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EmperorofIceCream

Join Date 09/2004

Why I Love my Wife

Or, Why I Love my Wife

Everyone in JU (at least, those who have been here awhile) knows little whip. Everyone. And everyone who knows her in JU has an opinion about her, whether 'good' or 'bad'. She has her favorite victims, her good JU buddies, and the rest to amuse her, the vast sea of anonymous, mediocre, second-rate bloggers whom everyone ignores. And all who have, in any way, encountered her have an opinion about her.

Allow me to tell you the truth. The very worst you can imagine of her, the cruellest and most vicious thing, the most terrible thing you can associate with the term 'being human', is true of her. Her cruelty is absolute and knows no limits. And yet she can be terribly solicitous and sympathetic - so long as you do whatever she tells you to do in order to remedy whatever situation she is willing to sympathize with you over.

Why do I love her? Because her cleverest cruelties are always supremely witty. Because her cruellest observations make me howl with laughter. Because she is, consummately, a woman, and women are far more terrible, sophisticated, and savage in their humor than are men. And this is a thing worthy of the greatest love and respect on the part of men: a) because women in general swoon when a man acknowledges the fact of this cruelty; and

most women are too simple to realize that some men are capable of exploiting their understanding of their own cruelty to their own advantage.

My wife is at once the most knowing and the most innocent of individuals. It's innocence allied to curiosity that makes me howl with laughter when we sit at the table in the kitchen in the evening after I get back from work and bullshit back and forth. She makes me laugh more than anyone else I've ever known. And she has the invaluable gift of being able to make me laugh at myself, of being able to cut me down to my proper size, without ever being insulting or arrogant or over-bearing. She makes me see myself - and laugh. Which cannot ever be anything but a good thing.

There is no denying that she's strange. But neither is there any denying that I am strange, or that how we are strange together intermeshes in interesting and provocative ways.

I think that's what I love about her most. That she's willing to accept the many ways in which I am strange, and willing to build a successful life around them without any demand that I change. She is how she is: and she is willing to accord the same privilege of being to anyone who is willing to take up the challenge of actually being what they are.

Everyone, including the most devoted of lovers, wants you to change to the point where they can recognise themselves in you. Not Sabrina. Instead, like me, she demands that you be absolutely yourself - even if doing so requires that you be at war with each other every evening. Better to be at war with each other than to live in the deathly peace of complacency. Of self-satisfied 'understanding'.

Why do I love her? Because she makes me laugh more than anyone else ever has.

My wife is a remarkable woman.

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If you say something bad about Sabrina on this thread I guarantee that I will blacklist you. Try me, motherfucker. Try me.

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To: All

Let me say it again. Don't be mean to my wife on my thread.

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I think every woman should be married to a man who believes she's remarkable.

I am glad LW is married to one.

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I think every woman should be married to a man who believes she's remarkable.I am glad LW is married to one.

Ditto!

A beautiful tribute and well-deserved!

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Try me, motherfucker. Try me.

Heh, wished I had a nickle for every time I've heard that particular taunt.

Yes, your (may I say...our?) Sabrina is a remarkable woman. Funny, but I've never seen what's to NOT like about her -I mean, she calls 'em as she sees 'em and if she does occasionaly fucks up she admits it.

You're a fortunate man for being in the position to call her wife and I am a fortunate man to be in the position to call her friend -even if it is a long distance internet pass-time thing and we will in most likely hood never, ever meet.
But a friend all the same.

(and I can't tell you the times she's cracked me up too and usually when I've needed it the most! And that attribute is solid gold indeed)

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She is lucky to have a man that loves and understands her the way you do, your love for her is obvious YRH. Be good to one another.

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I love your wife, too.

Very sweet article. I'm jealous.

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I like both of you guys, and think you're both pretty remakable

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PS. Did you have to use the Blacklist feature yet?

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Sugar Dumplin', my Hunny Bunny

I sometimes forget your hubby is practically a Yardy....I call mine these all the time! [not that those terms are particularly Jamaican but we do use them all the time.]

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two choices - see below

a gang member and thug

Yardie gangs from Jamaica operate in the UK

Four men have been jailed for life at the Old Bailey for their part in a Yardie turf war murder at a London sports centre.

The four killers were members of a gang known as the Lock City Crew.

They had launched a revenge attack to defend their "territory" against a rival gang from Brixton.

The scene that followed was more reminiscent of the Wild West than north London on a Saturday afternoon

Prosecutor Richard Horwell
The shooting, at the Bridge Park leisure centre, north west London, left 29-year-old Dion Holmes dying from a bullet wound through his heart.

The four killers - Winston "Escobar" Harris, 38, and Stephen "Beamer" Murray, 26, both from Kensal Green, Jermaine "My Lord" Hamilton, 22, from Kilburn and Leonard Cole, 27, from Finsbury Park, all north London - had all denied murdering Mr Holmes on 1 May last year.

A fifth man, David Lewis, 49, from Wembley, was cleared of murder, manslaughter and a firearms offence and was freed.

He had denied the offences.

'Mission of revenge and retribution'

The gang had turned the centre, near Wembley stadium, into their headquarters, keeping arms, ammunition and drugs there.

The four men are all Jamaican and had stayed in Britain longer than they were allowed either before the murder or since their arrest.

Judge Peter Beaumont made no recommendations for their deportation at the end of their sentence.

He said he was "quite satisfied" all factors determining their future status in the UK would be considered by the Home Secretary at the time "without any assistance from me."

At the start of the month-long trial Richard Horwell, prosecuting, said: "Even in these days of seemingly increasing violence, the circumstances of Mr Holmes's death were remarkable.

"He was shot by one of the armed gang who descended on the sports complex on a mission of revenge and retribution.

'Lack of respect'

"Their desire for revenge was based on what appears to be, of all things, a parking incident earlier that day."

The gang had at their disposal a variety of weapons from handguns to a sawn-off pump action shotgun, said Mr Horwell.

They believed, after the parking incident outside the complex, that the other group had shown "a certain lack of respect to them and their territory".

They picked up a sports bag containing the firearms and went to the centre.

"The scene that followed was more reminiscent of the Wild West than north London on a Saturday afternoon," said Mr Horwell.

One of the gang locked the doors preventing people from leaving and shots were fired both from the sawn-off shotgun and a handgun, he added.

Asked to park properly

Mr Horwell said the earlier parking incident involved a woman parking outside the entrance of the complex, not in a parking bay.

When she was asked to park properly, an argument followed.

The woman later returned with her husband and abuse and insults were thrown before they left.

When some members of the Lock City Crew arrived at the complex and discovered what had happened "on their territory, they became excitable".

Gerry Davis, Director of Community Development at Brent Council said after the case that immediate action had been taken "to ensure the safety of staff and the public".

This included £100,000 to increase security at Bridge Park.

OR

A man of love - according to this poem

Chanje Kunda

Yardy Men

Dreaded fear of Jamaican men
So cool so calm so collected
Strutting their attitude
Like peacocks strut their feathers

With their baggy jeans
and their tight arses
string vests
showing bare chests

Their hair in dreads
or cane rows
and their sparkling gold
teeth

Full lips glimmering with
fresh kisses
the darkest eyes lustily
lookin, just lookin

Their furious fucking
Hastily undressing
Trembling women
For their manhood sake

Girls open up like flowers
in the heat of them
exposing their womanhood
in the deepest part of themselves

Then day breaks
and they are gone
So many flowers to taste
No time to waste

take your pick it depends which way you spell it.............

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two choices - see below

a gang member and thug

Yardie gangs from Jamaica operate in the UK

ERRRR...nope, wrong, this is what the media and the police and those who are in gangs who are actually not true Jamaicans call themselves that. Anyone who is a true Jamaican, or hangs around Jamaicans, and not just those who call themself that so as to get props would know that a Yardy is someone who hails from the country of birth of an islander, .

A Yardy, as referred to by Jamaicans to each other affectionately as a means of identification, is someone who is from where they are from and understands the culture, the speech, the food and everything Jamaican, or Barbadan or Trinidadian.

The bad connotations come from what the news media and people who were born abroad but associated with islanders, whether by birth or otherwise have made the word into a 'bad' one. So, the gang inference is not from 'us' it's from the news media and the police themselves and as I said, those that do the deeds they do and wanted to give themselves a name.

I've read Simon's blogs where he mentions he has been around Jamaicans when he was younger and lived the life and knew the language, etc. When I saw the term Sugar
Dumplin, that's one we use quite often and I don't hear it from Americans in general and Honey Bunny as well. Maybe the latter more than the previous.

It's unfortunate that Ms. Newshound as to always look at things the way she does. Yes, I know that there are people who are very bad, from my country out there, who act like they are idiots, and there are so many who take on the persona of a Jamaican so people don't mess with them because we have the reps of not taking shit from no one, I've been around a few of those who always get called out because a true Jamaican doesn't have to show how tough they are. I could go on and on, but I'll stop here Sabrina. I just wanted to clarify that. I referred to Simon as a almost Yardy, with much affection and nothing else.

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To: foreverserenity

My mother is a sexually promiscuous woman, or was in her younger days. Her tastes always, after her relationship with my father came to an end, ran to Black men and Jamaicans in particular. Because of her I can say that I have never met a man of Jamaican descent that I could not respect - and by no means were these honest, law-abiding men. They were however all good men and honest, in their own way.

I will take your comment about my relationship to the Yardies as a compliment. Since Yardies make the Mafia look like humanitarians. I'm not at all sure what it is about Jamaicans generally that makes me like them so much - other than that, when they run to the bad they're really, really bad, and at the same time completely honest about their motivations. Jamaicans are good people. They also know how to cook, and brew beer. That's enough for me. That, and the memory of the Jamaican kids I knew at school, who always had the best ganga, and the best dub reggae, straight from the Island on bootleg tapes.

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As to the rest of you:

Y'all can call her what you want, because the simple fact remains that she's mine. Just so long as, on my thread, you're polite about it.

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because the simple fact remains that she's mine

Yes she is! : )

when they run to the bad they're really, really bad, and at the same time completely honest about their motivations. Jamaicans are good people. They also know how to cook, and brew beer

Yes, they are!

So 'yardy' is the jamaican equivalent of 'homie' (home boy) then. Now I get it, lol.

Exactly Whip!

I will say, though, I enjoyed the poem

It was wasn't it?!

She does seem to dig and dig until she finds something awful, doesn't she?

It's her MO.

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To: Shovelheat

Heh, wished I had a nickle for every time I've heard that particular taunt.

I'm sure you do: you'd be a reasonably wealthy man. There are two practical principles of life (that may be said to sum up, as general rules of thumb, my approach to the necessary evil of living cheek-by-jowl with others). Always do what you are afraid of. Always do what you say you will do - and be as certain as you can that what you say you will do is meaningful within the context of the circumstances that prompted you to speak in the first place. It is an axiom with me that it's better to keep silence and be thought a fool than to open my mouth and by speaking demonstrate conclusively that I am a fool. Also, he who proceeds in patient silence is far more likely to achieve what he intends than the braggart who announces to the world what he intends to do beforehand, and incites the hatred, or the envy, or the resentment, or the simple incredulity of the world to oppose him.

In the perfectly circumscribed circumstances that pertain to relationships in JU, blacklisting is the ultimate disavowal of the worth of another. Here, where the written word is our medium of communication and relationship, blacklisting is akin to murder, because it removes from the blacklister's personal universe (his or her blog) the possibility of communicating with the blacklistee. It's a way of saying that the blacklistee is so entirely unimportant, so thoroughly and completely irrelevant, and at the same time so perniciously annoying, that the deliberate removal of the blacklistee from the personal world of the blacklister is the only appropriate course of action.

Of course, this 'virtual killing' of someone in JU has none of the terrible consequences of real murder in the real world. But the structure of the impulse that leads to the act of blacklisting is the same as the structure of the impulse that leads to actual murder: the desire to expunge the victim from the world of the murderer forever.

I rarely blacklist. But none of the holders of that rare privilege have ever been returned to the land of the living, or, less poetically put, none of them have ever been taken off it. I have killed them, just as I said I would. Because I respect the power of speaking (speech is where reality lives) I have never told anyone (since I became an adult) that I would kill them. Because no one has ever done anything to me (yet) that merits actual killing. Those are not words that I would ever speak until and unless I sincerely meant them. And, if I meant them, I would not speak them to the person toward whom I directed that sentiment. Why tell someone you want to kill that you intend killing them?

So. While JU is a trivial forum, and an arena in which we indulge the solipsistic pleasure of appearing only as we wish to appear, it is still a forum in which words carry a power that ought not to be abused.

Threatening to blacklist someone in JU is a trivial act with no real consequences. It's also a form of murder (at least in relation to the private world of the blogger issuing the threat). If someone, anyone, were to offend me by their comments regarding my wife on this thread, which is a tribute to her and an expression of my feelings towards her as her husband, that person would be instantly and irrevocably blacklisted and, in my mind at least, in relation to the world of my blog, I will have killed the offender.

Yes, your (may I say...our?) Sabrina is a remarkable woman. Funny, but I've never seen what's to NOT like about her -I mean, she calls 'em as she sees 'em and if she does occasionaly fucks up she admits it.

Our wedding was attended by a man called Joe. He had known Sabrina for most of their lives and he was her closest friend on Earth. They were sometime lovers, and as close to each other as breath is to the person doing the breathing. Another man might have been intimidated by his presence at the wedding: not I. Why? Because what we share can't be threatened in the kind of ways that the jealous mind fears. If it satisfies something in you to refer to her as ours, and therefore in some sense yours, then feel free to do so - because the way in which she may be said to be yours relates solely to JU, to the respect she (and I) have for your ability as a writer, and to an arena of personal myth, story-telling, regret, and the imagination of other possibilities for our lives.

None of which would withstand, for even an instant, the reality of actually being married to her. To be married to her is a great privilege, and often a great pleasure, but it's not something I'd recommend to the faint-hearted, or those who don't share our particular pleasures and proclivities.

So by all means feel free to think of her as 'ours', because whatever you may think of when you use the word in your own thoughts is so far removed from the reality of our lives together that it constitutes nothing but fantasy.

And a man's fantasies are his own.

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To little whip

Hehe, in other words, I'm a REAL bitch outside of JU.

Yes you are. Which is only one of many reasons that I love you.

V^^^^^^V bites you.

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aww, I wondered who resurrected this one! You'll get through it Whip...it ain't a easy road sometimes, but love does conquer all.....99.9% of the time anyways!

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