I had two very terrible nightmares last night and I just can't forget about them. I've cried and slept on and off all day today and I just can't get over them. Now I don't even want to sleep tonight. Has this ever happened to you?
The first one I had was that I committed suicide. Pretty bad stuff. I'm not even suicidal or anything.
The second one was even worse (and it's a recurrent dream that I have often):
I was locked in a room with the guy who abused me from the time I was 3 until around 11 or 12. He had me locked in. There were no windows and several padlocks on the doors. I tried everything I could do to get away or to hurt it but nothing worked. I'd try to hit him or throw something at him but it would never hurt him - even kicking him you know where. Nothing worked. God do I hate this dream. It's back enough that he visited me in the night all those years. I HATE having to still deal with him - and he's not even in my life anymore...
grrrrr....
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MOTHER F@@@ER!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF I WAS BRAVE ENOUGH I'D KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!
I WISH I KNEW THAT I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU BACK THEN AND GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU S&*K !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
