It does not wash with my macho upbringing (or is it male chauvinist?), and it goes against the grain of a World (my World), where real men live. The word "Macho" smacks of young horny bucks (young men with testosterone flowing like lava), but it goes further than that. Real men are taught to be bastards, crude but vigorous lovers, control freaks and, above all, have balls like a bull and a tumescent member that has females in awe.
Totally different background to me. To rephrase what you said...
A real man doesn't fight unless he's fighting in physical defence of person or family. A real man is able to coopt or outplay all his enemies. A real man doesn't hurt those he loves. He knows exactly what they like and makes sure they get it. A real man isn't a control freak. He knows how to relax and what is important in life. A real man is a good lover. He doesn't make it hard for his sexual partners to walk the next day; that is unnecessary and not only cause for a public shaming but will completely defeat his purpose, as no one who knows the poor girl will sleep with him. A real man knows most girls are more likely to get off from tongue-work than from his member, so while big definitely is better, it's not everything. A real man knows homophobia happens to other people. Public displays of affection towards friends are okay and that homoerotically charged activities like contact sports and friend fighting are just a part of growing up.
That's just a rough approximate, but I was raised by a school teacher and a university professor, so my upbringing is probably way less macho than most.
My feelings are not totally confused. I know I am biased but I can't help it.
Hey there's no problem with bias so long as you know you have it. I tend to be biased against country people because they're so pointlessly macho. There's so much in life they're missing out on because of hate or fear of difference (having sex with the same sex isn't something I'm including here). But so long as you don't let it control you - and from what you say you do try to resist it - it doesn't matter. People define themselves in opposition to what they see as other. That's only natural. But part of being a good person is resisting that urge and trying to accept the Other. And you seem to be doing that despite being macho. So who cares? You don't have to totally accept to choose tolerance.
Not sure whether this was in God's plan though.
There's a lot worse things going on in this world than love between people of the same sex. I think if God is going to get pissed off about something he'll probably choose more reprehensible crimes. Compared to rape, murder, the molestation of children, theft, coveting of asses, war crimes, genocide, tyranny and torture I don't think gays are going to feature high on his list.
