Here's what happened:

His daughter in law told him that I was irritated that he didn't come home so I could go take care of my business.  He KNEW I wasticked.

He didn't say a motherfucking thing to me about it.  Not a single word.  No apology, no explanation, no attempt at justification...nothing. 

He is hallucinating again, though.  He was telling me about a big black car that parks across his driveway all times of the day and night.  It looks like a limo and has all kinds of extra headlights and tail lights and lights all over the place.  The driver never gets out and can't really be seen, but he gives rides to all the people who stand under the streetlamp at the edge of his yard. 

There are no people.  There is no big black car.  There isn't a perpetually regenerating spider.  There weren't any people coming out of the floor vents in his home.  There are no bugs crawling all over the kitchen counters and swirling around in the commode.  There are no people screaming and calling out for their momma in the middle of the night, there aren't any people singing about jesus at 3am.  There aren't any poles with loudspeakers on them going up all over town.

It's all hallucinations.  He knows it - well, I shouldn't say that.  He KNEW at the start, when it was just the bugs and the singing and the occasional person outside.  He was able to separate reality from the hallucination.  WAS.  He can't do that any more.  He's called the local police more than a few times, and they've responded only to find....well, nothing.  No intruders, anyway.  Anyway, they have his number now, and whilst they respond quickly when he calls them (as they should), they know that they'll more than likely find him alone, agitated because he sees what they don't...what they can't.  He's lucky that they haven't transported him to the hopital and had him held on a 72 hour psychiatric watch or admitted to a geriatric ward, sedated and strapped to the bed if he protests too much.  It's only a matter of time before that happens, really.  It's not a matter of 'this could happen', it's more a matter of 'this WILL happen, we just don't know when'.  It's only a matter of time before there's a catastrophic event that will lead to other people making decisions regarding his home and health - something he is adamant he doesn't want to happen.

It's only a matter of time.  He can't go on like this; he's not recieving adequate care himself and he sure as hell isn't providing adequate care to his wife.  Yes, I come in every day and I bust my ass to make sure they get what they need when I'm there, but....I have a home and a family; I can't be there 24 hours a day.  He can't even keep his medication regimen straight in the 4 hours between when I leave and the afternoon girl comes in; he forgets to take his meds and forgets to give the Mrs her meds and all the work I did that morning, all the setting everyone straight and dosing on time and making sure they're medicated and cleaned up and fed well.....it all falls apart.  It's like a house of cards - it only takes a slight disturbance of air and it all comes crashing down.

If it weren't for the Mrs....well, I don't know that I would have been able to tolerate him for as long as I have (apparently he's gone through every agency in town and hasn't found any of the people any of them have sent out to him satisfactory).  I absolutely adore the Mrs, it makes my day when I go in to get her up and she recognises me and wants to talk to me.  She's just a joy to be around, and I'm pretty attached to her.

*sigh* I DO have sympathy for him; I'm not a total bitch.  I provide him with the best care I can possibly give, no matter what he says to me, no matter how bad his attitude towards me is, no matter how selfish and self-centered he can be.  Underneath it all, he's a frail old man who is fighting to stay in the home he and his wife built when they were first married, who's scared to death that he will be separated from the woman he still calls 'babe', who is determined to NOT be placed in a nursing home.

Unfortunately, I think that his worst fear is going to become a reality soon.  I'm trying as hard as I can to make him see that he HAS to make some sensible decisions for himself and his wife soon, that it's time to face reality and work with the situation he actually has rather than the one he wishes he had....because if he doesn't make some good decisions for himself soon, someone else will have to step in and make the decisions for him.

He's not going to like that.