, 2004 2:05:09 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
You can have mine


It's shifty and i suspect it has Bolshevik tendencies since it always tends to go for the whole each according to its needs thing, and doesn't mind working within a communal setting.Marco XXPS Uni was just brilliant. It didn't twitch once. A feat to be remembered.


ok, so maybe not THAT particular one. and you do like it sometimes, it just MAKES you go to paris with crazy women sometimes.

mig XX
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mignuna
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Reply #7 May 24, 2004 2:22:14 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
yeah, and makes me do a whole lot of other unmentionables...

I don't like it. Like some say, marriage (without the possibility of divorce. Or a painless one anyway) is about compromise and below the waist domestic violence.

It would leave me as quickly as i would leave it.

I need to go...i think the Un-penis-like Activities Committe (HUPAC) might have tapped my line.

Marco XX (not my real name)
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mignuna
mignuna
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Reply #8 May 24, 2004 3:43:34 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I need to go...i think the Un-penis-like Activities Committe (HUPAC) might have tapped my line.


you dufus

mig XX
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mignuna
WiseFawn
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Reply #9 May 24, 2004 9:25:29 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I completely admit to having occasional penis envy. But remember your promise!
There are times I really want to grab something and spew words.
I'm going to look for the penis article.
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mignuna
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Reply #10 May 25, 2004 2:27:02 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I completely admit to having occasional penis envy. But remember your promise!


*sighs* i will

mig XX
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mignuna
Mackintosh
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Reply #11 May 25, 2004 4:07:23 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Miguna, my penis is bigger than yours.
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Reply #12 May 25, 2004 4:49:34 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Miguna, my penis is bigger than yours.


macky ... lmfao ... what a dubious achievement THAT is

mig XX
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mignuna
kingbee
Join Date 04/2004
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Reply #13 May 25, 2004 5:12:03 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
my first really close friend online was a norwegian lesbian who promised me shed put in a good word with the goddess so that ill be able to reincarnate as a woman. i fully appreciate the hazards such a change entails and i know ill be okay.

unless i mirror the floor and wind up starving to death because im unable to leave the room
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mignuna
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Reply #14 May 25, 2004 8:43:53 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
my first really close friend online was a norwegian lesbian who promised me shed put in a good word with the goddess so that ill be able to reincarnate as a woman. i fully appreciate the hazards such a change entails and i know ill be okay.


king, i wish i was a norwegian lesbian.

what an introduction line: "hi, i'm a norwegian lesbian. not only do i come from somewhere fabulous that sounds all swiss and icily sexy and drives men mad, i also prefer women ... so salivate over THAT, you nasty hetero male ANIMAL, you".

men would be crying.

i think we have your next-life incarnation solved right there, king.

ooooooh, and mine too !

mig XX
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mignuna
kingbee
Join Date 04/2004
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Reply #15 May 25, 2004 9:24:28 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
actually i didnt realize she was norwegian for a while cause she was so fluent in english. but her intro was an absolute killer (it reguires a bit of backround or id run it down to you)

but if youre offering to join me in my upcoming adventure as a newly reborn norwegian lesbian...wheeeeeeeeeee!
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mignuna
mignuna
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Reply #16 May 25, 2004 9:35:22 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
but if youre offering to join me in my upcoming adventure as a newly reborn norwegian lesbian...wheeeeeeeeeee!


king, this IS cyberspace, after all.

i'd be willing to "bet the farm" (no, i don't have a farm, i'm speaking australian at you there) that there's plenty of "norwegian lesbians" on the internet that are really called leonard flatbush and live in "insert-boring-suburban-situation-here" anyway.

so, we can technically be norwegian lesbians NOW. should we WANT to.

um. do we want to ?

mig XX
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mignuna
kingbee
Join Date 04/2004
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Reply #17 May 25, 2004 9:47:40 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
unfortunately we bet the farm here (or some of us do...or have) it seemed like such a sure thing too.

as far as the norwegian lesbian thing goes, im afraid im not yet quite fully qualified. i still need to pass lutefisk. heres a description of the course lutefisk


as far as the pitfalls of cybersex, i managed to umm overcome them some time ago thanks to technology found here
fufme
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mignuna
werewolf
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Reply #18 May 25, 2004 10:26:59 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
men see no point in being female .... to them, there is no point. well, no point like their point, anyway.



Actually.... ummm, ahem...

bathtub faucets and whirlpool water jets.

I was swimming laps at the Y one day, only one other person around, a young female, attractive. I kind of kept an eye on her whilst swimming. She stopped doing laps and headed over to the side of the pool. She stayed there for quite a while. As I was watched her, she was kind of...wiggling...squirming anyway. I couldn't really watch very closely. After she left, I went over to where she was and lo and behold...a water jet. Right at that level. My first thought was 'you go girl!!' My second thought was 'why can't guys do that?'
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mignuna
mignuna
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Reply #19 May 26, 2004 8:08:12 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
as far as the pitfalls of cybersex, i managed to umm overcome them some time ago thanks to technology found here fufme


you know king, somebody sent me a link to that website in an email. (i can't imagine what they were trying to tell me ???).

i was tempted to post it here actually, but i feared retribution from people who may have actually fallen for it.

i haven't looked at the other one yet. i'll let you know when i do. in the meantime, i recommend this: Link

After she left, I went over to where she was and lo and behold...a water jet. Right at that level. My first thought was 'you go girl!!' My second thought was 'why can't guys do that?'


oh, werewolf. you've got something that can be SHOT OFF like a BAZOOKA for gods' sake, and you want to deny women water jets ?.

mig XX
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mignuna
kingbee
Join Date 04/2004
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Reply #20 May 26, 2004 11:12:56 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
the zoo is a riot as are the other things hes got linked to it. the stick insect thing reminded me of my own efforts in a similar directions...a tribute to lamprey eels that came about after i discovered the the mod position was empty at alt.binaries.sex.animals.lampreyeels.

i actually was prepared to order one of those fufme things for an acquaintance in my old chat...id even generated and validated several credit card numbers when i realized i didnt have the delivery address.

im hoping the lutefisk thing will give you an even greater appreciation for all things norse

i hope im not revealing too much by mentioning that water has no specific gender bias...if you love it...itll love you back
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mignuna
werewolf
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Reply #21 May 26, 2004 7:07:58 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
oh, werewolf. you've got something that can be SHOT OFF like a BAZOOKA for gods' sake, and you want to deny women water jets ?


ROFLMAO!!!!! a bazooka?? damn, who have you been doing it with?

Nay, I don't wish to deny women water jets.. quite the opposite. just envy.
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mignuna
mignuna
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Reply #22 May 31, 2004 1:15:16 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
i actually was prepared to order one of those fufme things for an acquaintance in my old chat...id even generated and validated several credit card numbers when i realized i didnt have the delivery address. im hoping the lutefisk thing will give you an even greater appreciation for all things norse


king, i am still uncertain which of these two ahem, diverse items traumatised me more. it seems to me that the lutefisk wins on the grounds of sheer descriptive power, but the other thing is not without it's own particular disgusting qualities.

ROFLMAO!!!!! a bazooka?? damn, who have you been doing it with?


ok werewolf, so a bazooka was a slight overstatement ... but you men do that all the time, so ...

mig XX
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mignuna
werewolf
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Reply #23 May 31, 2004 7:32:24 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Here's a perfect example of that last statement:

Do you know why girls have such bad depth perception?

Because guys have been telling them that this much (werewolf holds finger and thumb apart about 6 inches)
is nine inches.
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mignuna
dharmagrl
Join Date 02/2004
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Reply #24 May 31, 2004 8:10:09 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Because guys have been telling them that this much (werewolf holds finger and thumb apart about 6 inches)
is nine inches.


I spat out beer on that comment....thanks, Dave!


, that was good....very good!

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